Lesson 18. Love Is Not Feelings and Emotions

By promising to show me great and hidden things, the Lord makes it clear that these are things I do not know. I ask Him for love and pray for this gift of Heaven. It seems that I have at least an approximate idea of what it is, yet I cannot understand how love will act in my heart, what will happen to me, how I will behave, and much more. Of course, I have certain expectations and ideas because I have read much about love. I know people who love. It is so good and peaceful to be with them.

I imagine that special feelings and emotions will overflow me, making me very happy and so joyful that nothing will be able to cast even a shadow of sadness upon me. This is exactly what I expect from love. After all, it is love. And love smiles.

I pray with a smile upon my lips and joy in my heart. I believe, believe, believe that I will possess this Heavenly treasure. I read books and articles about love. As I study the Bible, I see how much is written about it. The thirteenth chapter of the First Epistle to the Corinthians contains an entire poem about love, which I dream of possessing very soon. And perhaps something like this has already settled within my heart.

I wait, pray, believe, and study. I notice that all my open and secret sins begin to manifest and express themselves very clearly. Those closest to me, from whom I cannot escape, become very unreasonable in their behavior. Many of my plans collapse. Life becomes one continuous battlefield with myself and with the people closest to me. It appears that the entire world has risen against me. I feel shame for my sins and pain when I am betrayed and hated. I am astonished because people’s hypocrisy and false smiles become evident to me.

Despite this, I continue to pray, asking for God’s blessing upon myself and others and pleading for Heavenly love and the forgiveness of sins.

The people closest to me cause me unimaginably severe emotional pain, yet I feel sorry for them. I have no anger toward them and no desire to take revenge or respond in the same way. As I offer prayers for myself and for these people, I understand how dear they are to me—far too dear for me to cause them pain in return. Yet instead of joy, I begin to worry that I may have answered them badly or thought something wrong about them, and therefore grieved God and betrayed His trust. Although I recognize my impurity and that I am still far from love, I do not lose faith that God loves and trains me.

Peace fills my heart through the understanding of such love from God. I know how greatly I now need the power to love, and I ask for it. As I ask, I receive. My heart becomes calm; I repent and come to myself. Although I have nothing over which to rejoice and am ashamed to boast, something special in this love keeps me from losing my mind in such trials. Suddenly I begin to understand that I am becoming cleaner, that all the filth that has come out of me does not return, and that all these difficult and evil people are given to test me and teach me to love them.

Gradually I come to understand that love is preparing a place for itself within my heart by cleansing it. Trials of faith no longer frighten me. I even ask for them, if only the Lord will show me my sin. He answers, sometimes in such a way that I am horrified by myself. But there is no longer fear; there is a desire to run quickly to Jesus with it and ask Him to remove my iniquity and correct my heart. The Lord receives me, forgives me, and gives me power not to sin.

Through my own experience, I now know how God’s grace works within me, healing my soul. The process of salvation from the dominion of sin becomes understandable to me.

In my eyes, the cruel people close to me no longer appear so evil, because I see how unhappy they are in their unbelief. I feel very sorry for them, and I pray for these people to be forgiven because they know not what they do.

I choose love, and it comes, filling my mind and giving me a clear understanding of what should and should not be done. I know that something very unusual is taking place within me—something not temporary, but very strong and constant. I begin to experience the power of love and now go forward myself to meet the inevitable conflict. My new gift remains with me. Love does not disappear, but behaves very wisely and does not surrender.

Sometimes, out of habit, I try to solve my problems in a human way and immediately understand that I am losing. Then I ask for love, and it immediately intervenes, while I understand how I should behave correctly.

This amazing love is not expressed in stormy emotions or in any special feelings and experiences. It is within me, but I cannot explain it in words. It is woven so completely into my consciousness and feelings that I cannot distinguish where I am and where love is. Love has dissolved within me and become one with me, yet sometimes I do not even recognize it, because I am the same person, but already different—completely different.

I want to express it with a smile, but that is not it. I want to speak it in words, but I cannot find the right words. I try to display emotions of delight, but everything somehow appears false. I become calm. I take the Bible and, as I read, see that Jesus loved and treated people in exactly the same way as I do in my new experience. His conduct and attitude toward people were very tactful, respectful, principled, gentle and firm, tender and just. I notice that this same character is beginning to appear within me. I am becoming like my Savior. I study the life of Jesus even more attentively and begin to notice details and small things. I begin to hear His voice addressing me personally from the pages of the Bible. The God of love becomes for me the God of Love in all His manifestations. I fall in love with my Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son. My irresistible desire is to learn more about this amazing love and comprehend its depth, and the Bible gives me an answer and satisfies this thirst for knowledge. I see God’s love in everything: in sacrifices, judgments, the law, rules, care for people, and the Plan of Salvation. But most importantly, I see it within myself. I begin to understand that this is not feelings and emotions, but the Lord Jesus Himself within my heart. Feelings of gratitude for this Gift of Heaven overflow me, and my emotions express Heavenly joy and delight in inexpressible cries of happiness. I desire so greatly to share this, to love, and to speak about it. What a fire!

I go to my friends with this message, but they ask me to show them works. At first I am confused, because God is Love within me. But the answer is, “Show us the works.”

I become calm and search for the correct answer. I understand that the works will come; love is action. And when the works of love are manifested, I see that not everyone wants to experience its action personally.

I look back upon the path I have traveled, which could be described very quickly. Yet how many tears had to be shed along this path, and how much loss and suffering had to be endured. How much time was required to assemble this puzzle called “God’s love within the human being.”

I already know in part what it means to love. I cried out, and God answered; He showed me, and I saw. It truly is something great and hidden that I do not know but am trying to understand. And this hidden thing has become mine forever, for all Eternity.

It is so wonderful and simple, yet at the same time mysterious and very complex. Now try to understand it. But this request is worth crying out to God for.

1. Please read Philippians 1:9; 2:5; 1 John 4:17; Proverbs 31:18; Luke 6:41; and Hebrews 5:14 in the light of this lesson.

2. Please share your hope and expectations concerning your studies in this School.

3. Please tell us what was revealed to you in this lesson.

4. Read Ephesians 3:20–21. What power is Paul writing about in this passage? Do you believe that this power belongs to you as well?

5. What role do feelings play in a person’s life?

6. What will a person become if that person has no feelings?

7. Are feelings a reliable adviser?