Lesson 25. Teachers of Love

Let us consider a typical example from life.

I ask Jesus for love. He hears and answers me. I receive this Heavenly gift and rejoice that a new life is now beginning for me, with new experiences and new blessings. I anticipate how my pure love will conquer those near me and, like a magnet, draw them toward me while changing their hearts. I have heard so many songs about the influence of love and read so many books about it. And now it has become mine. I love! What happiness! My heart joyfully reaches toward the people closest to me so that in deed and in truth I may show myself to them as a genuine, loving Christian. I anticipate the joy of victory.

My home is my fortress. From now on, the people dearest to me will receive abundant blessings of God’s love poured through my heart into their souls. At last they will see manifestations of this gift and better understand what it is like, because I am a living witness who loves from a pure heart.

Then everything begins to happen. I declare my new feelings to my life companion, rejoicing over the influence my words will have. In response, I receive a sarcastic smile and strange silence. I do not surrender. I assure her that from now on, once and for all, I will love and nothing will shake me. I remember the biblical promises and wait for beautiful changes in our relationship. Suddenly, an avalanche of every kind of accusation, reproach, and criticism descends upon me. I discover that I am the embodiment of evil in this world and that no worse hypocrite exists on earth. As I try to resist and defend God and His gift, I hear such details about my past mistakes that I am left speechless.

With my hands hanging down under the weight of sorrow, I drag myself to Jesus, pour out my soul to Him, and ask for protection, not understanding what is happening. He comforts me and strengthens my spirit by reminding me of passages of Scripture that inspire me again. Theory and practice are not the same thing at all. Once more setting my heart upon love, I go to give it.

This time everything proceeds calmly. I apologize for the inconvenience I caused. We reconcile and continue with our ordinary activities. My love seeks an outlet and finally declares itself. But then something terrible happens: I am struck in the most painful and vulnerable place—someone “steps on my favorite sore spot.” Everything goes dark before my eyes. I know what to do in such a situation and how to respond to such outrageous injustice. I explode and deliver such a powerful counterattack that within seconds everything returns to normal and peace reigns in the family. Everything becomes silent. We go to separate rooms—my wife in tears, and I agitated by the experience. I calm down and desire to come to Jesus, but a heavy burden rests upon my heart. I understand that I have done something wrong. I try to pray, but the words form a lump in my throat, and I have nothing to say. Shame over what happened constricts my throat, and I feel that I have betrayed God’s trust. Deep melancholy surrounds my mind. I sink into despair. What should I do? I am lost! I am a sinner!

Then verses come to mind saying that Jesus receives sinners and loves them. Yes, this is true—but not about me, because I betrayed God. I acted not according to the spirit of love but according to the flesh. Yet when I remember other assurances of God’s love, hope for forgiveness appears. I kneel and begin to repent. At first I cannot find words, but gradually confidence in God’s acceptance fills my heart, and I receive forgiveness. Peace enters my heart, but a heavy residue of defeat remains within me in the form of painful memories of my fall. I do not know what to do with this. I go, apologize, and ask forgiveness, but in response I hear reproaches. Yet I remain silent, acknowledging my guilt.

Life continues. I turn to Jesus again and ask for greater love. Receiving it, I go on the offensive. Ahead I see the same rake lying in my path, and now I behave more cautiously. I declare my sincere feelings and believe in their genuineness and constancy, but in response I receive a verbal slap and retreat. I plan new battle tactics and attack from another direction. It seems that I have succeeded in winning, and at last I taste the fruit of my love, rejoicing that I have conquered the impregnable fortress. I thank God in prayer and prepare to strengthen the position I have gained. The joy of victory gives me confidence, and step by step I move toward my wife’s heart in order to possess it completely. At this moment, the most unexpected thing happens. I receive a “blow below the belt,” and in my powerlessness I fall facedown in despair and pain. I do not understand what is happening, because I love. Everything goes dark before my eyes; the rake draws nearer and nearer, and I am ready to lose control and step upon it again. But with the last of my strength, I call upon the Name of Jesus and ask Him for love. Peace enters my heart. I see the hand of further accusations raised above me, but I no longer hide from them, preferring to remain silent. A storm of indignation crashes down upon me, and I remain silent.

Suddenly I remember how Jesus was persecuted for His goodness, how He was beaten for His love, and how those Hands that had done so much good were nailed to the cross. The picture becomes clear, and new light illuminates my mind. I suddenly understand what love means and how the world treats it. I see the manifestation of the same evil spirit toward me. No longer surprised by anything, I understand what awaits me in return for my love and repent of my naive expectations. Now my war takes a completely different course. I rebuild all my positions, destroy old stereotypes, remove my rose-colored glasses, and prepare for battle. I understand that I am no better than Jesus and that if He was persecuted, I will be persecuted as well. I read the Bible and see the assurance that from now on I have very many enemies—the whole world and spiritual wickedness in high places. But now I am not afraid because the One Who has already overcome this world lives within me. Understanding what to expect, I ask Him to give me love.

I humble myself and decide to endure every attack. I no longer rely upon myself but upon God’s power. I ask Him to fill me with the Holy Spirit, and by faith I go out to war. I take the words of love as my weapons, put on the whole armor of God, and move forward.

The storm approaches and the collision is inevitable, but I build my house upon the Rock and do not fear trials.

I love. These words no longer sound self-confident. They proceed from the depth of my relationship with Christ. They rest upon God’s faithful Word. They accomplish the purpose for which they are spoken. Stones of mockery, unbelief, and accusation fly at me, and strangely enough, my most zealous enemies are the people closest to me. Yet I accept this challenge and decide to love. I empty the arsenal of my carnal memory and fill myself with love, tenderness, and compassion. My heart becomes prepared to help these poor people, and I pray for them.

I understand this truth: when I learn to love my wife perfectly, then I will be able to love everyone. How interesting and difficult all this is to understand, but this is how it is.

I look at happy families and rejoice that they have no struggle, that they are happy and live with honor and mutual respect. Why is everything different for me? Jesus asks whether I desire to learn something. I answer affirmatively. I desire it and understand that my path of learning belongs only to me. I must travel precisely this path, remaining faithful to the light sent to me and preserving the love entrusted to me.

1. Please read Matthew 10:34–36; Micah 7:5–6; and Romans 8:28 in the light of this lesson.

2. What did you understand from this lesson?

3. Are the members of your household truly your enemies?

4. Has the strategy of the enemy of the human soul been revealed to you?

5. In what way do those near us teach us love?

6. Do you hear a call to love in reproaches and criticism?

7. Do all things work together for our good?