Lesson 31. Gifts—A Language of Love

What we see around us, what we breathe, and what we are made of—all this is God’s gift to us. We have been given life, reason, will, and intellect. We have been granted freedom of choice along our path through life.

But the most beautiful Gift that God the Father has given us for all ages is His Beloved Son Jesus, Who chose to become our Savior from the power of sin and death. What are we to do with this Gift? Because of Jesus, our sinful world still exists. We have been given 6,000 years of earthly life so that during this period every person may make a decision by accepting or rejecting God’s way of salvation and healing.

And ahead of us awaits the most wonderful gift, which all people long to possess but which only the chosen will receive: Eternity; the Eternal God—the Father and the Son—in all Their fullness and Glory, Whom we will be able to see face to face while living forever; the fullness of the Holy Spirit; and the incorruptible joy of a holy, unending life. Eternal dwellings have been prepared for us as a gift in response to our choice of life with Jesus, and throughout endless ages Christ Himself will be our Husband, and we will be His bride.

All this invisible reality is now grasped by faith, but it will soon become visible reality. We all await these gifts and joyfully receive them even now, believing that they exist and that they are rightfully ours. We have earned none of the things listed above, but we know that all of them belong to us through our right of faith in Jesus Christ, because of the love of God, Who loves to give gifts.

Gifts are things for which we do not have to labor and which we do not need to earn. Often a gift is something unexpected and pleasant, long-awaited and wonderful in our life. Through a gift we can express our attitude toward a person, show how dear that person is to us, and demonstrate that we remember them.

But people are different, and gifts are different as well.

For many people, gifts are a language of love. Someone may perceive these words as expressing a consumer mentality, but a person who has this gift and speaks this language will always receive and appreciate another person’s attention. Such a person will see in it the highest expression of love and care. A gift can be a little key to a person’s heart. If I speak other languages of love, the language of gifts will seem strange and foreign to me. Yet it is worth learning, because people sometimes not only expect a gift from you but may also give one to you. When they give you something with all their heart, they will desire to place within that gift all their love and their longing to make your life more beautiful and better. And how will you receive it? Through indifference and failure to understand this language of love, you can break the heart of someone who dared to open it to you in their native language. But you can also win that heart if you know that it understands the language of gifts and loves to speak it. This becomes possible when you yourself know this language.

A gift does not necessarily have to be something purchased in a store. It may be a large or small token of attention, something made by hand, or something gathered in a field or garden. Money may also be given when someone is in need of it. Everything depends upon the place and circumstances. And people, too, are different.

For souls spoiled by abundance, who through excess have lost their sensitivity to this language of love, agape can put its whole self into preparing special gifts.

A soul cannot be bought with gifts; it needs the Bread of Life. It languishes in the prison of its sins and waits for someone to visit it and give it something genuine, true, and precious.

A person who speaks the language of gifts will very quickly understand how well I know this language. There are two forms of communication: receiving and giving. They always go together. One may give nothing, and everything may still be fine; but one may refuse to accept a gift or express indifference toward it and thereby grieve a friend who desired in this way to reveal all their love. Sometimes it is very difficult for us to accept something from others because of modesty, because we do not wish to deprive a friend, or because we do not want to be indebted. But here we need wisdom from above.

And gifts should not be confused with bribes. God condemns those who wait for or ask for bribes, as well as those who desire to give them. Today it is very easy to purchase another person’s conscience, and this opens many possibilities. A bribe often solves various problems quickly and efficiently. Laws are frequently written in ways that provoke people to take such actions by creating opportunities for them. But the Bible does not approve of this approach to solving problems.

God tests hearts and teaches them purity in relationships and holiness of motives.

Does God love gifts? What can I give Him? Can the One Who is Love and Who gives Himself receive something from me as well? I think His great heart responds very tenderly to everything I do for Him or for the sake of Jesus, and He watches very attentively to see what motive I place into a particular deed or gift. What I have received from His hand I return to Him. God awaits my love and understands it perfectly and without error in every language, in all its manifestations and expressions. And He Himself gives me everything I need, even when I am ungrateful and evil. That is Who He is. Love knows how to give gifts.

The same law of gifts operates among people according to the principle of reciprocity.

A heart that speaks the language of gifts waits for someone who can communicate with it in its native language, and it is ready to do everything for a person who speaks understandable words of love.

For many foreigners, this language of love may be the most difficult language of all. For the principle, “Oh, how willingly we give away what we ourselves do not need,” is recognized very quickly and is not accepted as an expression of love.

Have you ever tried, in a good sense and within Biblical boundaries, to give yourself as a gift? I have. But those to whom I gave myself proved to be foreigners: I was not accepted, and my gift was not wanted.

Gifts are not my native language of love, but I am learning to speak it. This helps me win friends who no longer believe that anyone will hear and understand them. In the anguish of loneliness, they give themselves something and rejoice in these small tokens of attention, modestly dreaming of meeting someone who will understand and notice them.

Love studies difficult languages and can express itself in any of them without difficulty.

And once a foreign language has been learned, you begin to see the beauty of this communication from within and discover the amazing world of an unknown country in which you were born and raised, but which you may later have left because you preferred other languages and other forms of communication.

Love brings to mind everything forgotten in childhood and teaches us to love in a language of love understandable to the human heart.

1. Please read John 3:16; Romans 6:23; and 1 John 5:11.

2. What kinds of gifts are described in Proverbs 17:8; 18:16; and 21:14? Should this be practiced?

3. How can you express your love to a person who speaks the language of gifts?

4. What can you give a friend when you have no money?

5. Do you like receiving gifts from poor people who live in need and do not have sufficient means?

6. What did you understand from this lesson?

7. Can every gift be an expression of your love?