Lesson 61. Love Does Not Grumble

One of the most widespread forms of pride, and one that receives the least attention, is a quarrelsome spirit. Like a cancerous tumor, it begins with small complaints and expressions of justified dissatisfaction, eventually depriving a person of immunity against the influence of sin. If I do not understand the full danger of the spirit of grumbling and allow it into my heart, a special gift develops within me—the ability to see and notice the mistakes and shortcomings of my neighbors—and a special “wisdom” to express aloud what I have seen. A quarrelsome spirit takes such strong possession of me that I cease paying attention to the resistance people offer in response to my attacks. A sense of being right and important arises in my heart, through which I become exalted in my own eyes.

But my grumbling is selective. It behaves very cautiously toward those who are stronger than I am, who have authority over me, or upon whom I depend financially. I learn to express my dissatisfaction very carefully toward such people. At the same time, I tell them about all my acquaintances, including members of my family, explaining what they are doing wrong and how they ought to act. I understand life better than anyone else and am ready to give wise counsel for every situation. I enjoy instructing people, especially regarding events that have already taken place, and giving them valuable directions concerning situations that have long since passed away. It is so pleasant to feel that I am right about everything and to have my own point of view—the most correct one—on every subject. I have friends with the same spirit, and together we discuss every event, beginning with what has happened in the family circle and ending with news from America. Together, we become experts on every issue in the world. And if I manage to create my own YouTube channel, I will be able to realize all my talents there and acquire hundreds of subscribers.

But at the same time, something strange takes place. The members of my family try to avoid me. They do not enjoy spending time with me. Often, they begin speaking rudely to me, fueling my desire to defend myself. My friends stop inviting me to visit and rarely come to my home. They do not even understand what they are losing by losing me.

The very terrible thing that my mind cannot comprehend takes place. My family falls apart. I am left alone.

A very long time ago, sin arose in Heaven. There was no reason for it to arise. A small dissatisfaction with God’s government and the established order grew into rebellion and brought division between heavenly beings who were family and close friends. It became impossible to live together in such a condition, so an irreversible separation took place from those whom one loved and who were very dear. No one except God understood the nature of rebellion and sin, while the arguments and accusations made against the Ruler of the universe seemed substantial enough that they could not simply be ignored. A small dissatisfaction grew into a war that produced division. The heavenly family inevitably fell apart, never to be reunited. When this happens, there are no winners and no joy over battles won. There is no triumph of victory. When one’s own children and people to whom one’s feelings are closely bound, and to whom one is deeply attached, perish, there is no happiness because they have left.

But a proud heart never grows tired of finding justification for its ambitions and its own supposed correctness.

Nevertheless, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. To be an adversary of God means to be on the devil’s side. This is a very dark prospect. There is no hope. But in order to silence somehow this oppressive feeling and the voice of conscience, I need to read the Bible and pray more, attend every spiritual gathering, and perform good deeds. Such behavior helps me greatly, because against the background of all my good deeds, my own sense of justice does not appear so bad. After all, I am completely immersed in the world of religion. And what convicting sermons are heard on YouTube channels! All the people for whom they were spoken must certainly listen to them. Then they will see their sins and repent, not through my eyes but through the eyes of others. Yet there are questions I do not understand. If the members of my family please me in everything and show absolute respect and obedience, I still find a multitude of shortcomings in their behavior and attitude toward life, and this irritates me greatly. I try to fight it, but I cannot. An explosion of emotion takes place, followed by a brief truce. Then I put on “rose-colored glasses” and notice nothing, but in that case everyone “climbs onto my shoulders,” lets their legs dangle, and calmly does whatever they want in my home. Therefore, I must once again take the reins of government into my own hands and show people their place in life. No one may be able to understand me, but without question I understand such matters better than others. I like this position very much and have no desire to surrender it.

Love does not vaunt itself. It respects another person’s opinion, even when that opinion appears weak and mistaken in its eyes. Love knows how to speak modestly about itself and its advantages while leaving the other person the right to make independent decisions and exercise freedom of choice.

Love does not grumble. It sees no point in expressing disagreement with a neighbor’s opinion in this way. When sin is not involved, love always finds a justification for any action, taking into account the person’s spiritual and physical development.

Once, when an adulterous woman was brought to Jesus so that they might hear His judgment upon her, He did not justify the sin. He condemned all who were guilty and dissatisfied, while at the same time making it clear that even in such a hopeless situation there was an opportunity for a better life, repentance, and the abandonment of sin. Jesus left everyone freedom of choice. Even the sinful woman was told: “Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.” What love for people who make mistakes, who are guilty, and who are sinful! This is exactly how agape acts. It gives an opportunity for something better and then steps aside to wait. Sometimes it must wait for a very long time, even an entire lifetime. At times, love never sees any changes or wise decisions. With pain in its heart, it accompanies friends who have died on their final journey, deeply grieving over the opportunities they missed, which will never be offered again.

Love offers life. It always draws people toward good, for it is itself the root and source of every good deed. It touches hardened hearts, allowing them to experience the sweetness of unconditional love, and then steps aside to wait until it is noticed and accepted. It waits—long and attentively.

“But godliness with contentment is great gain.” 1 Timothy 6:6. Contentment is the state of mind of a loving person. He has the water of life, and this fountain supplies every need of the soul. The enemy seeks an opening in the heart where he may sow seeds of dissatisfaction that will produce an evil harvest, but a loving heart does not accept such solutions to problems. Love does not vaunt itself, and grumbling is foreign to its nature. Love responds differently to life’s trials and finds counsel in the Holy Scriptures. This counsel helps it stand firm and overcome every temptation.

Love can do all things “through Christ which strengtheneth me.” God delivers the deceived soul from the nets of grumbling and dissatisfaction. His grace is sufficient to eradicate this sin. It is a painful process. It costs much suffering, but victory over this vice is extremely valuable and brings good fruit in the spirit of humility and meekness. “Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.” And love will gladly teach me this.

1. Please read James 5:9; Philippians 4:5; James 3:14, 16; Proverbs 19:13; 21:19; 25:24; 27:15; Titus 3:2; and 2 Timothy 2:24, and consider these verses in the light of our lesson.

2. What revelations did you receive while studying this subject?

3. What did you understand from this lesson?

4. How does grumbling affect the atmosphere within a family and a church?

5. How does the Lord respond to grumbling?

6. What remedy does Jesus have for this vice?

7. What does it mean to be content?