Lesson 69. Love Does Not Find Fault

Pride is one of those sins that blinds a person’s mind so thoroughly that he ceases to understand the essence of what is happening and begins to justify his actions. He believes that he stands on the side of justice while placing his personal interests and ambitions above everything else.

Through faultfinding, pride reveals itself especially clearly toward those who are under your authority, who love you tenderly, who depend upon you, who are weaker than you, who receive a salary from you, or whom you teach or raise. My true character is revealed precisely in how I treat such people. Pride will not hide out of modesty. Its manifestation requires no strength from God. It does not pray for God’s grace and is a very close friend of my carnal nature. It knows how to destroy human happiness instantly and deprive those close to me of the joy of life and every pleasant prospect. Pride successfully destroys the desire to study and work and “clips the wings” of creative people.

The statistics concerning broken families in our time testify to a catastrophe, which is very sad. Even if a family does not fall apart, under the influence of pride and the faultfinding present within it, the family may become a hell on earth.

How many churches have fallen into a sorrowful state of stagnation simply because among their members appeared people with a special gift: the ability to see the sins and mistakes of others and boldly tell them to their faces, forgetting tact, the distinctive way each person perceives things, and the fact that every brother and sister who makes a mistake has a tender soul that longs for love rather than condemnation.

Today, this so-called gift has acquired a special status. Gifted bloggers on YouTube channels boldly and mercilessly strike everyone who has stumbled or ceased to grow in the Lord. And God’s people drink this wine without understanding the source from which it comes.

My pride is very skillful at using feelings of guilt, obligation, and fear when I seek to instruct other people in an understanding of truth exactly as I understand it.

Sometimes a person realizes that the path of faultfinding and expressed dissatisfaction is quite harmful and bears no good fruit. But the spoken word has fulfilled its purpose, while pride is far from repentance and the acknowledgment of its mistakes. As a rule, when I express my attitude toward someone, I am prepared for objections, war, and my neighbor’s attempts to defend himself. Any justification he offers inflames my passions even more, and I am ready to go all the way in the struggle for truth, whatever it may cost me.

But the most interesting thing is that my faultfinding is quite selective and partial. It has “favorites” whom it does not touch. It remains entirely calm, does not express itself aloud, and does not even enter my mind when I communicate with those who are stronger than I am, who have authority over me, or who pay my salary. After all, if I find fault with the behavior of these people, I may face serious problems, and my position before those upon whom I depend may become far more difficult.

Fortunately, God does not leave me in such a wretched condition. He seeks to lead me out of it by offering a better way and instructing me through the example of Jesus’ life. How many disputes and expressions of discontent Christ heard among His disciples! And with what tenderness He taught them! He gave us all an unsurpassed example of how we should treat people and help them overcome their shortcomings. Jesus showed us what can drive out the destructive spirit of faultfinding.

Those who love me suffer most from my faultfinding. I understand that my family will forgive and endure everything, yet I feel unable to control myself. How many children’s hearts have received wounds that will remind them of themselves throughout life. Gratitude, praise, and admiration are very effective at resolving every difficulty in relationships and destroying faultfinding and irritation.

Let us try to imagine a faultfinding God. He sees and notices everything, even at the level of thought. Then He begins to reproach, nag, scold, and intimidate me. It is frightening to imagine, but I simply have no chance against God. If He were only to reveal His justice, I would be crushed by guilt and fear. To whom could I go then? If anyone has a right to find fault, it is certainly God. Yet He does not treat me that way. He teaches and raises me differently. God is patient with my mistakes and forgives my sins. He sees wonderful prospects in me and praises me for small successes and victories. It is so good and peaceful with Him. He will understand everything; He will not condemn me or shout at me. Despite all His hatred of sin, He loves me and constantly cares for me.

Love does not boast. There is no place for faultfinding in the Father’s love. If love desires to point out people’s mistakes, it does so very tactfully and tenderly, so as not to quench the smoldering flame or wound a person’s soul. Love delights in praising success. Love is thoughtful, and when it sees a problem in a neighbor, it immediately begins seeking the best solution and planning the best response.

Love finds a suitable alternative to every wrong action. It has a great many kind and proper phrases in its arsenal. Love can turn any mistake into an advantage, desiring to teach the person something and give him another chance. It is ready to pay another person’s debts and does so with joy.

Love knows who will strike it and when, and it does not avoid the encounter. But it does not respond in kind or in the same spirit. It continues to love even those who hurt it and find fault with it. It tenderly endures all things, believing that everything will pass and that something will change.

But if a person is not ready to repent and has no intention of changing, love simply waits patiently. It knows what reward people receive even in this earthly life, and it rejoices greatly when people seek and find it and live by it while abiding in fellowship with Christ.

Jesus gives His love to everyone who desires to live by it. He begins to teach and instruct everyone who enters this path, taking into account the student’s abilities and receptiveness. You will not hear a single reproach or instance of faultfinding from Jesus. He is a very wise Teacher. He gives Heavenly wisdom and knowledge to everyone who has enrolled in His school and continues studying there. His school has a starting point and begins with the first grade, but it never ends. It extends into Eternity, where we will continually explore the depths of love and the beauty of God’s wisdom.

God resisteth the proud, and He is unable to teach them anything. He loves such people as well, but while they remain on the other side of the barricades, there is little He can do for them. All that remains is to send them light and reproof through His servants and helpful books, and to wait—to wait a long time.

But a seeking soul does not wish to languish in the chains of its pride and begins to cry out for salvation. Then salvation comes. God acts and sets the deceived heart free, healing the damaged mind. The Lord gives something new, pure, and holy. And the love of Christ finds a dwelling place in the new heart and makes it a meeting place for the human soul and Jesus. There, united together, they become one and in this union continue to live and labor for the glory of God.

1. Please read Matthew 7:1–5; John 8:3–11; John 12:4–8; Matthew 23:24, 33–34; Luke 9:53–56; Genesis 37:11, 19–20; Romans 2:1–3; and Matthew 5:7 in the light of our lesson.

2. What was revealed to you in this lesson? What revelations did you receive?

3. From what source do faultfinding and condemnation come? What are they?

4. Why was Jesus grieved when He saw this spirit manifested in His disciples?

5. How can we avoid falling into the snare of this vice?

6. What should I do if I am irritated by the way my neighbor peels bananas from the wrong end? How should I correct him properly?

7. Are there people in your life who do many things incorrectly and provoke your indignation?

8. What should I do if I see this spirit within myself?