Lesson 116. I Love You

The expression ‘I love you’ is probably the most common in the world of advertising and the rarest when addressed to me personally. It is pleasant for me to realize that some seller has the most sincere feelings for me and wholeheartedly desires to make me happy, but to achieve this I simply lack his product. By acquiring it, I will prove to him that I love him too. This is how we love one another.

Cards and pictures bearing words of love are also very helpful. You send one, and then let the recipients guess what you mean. If it does not touch the heart, you can say that it was only a card. But if it affects and stirs the recipient’s mind, there are always ways to retreat, for I said nothing and put no meaning into those pictures; I merely shared something I liked.

But when I clothe my thoughts in words, they begin to accomplish amazing things in the listener’s heart. My mind begins to reshape itself according to what has been spoken. My thoughts are formed within the framework of the words I have uttered. My feelings begin to create within me the image of what was said, and my will begins to act according to what came out of my mouth.

My thinking influences my words, and the words I speak begin to shape my thinking. This is a law, and it works.

Can you say how often you hear words of love addressed to you—words that come from the heart, that carry truth within them, and that kindle an answering flame? If these words are spoken by a loving husband or wife, they become a beautiful rule that builds the family. But this phrase is often given no importance, and people try to replace it by fulfilling family responsibilities and duties.

Sometimes, in response to a declaration of love, you are asked instead to wash the dishes or put something away. And that little flame of love goes out in the routine of duties, rules, and obligations before it ever begins to burn brightly. Although it is possible that, for some, deeds are the language of love that their heart understands.

Nevertheless, the power of a word should not be diminished. Even the most practical person, for whom words are an empty sound, will correctly understand the expression ‘I hate you!’ when it is addressed to him in any tone. He will not argue that it is an empty, meaningless phrase that requires proof through deeds. Words of hatred, malice, and indignation leave us in no doubt, and we understand whom we are dealing with. After such expressions, words of love from the same source are simply not accepted. Even if the person has repented, it is very difficult to believe the good in him. But time heals.

And the question is: ‘Why am I so ready to believe evil and so doubtful of good?’

Building something beautiful requires a great deal of time, talent, resources, and energy. It may be built over many years and delight your heart with what has been achieved. But how much time is needed to destroy it? Mere seconds, and all your achievements and your whole life are turned into a heap of rubbish. Of course, a reinforced-concrete structure cannot easily be demolished with bare hands in a couple of seconds, but there are very fragile things that must not be handled roughly. They must be carefully protected from accidental or deliberate damage.

Our relationships are that fragile vase, fashioned by our joint efforts and passing through every process of treatment, polishing, and firing so that afterward it may delight our hearts and serve us throughout our lives and even throughout Eternal life. How quickly can this vase be broken? One stumble, and everything is shattered; then you sit and try to glue it back together.

Agape love has one very remarkable quality. It contains no evil and is constant in its inward goodness. It always loves, for it cannot be otherwise. In every relationship, it is unconditional and seeketh not her own.

For example, if I begin a friendship with someone and we even decide to love one another in a human, brotherly way, this desire brings us joy and draws us closer. But it has one condition: you give to me and I give to you, until you stumble or reach a crossroads of opinions. Then each person goes his own way. It is painful and sad, but such is life: the conditions of love were broken, and the relationship ended. When this same approach enters the formation of a family, divorce becomes a simple solution to complex problems.

Love is distinguished by its stability. It has a firm foundation and receives it from God. If this were not so, our world would long ago have been destroyed and laid waste by the Most High. But He is constant in His love toward people and gives blessings, warmth, and light to the good and to the evil. On this foundation, I can confidently plan my life. I know that the sun will shine tomorrow and that summer will not suddenly become winter, even if I become a bad person.

God’s love creates within me a firm foundation for building relationships. On my side, I construct a structure of reinforced concrete. And even if my counterpart stumbles or changes his attitude toward me, I will remain faithful on my side and will act not according to circumstances or feelings, but according to the principle established in love—to be constant in it.

An attitude of love may change its form, but it will remain. For example, if I delight in giving flowers to someone I love, but that person begins to strike me in the face with them and throw them into the rubbish bin, I simply stop giving flowers and seek another way to express love. When another bouquet is expected as a gift, I modestly remain silent and do nothing, taking care of my face and considering that we already have enough rubbish in the house without buying more.

‘I love you’ are very good words. They give God an opportunity to place His love within me. And one day, having made this decision, I step onto the rails of the path that Jesus has already laid. I begin to know and explore for myself a new world of discoveries and opportunities. My words form beautiful feelings within me. By these words, I show the unseen world my plan for my life and the lofty goals I have set for myself and will now pursue with God’s help. This is not merely a beautiful phrase, but a goal toward which I have decided to go. God is pleased to hear of such lofty goals, and He understands how much work He will have to do in my life so that I may understand what I have released from within myself and where such a decision has led me. The Lord knows that a large part of His boundless ocean of love will now be directed into my life to sustain me in difficult hours of trial and to build my relationships. The joy of attaining the goal will be so great that every cost will seem insignificant. And God begins to act.

Now imagine what Heaven experiences when it hears my words of love, concentrates upon bringing them to fulfilment in my life, and sees that they were spoken only to satisfy my fleshly desires or selfish interests. What sorrow! God’s love has been brought into reproach. It has been thrown onto the rubbish heap of my passions! Those who trusted are disappointed. God is dishonoured.

And my words of love influence not only me, but also those to whom they are spoken. This influence is immense. For God Himself conveys their true meaning to the listeners’ minds and brings the declaration of my lips to fulfilment, accomplishing the purpose for which the words were spoken. The fact that they are still only in the process of growing does not diminish their power.

1. What did you understand from this lesson? It would be interesting to know.

2. Do you often hear words of love addressed to you?

3. Are there people in your life whom you love and tell that you love them?

4. How do words of love spoken personally to you affect you?

5. What does the expression ‘I love you’ mean to you?

6. Can a declaration of love be spoken without understanding the meaning of the words?

7. What kind of love do you put into a declaration of love to someone close to you?

8. Please read Isaiah 44:26; James 1:19; Matthew 12:37; Luke 22:47–48; and Romans 12:9–10 in the light of our lesson.