Lesson 117. Love for Oneself

I do not think there is anyone who does not know the words from Matthew 22:39: ‘Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.’ When I first heard this rule, I understood that I needed to love my neighbour. When I decided to understand what this commandment meant, I saw that it contained the explanation ‘as thyself.’ I liked this very much. But I could not understand what it meant. I do not think I am alone in this.

The very first conclusion I drew was that I should consider myself very good and righteous and love myself for it. My love for my neighbours would then be a consequence of this very love for myself. I am ashamed to admit it, but I lost my neighbours very quickly and could not understand what was wrong.

Self-love is not a very good character trait. It drives all a person’s friends away without adding new ones. But as I studied the Bible and the spiritual works of other writers, I began to understand the plan of salvation and God’s expectations of me more clearly. The Lord did not leave me in the darkness of my own ideas, but led me along His path. I simply understood that I did not know what it meant to love myself, so I stopped thinking about it and began thinking about Christ.

By beholding Jesus, I began to change under the influence of God’s grace. And my love for the Lord grew together with me. The book The Desire of Ages, which tells of the life of Jesus and reveals the beautiful image of God in my Saviour, helped me greatly. I have already read this book eighteen times, and I intend to continue reading it. Studying God’s character is so interesting! Through this comes a special knowledge of His love. I began comparing myself with Him and understood that I had a great deal to learn.

After many years, when God revealed to me the mystery of His love and began teaching me to abide in it, I returned once more to the question of loving myself. This time, I found the answer in the life of Jesus.

Without Christ, all my love for myself will turn into self-admiration, self-love, and the pride of life. At the same time, I will believe that I love myself and, on that basis, will show my attitude toward my neighbour. But it does not work that way.

The life of Jesus is the very best example of love for oneself. Jesus is the unsurpassed standard to imitate, and through His example I began to understand so clearly what it means to love oneself. Jesus loves Himself more than anything in the world. And this love is so great that He understood that He simply could not live without us. His heart cannot find rest as long as even one sinner exists in the Universe. Jesus desires to save that soul deceived by sin so that the joy of salvation may once again fill His heart.

The Lord decided to perform the boldest deed and pay the highest price for my sins in order to give me an opportunity to accept this Salvation and live eternally with Him.

While living in a human body, Jesus understood that care for His personal godliness was very important, for in this the highest love for Himself as a human being is manifested. The true image designed by the Creator is restored through respectful attention to one’s spiritual and physical needs.

Jesus’ love for Himself moved Him to pray very much and to remain in constant communion with the Father. He did not allow Himself to interrupt this connection, for in it lay His special strength. Love for Himself moved the Saviour to care continually for His neighbours and share with them what He received from the Father. It brought Him such joy to pass on the many blessings He possessed in abundance. Seeing the embodiment of all God’s laws within Himself, Jesus knew how to present them correctly to others as well. By His own example, He showed the whole world what it means to love one’s neighbour as oneself. This was not a dry theory about something abstract, but truth in its pure form, passing through the spotless heart of our Lord and revealed to us in His life.

Love for Himself moved Christ to teach His disciples the knowledge of the Father and the law that He possessed in an undistorted form. And He simply transferred this love for Himself to them. He taught them also to love their neighbours as they loved themselves, and afterward He added that they should love as He had loved them.

It was love for Himself that moved Christ to go to the cross, for He understood that He alone could save fallen people from the sentence of eternal death. He imagined Himself in the place of a hopeless sinner who knew no way out of the prison of sin, and how good He would feel if someone led Him out of it. Then He applied this picture to Himself and decided to do good for me, imagining how it would gladden His heart if He were in my place. This is exactly how love acts.

The Golden Rule, that I should do to others as I would have them do to me, flows so naturally from a loving heart that it requires no special effort. My love for myself, taken from the example of Jesus’ love, shows me very clearly what may be pleasant to my neighbour, because it is pleasant to me as well.

I would very much like someone to pray for me, and therefore I gladly pray for my neighbours, knowing that the thought that someone cares for them in this way will be very pleasant to them.

I would very much like someone to support me and share his abundance, or something I lack, when I am in physical need. And as I recognize this desire of mine, I become such a person for those in need.

When my soul is heavily burdened and darkness envelops my mind, I would very much like one of my neighbours to notice this and support me in a difficult moment of life. Understanding this, I go and find people in such a condition and begin to comfort and support them as I would want to be supported.

I dream of being needed and useful to someone, and how good it would be if someone told me so. But one can dream this way throughout life and never receive anything. Therefore, I go and become such a person for my neighbour. I try to convince him that he is dear to me and that I need him, and perhaps in this way I give him great pleasure, because I desire the same myself.

Having God’s love and seeing its influence upon me and those around me, I would so like to meet a person led by the same love, become his friend, and hear from him words of love that come from a pure heart. This would probably be so joyful. Anticipating this joy in other people, I become such a person for them. I speak words of love to them, make them my lifelong friends, and think about how I might bring still greater joy to their hearts so that their lives may become even more beautiful. And my love for myself moves me to treat them exactly as I would want them to treat me.

And this is not a one-sided game. Very many people respond to my actions and allow me to do them good, and then they themselves begin to respond in the same way.

My joy is no longer that my dream has come true and someone has loved me, but that I understand what happiness a person experiences when he allows God’s love to pass through his heart and pour into his life. The awareness of my neighbour’s happiness also fills my heart with special joy and gratitude for his happiness in loving me.

For this is the essence of the commandment of love: by loving, I become happy, and when I see my friend’s love toward me, I imagine how happy he is. His happiness brings me great joy, and my happiness brings joy to him.

1. What did you learn from this lesson today?

2. Why does love for one’s neighbour begin with love for oneself?

3. How do you understand the expression ‘love yourself’? What does it mean?

4. Can you love your neighbour without loving yourself?

5. How does self-love differ from love for oneself?

6. Why is it so important to love your neighbour as yourself?

7. Does Jesus love Himself? How is this manifested?

8. Please read Leviticus 19:18; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14; James 2:8–10; and Ephesians 5:28–30 in the light of our lesson.