Lesson 118. How Do I Love Myself?

Love for one’s neighbour begins with love for oneself. Both kinds of love have the same name and come from the same Source of grace. In either case, I need strength from above to overcome the inclinations of the flesh and unite my will with God’s will.

Please do not confuse the expression ‘love for oneself’ with ‘self-love.’ These are two different concepts, and their qualities are completely opposite. They differ from each other as light differs from darkness.

I must understand what is taking place in my heart and keep my feelings, desires, and instincts under the control of my will, reason, and intellect. Without constant communion with God, this is impossible.

When I ask for love, the cleansing of my heart from sin begins—from the power that tried to control my thoughts and feelings, turning me into a hardened, self-loving egoist. But God’s love has its own plans for my mind: it inscribes the laws of Heaven upon my heart. Through my prayers for a changed heart and the gift of love, God receives from me the authority to inscribe His law upon the tables of my heart. And when this law lives within me, it becomes a great joy for me to keep it. Love for oneself is manifested in obedience to God. I begin to love myself as God’s son, born for Eternal life, so that here on Earth I may allow God’s Spirit to make of me what the Lord Himself intended. I see how dangerous sin is to my soul and how it cools my love for myself and plants seeds of selfishness in my heart; therefore, with all my strength I fight every manifestation of evil in my life.

The very first step in loving myself is faith in Jesus as my personal Saviour and accepting Him into my heart as my Lord. The process of restoring God’s design for me begins. After this step, I begin learning in the school of Christ the truths set forth in Holy Scripture. The formation of my character proceeds according to God’s plan.

I begin to grow like a child, learning the spiritual advantages of life with Christ. My love and respect for myself grow together with me.

But then the moment comes when I have already learned much and have become like all my brothers and sisters. Together we do works, conduct programs, and carry out various ministries, and I could stop growing and simply do what everyone else does. But God leads me into the dark forest of the soul in order to cleanse me further and, after leading me through the darkness of the heart, to teach me new truths hidden from everyone. They are called love, happiness, and friendship.

All these treasures of God are available to those who desire to possess them. They are offered to me by the Lord Himself so that my love may become perfect. But they do not lie on the surface. This is a hidden treasure which, like a mineral deposit, must be sought and found; the whole field must be bought, and all the riches taken from the depths of God’s love and wisdom must be made one’s own.

The love prepared for me by God from the beginning of creation becomes mine when I begin to thirst for it, ask for it, and seek it. God reveals to me this great mystery of godliness and the regeneration of my heart. Love heals all my wounds, makes my soul pure, and reveals within me the beauty of God’s character.

I am learning to love myself and my neighbour as myself. I understand that my soul is very precious to God and that I must care first of all for its purity and beauty. It must be spotless, cheerful, happy, and friendly, for this is what God desires to see. Then He will be able to regard it as holy, a peculiar possession, dedicated to conveying God’s love to this world. For what shall it profit me if I gain the whole world and lose my own soul? Or what shall I give in exchange for my soul? But when it is hidden in God’s love and represents that love to this world, then even small victories and gains become very weighty and significant.

Loving myself, I will never stoop to hating someone for his evil attitude or conduct toward me. My love for myself will never allow me to take up a reproach against my neighbour or say anything about him that would demean him in the eyes of other people. I will never take such a risk with my soul as to begin a new day without prayer and without committing my plans to God.

My love for my soul teaches me to care for my personal salvation, my spiritual transformation, and my growth in Jesus. It does not even permit the thought that God’s Law need not be kept, or that one may live according to human commandments, following worldly traditions and rules that have no biblical foundation.

God’s love teaches me to love myself and my soul. And the best and most successful education in this school is to cleave to Christ with all my soul, mind, and understanding, becoming so closely united with Him in friendship that we become one. And love knows how to accomplish this.

But my love for myself does not stop with me. It draws me into service to my neighbours. It cannot hide God’s blessings and make them mine alone. The higher it raises me in the sight of Heaven, the more opportunities for serving my neighbours open before me. I understand that other people need my service to them, and I seek opportunities to render it.

As I study the laws of happiness and experience their power in my life, I understand that they also operate in the lives of my neighbours. And I want to give those around me what gladdens my own heart. But I cannot do good for others if they do not desire it. God does not permit me to force His blessings upon people against their will.

I remember an occasion when I met a homeless man who walked the streets laden with bags containing his possessions. I had breakfast with me and offered him my sandwich, which he gladly ate at once. I asked whether he had any food for later, and he said he did not. I took out a banknote to give him, but he recoiled from me in horror, shouting, ‘I don’t want any money!’ and clutched his bags in his arms. I tried to explain that it was for food, but he would not agree under any circumstances. We parted.

Not everyone wants to live with God. Not everyone will accept salvation. It is especially painful to understand that these ‘not everyone’ are members of your own family. And although you possess all the treasures of Heaven, you can give them nothing from these treasures except a small sandwich to meet a momentary need. And the souls of your loved ones become established in sin and pass from this life forever without ever receiving salvation.

But love teaches me to conduct myself properly and to love my neighbours as myself. And I decide that if they have chosen the right to die, I will pray for their conversion and make their lives as happy as lies within my power. But we understand happiness differently. My happiness rests upon Christ and His values; theirs is in this world. And I am not always accepted with my joy. What can I give those who live according to the flesh? Nevertheless, I try to make their lives more interesting, for this is the only thing they have in this world, since they desire to live here for their own pleasure. They do not need Eternity; love does not bring them joy. How can they be helped? At times imagination fails me. All that remains is to perform my duty, but to perform it with love while dreaming of a miracle. Sometimes miracles happen.

Love thinketh no evil and has no evil in its heart.

1. What interesting things did you learn from this lesson?

2. Why is constant communion with God necessary in order to preserve love for oneself?

3. What actions must a sinner take in order to receive God’s love?

4. What subsequently happens to a person when he accepts Jesus as his Saviour?

5. What qualities are necessary in order to unearth the ‘mineral deposit’?

6. How can my love for myself be manifested in my relationships with other people? And what is important to remember when showing love to my neighbours?

7. Please read Jeremiah 31:33–34; Ezekiel 36:27; Exodus 20:1–17; John 15:10–12; 1 John 2:9–10; 3:14–15; 3:23–24; Romans 7:4–6; and 2 Corinthians 3:6 in the light of our lesson.