Lesson 124. How Long Should We Love?

We are surrounded by people who have different characteristics, mentalities, character types, religious beliefs, and interests in life. From among them, we choose those with whom we desire closer relationships, business relationships with some, and no communication with others. Some arouse our sympathy, our soul is drawn to some, and we want to keep away from others.

Along this path of life, I come to know God and turn my attention to God’s agape love, understanding that it must somehow become mine and manifest itself through my human nature. I accept God’s plan for learning about and receiving this gift, and I begin to love. As I study the laws of agape, I immerse myself in its practical application and try to understand how fully it can be manifested through me.

I myself am a living person, with a heart capable of feeling and a mind capable of choosing. I am learning to make my choice correspond to God’s principles.

I dared to love my neighbours, chose specific people for this, told God of my desire to love them, and realized that this decision gives me courage to ask for strength from above to manifest agape. I began to act according to this gift, asking for it and living in harmony with it. At the same time, however, I observe my beloved neighbours and analyse our relationships. And within my mind, the mechanism of time is triggered, telling me that the period of love for this person has ended: he is far away, I have no contact with him, or he is not moving with me toward a friendly relationship. It is easy to love those who return your love, but what should be done with those who continually test or hate you? How long should I love these people? How should I treat them from now on?

These questions are not simple, for I understand that any wrong answer will make me a hypocrite in my own eyes or in the eyes of my neighbours, some of whom are only waiting for me to make a mistake so that they can point it out and accuse me.

Here it is very important to distinguish love as a principle from relationships as a choice. In love I have freedom from the power of sin, but this freedom does not make me a slave to love, deprived of the right to choose when, with whom, and how I will build relationships.

All the qualities of love are best found in Jesus—in His earthly life and in His attitude toward His neighbours. He is the living embodiment of perfect love.

Did He always love? Yes, it was a profound principle of His Divine nature. Did He love everyone? Yes, Jesus showed no partiality and respected every person’s choice, every level of society, and every type of person. He came to serve the world in order to save it. Only perfect love is capable of this. Was our Lord friends with everyone? Here we see that He refused friendship to no one, but neither did He keep beside Himself those who did not want to be with Him or walk with Him. Moreover, He sometimes asked even His disciples whether they too wished to leave Him, giving them freedom in their decision. He did not try to bring back those who left Him, although in the parable of the prodigal son He made it clear that the Father waits for all His wandering sons and is the first to run toward those who decide to return. Did Christ continue to love those who left Him? Yes, He could not treat people otherwise. And how was this love for enemies and betrayers expressed? Perhaps He prayed for them. But it is also true that He suffered very deeply when He saw people turn away from the Source of life and light and depart into darkness.

All Holy Scripture speaks of how God suffers because of people who are perishing, especially those whom He has chosen. The Lord desires their repentance and return to Him.

But in choosing His disciples, Jesus was very selective. Even from among the twelve chosen ones, He sometimes singled out three to receive special revelations and blessings. Did He love the others at the same time? Yes, His love was constant, but with His friends He shared special mysteries and revelations of His that we will never even learn. An example of this is that not all the apostles left us their accounts of Christ’s life, and those we do have are rather brief, although profound in content.

The life of Jesus also teaches me to be selective in relationships while maintaining the deep principle of treating people rightly in love.

It is written in 1 Corinthians 13:8: ‘Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.’ This means that once love begins in my life, it never ends. It may not have existed in the past, but having become part of me, it has replaced what is temporary and human and has become a component of my life forever. God does not give me this gift for a short time or for a trial period. Love is given once and forever. Yet if my freedom of choice directs my soul toward other sources of influence and other ways of solving problems, iniquity can cause my love to grow cold in this world of sin.

With all the constancy of love as a power from God, we must also take into account the existence of the persuasive power of humanity’s enemy, who tries to impose his views and values. And woe unto me if I begin listening to him.

For example, there is a science of the soul—psychology—which has discovered patterns of human behaviour and reactions under various influences upon the psyche. And these patterns work. But even the boldest professionals in this field can tell you that God’s love has its own laws and power, which neutralize many psychological processes known to them and operate independently of their ideas. The realm of miracles does not belong to science, which requires sound laws and explanations. But a miracle takes place, and love resurrects what ought to be dead and never live again. And no one can explain what happened. What law of this world can give us an understanding of how Lazarus or Christ Himself was resurrected? The world is powerless to explain it. Or consider an instantaneous healing from a disease or a harmful habit. To what rule does this correspond?

Love is a great mystery revealed by God to the seeking soul.

How long should we love? I think the correct answer is: ‘As long as you intend to live.’ Life with God, in the knowledge of Him and with faith in Jesus, is called Eternal life and is given by the Most High when one is born again of the Holy Ghost. It is bestowed forever, never to end. In this earthly life it is conditional, depending upon my choice; but when Eternity comes, it will become unconditional, for there will no longer be temptations to lose it. Now we are proving to the whole Universe that we are prepared to die rather than sin, and would rather suffer than lose God from our lives. On the new Earth there will be no tree of the knowledge of good and evil; even now we choose to keep far away from it.

As I study the laws of love, I learn the rules of Eternal life so that I may live by them and make decisions according to them at the present time.

If I have chosen to love someone and have declared it aloud, Heaven records this in its books and grants me strength for such an undertaking. It is expected of me that this love will never pass away, but that I will ask for strength and wisdom in applying it. Humanly speaking, I may become tired and weary, but God has promised to strengthen me and give me power. In close relationships and friendship I may choose, but in love I make a choice forever—and therein lies its strength.

1. What interesting things did you notice for yourself in this lesson?

2. What decision does God expect from you concerning those close to you?

3. How do you treat those who do not accept you? If you love them, how is this manifested?

4. How does love as a principle differ from love expressed through relationships?

5. Does Jesus have ‘favourites’? How long should we love those who do not love us? Is there a time limit?

6. What does Heaven expect from me when I have expressed aloud my desire to love people?

7. Please read Matthew 5:44–46; 18:21–22; Luke 15:11–24; 22:48; John 13:1; 6:66–68; Mark 14:27–28; and 9:2–3 in the light of our lesson.