Lesson 128. Friendliness

There was a time in my life when I read the verse in Proverbs 18:24: ‘A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother,’ and tried to understand what it meant to be friendly.

I knew how to be cheerful and funny, how to perform, and how to achieve certain personal goals. I could even quickly become acquainted with people and gain their trust, and then lose it all because of my ambitious character or religious intolerance. As a result, many of my friends kept their distance from me and tactfully avoided communicating with me.

I read many books about friendship and saw it portrayed in films. And I always dreamed of having many true friends who would be with me throughout my life.

But something was always wrong. For some I was too young, for others too old; some had no time for me, while others simply found me uninteresting. I saw all this, so I did not wish to impose myself upon those who did not need me.

The residents of western Germany have a distinctive trait. They build their lives and circle of communication within their families. And they let no one into this circle. Each person lives independently, in his own little world, without interfering with the lives of others or taking an interest in them. The influence of such an attitude is noticeable even in the church.

At one period in my Christian life, I became acquainted with people who, in my view, were doing something for God, and I wanted to be friends with them. I began supporting them, communicating with them, and taking part in their missionary work. We spent time talking about how much sin surrounded us and how repulsive it was to God. And our group was quite united within the bounds of our ministry. But somewhere in my soul, I understood that it was conditional. As long as you are with us, you are our friend. At one point, I decided not to support this movement with my funds, and as a result a breach occurred in our relationship, after which it ended completely.

And I understood that I had simply been left alone in this large Christian world. Those who knew me considered me divisive and were afraid to be friends with me. And I did not know where to look for new friends.

But I had read that God has a faithful remnant, that there are those who live in obedience and love one another. This was very interesting. I understood that friendship ought to exist, but I did not see it around me. What benefit was it to me that some people were friends with one another but had no interest in me? All of this was foreign to me. By that time, I had already been in the church for fourteen years and had come to complete loneliness. And I did not know where to go next. I understood the truth and understood the teaching, but I did not see in my life the beauty of relationships about which so much is written.

And during this crisis in relationships, in 2009, I began asking God for love. He answered my request and began teaching me this science. It was as though I had been born anew. It was so interesting to compare my knowledge with these new feelings and to see absolute harmony and beauty in them. I discovered a new Friend—Jesus—with Whom I began spending much time in fellowship, and He began teaching and changing me. I longed so much to have many friends with whom I could share my new discoveries, but I did not know where to find them.

Then, through some people, the Lord gave me a disc containing lectures by medical missionaries on the subject ‘The Beautiful Way.’ I listened and could not believe my ears. I had read much about how God has people who live in the light of His reforms and at the same time love one another, and I wanted so much to see such a people. And here, it turned out, were such people. But they were far away, in Ukraine, and I decided to go there. I learned that they would hold a camp meeting in 2010, registered, and began preparing. I had a goal: to reach the ‘Our Home’ sanatorium and see true Christians with my own eyes. I began gathering information about these people. I was warned that they were very closed and let no one into their community. But I thought that even if they did not accept me, I would at least look at them.

I invited a friend to come with me, and we set out. The bus dropped us off at the turn toward Novi Obikhody and drove away. At that time, two sisters from the sanatorium arrived and were supposed to receive something from someone, but they did not receive it. They were upset and did not even look at us. The first impression was interesting. Then a car came for us, and I arrived at a special place where I began observing everything very carefully. I started meeting people, and my love was with me, but I did not yet know how it worked, nor did I try to apply it in all its strength; indeed, I did not know how. It was already doing its work, but I was not yet aware of it. As a result, I became acquainted with everyone I possibly could and studied this entire structure. I was very happy to have come to such a wonderful place.

Missionaries from Russia and throughout Ukraine came to the camp meeting and shared their experiences and needs. This also made an impression on my mind. I received great inspiration from that journey.

The Lord gave me many new friends, and I rejoiced that such changes had taken place in my life.

And the ‘closed community’ opened itself to me, and I became one of them, which was a joy to realize.

But love draws me toward new discoveries, and I decided to go further.

The Lord revealed a new page in my life, and I began reflecting on friendship, its depth, its influence, what it is for me, and what it means to be friendly. And the love of Jesus gave me all these qualities; only certain conditions were needed for them to unfold before my eyes.

Limitless possibilities opened before me, and the further I advanced in this science of love and friendship, the more interesting it became to try something and receive amazing results.

At one point, I decided to become a friend to all my friends and always to remain one. But I wanted to conduct an experiment, which I will describe in the next lesson. This experiment helped me discover and understand the laws of friendship and see the beauty of this phenomenon.

The Lord began revealing to me the depth of friendly relationships, and I saw how closely love and friendship must be intertwined in the Christian family of the last days. This is so important.

If my love finds a response in the heart of my brother or sister but does not lead us to friendship, then this is not entirely right, and something in such a relationship needs to be reconsidered.

If our friendship is conditional, sooner or later it will end. For conditionality has no foundation; it has only boundaries that should not be violated.

Unconditional friendship is a decision of my heart that depends on no one, but only on how ready I am to be such a friend. Yet I have no strength to love and befriend unconditionally; Christ has this strength, and therefore I must always ask for it. And the Lord gives, and gives far more than I can imagine.

The gift of friendliness includes the influence of the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit. Without Him, it is simply impossible to convince a stranger that you are his friend who loves at all times. But my friendship toward those who are my family in the faith is part of God’s plan, and therefore I can always count on help from above in this matter.

Jesus is the Best Friend. And He desires to see His image in me as I interact with my neighbours. I will not disappoint Him; I will love and become a friend—and, if possible, the best one.

1. What special thought did you like in this lesson?

2. What prevents people from being friends?

3. Do you believe in true friendship? What is it in your understanding?

4. What role do you think Jesus plays in our relationships?

5. What is necessary for unconditional friendship, and how can it be obtained?

6. What is God’s plan for you in the light of this lesson?

7. Please read John 15:14; 17:21; Daniel 9:23; 1 Samuel 19:1, 4; Zephaniah 2:3; 1 John 3:16; and Acts 2:45–47 in the light of our lesson.