Lesson 129. Friendship

Friendship has always seemed to me something very right and good. I did not have the courage simply to call someone a friend, because I understood that an appropriate relationship must stand behind this name.

For example, a companion, acquaintance, associate, colleague, neighbour, or fellow worker—all these are good people, but they cannot be called friends. I may communicate with some of them more often and have a closer relationship with them than with friends, but they do not have the status that signifies that a person occupies a special place in the heart.

When I attended the camp meeting in Novi Obikhody in 2010, I noticed that during meals I sat at a table with the same people. When we eat, we have a very good opportunity to become better acquainted and talk about any subject. During my first trip, I had no plans for this gathering, but I noticed that the atmosphere of the meeting and the presence of the Holy Spirit disposed our hearts and opened them to closer relationships. Because of this, it was possible very quickly to become close to strangers and have relationships of trust. And the common table made us like family simply because for an hour and a half each day we had the opportunity to talk about various subjects. It was such a blessing! This interaction united us into a kind of group of like-minded people, and we became friends because it was pleasing to God. He took part in our fellowship. I registered for the following year, planning to visit this place again.

When I returned home, I began reflecting on what I had seen and experienced. I liked such gatherings very much and decided to conduct an experiment in purposefully gaining friends. I knew that next time I would once again sit at a table with strangers, and I intended to become their friend. I understood that this should not be merely a name, but a decision of my heart, my choice, and a definite status that would open my heart to a special relationship with those whose friend I had decided to become, forever joining my life to theirs in this capacity. In my understanding, friendship is something unconditional and stable, and it was precisely upon this understanding that I decided to build relationships with those whom the Lord would send to my dining table.

And I began praying for these people. A struggle began in my heart. How many fears and doubts came crashing down upon me! What if; suppose; why is this necessary? Live peacefully! These and other thoughts crowded very agreeably into my mind. But I decided to move toward the goal and see what would happen. I asked for love and friendship toward people whom I did not yet know and could not even picture.

Then the day came. I arrived again at the ‘Our Home’ sanatorium, registered for table thirteen, and decided to press on to victory. I came to the meal. My future friends were sitting there. I greeted them and began my speech: ‘You are the answer to my prayer for you. I have decided to become your friend, and you have no chance of escaping this fate. This is my decision, and it is firm and unchanging. It does not depend on what you decide . . .’ And I continued speaking in the same spirit and direction.

If only you could have seen those faces. They displayed a mixture of surprise, outrage, indignation, bewilderment, and alienation. I understood that I had begun another foolish venture, but there was no turning back. It is not my way to change my decisions and retreat. During those days, I heard and saw all kinds of things directed at me. The Lord sent me not merely soft and fluffy friends, but the prickliest hedgehogs in the world. It is true that one sister, Veronika, shone like a sunflower from the very beginning of our acquaintance and listened to me with pleasure. Yet she remained silent. And thus began a seminar on friendship. During every meal, I spoke about how wonderful it was to have such a friend and how our relationship would bring us joy throughout Eternity. In response, I heard smirks, requests to be quiet, and declarations that I would not succeed. But every evening I prayed and asked Jesus to give me these people forever and to open their hearts to our friendship. A severe struggle was taking place in my soul, but I decided to go all the way and not surrender my position. One day passed, then a second and a third. I preached about love and friendship, but nothing changed. I felt like a strange person, but I continued giving myself. Then, on the fourth day, my friends from the sanatorium invited me to have lunch with them. It was as though I had entered another world: smiles, joy, friendliness, and pleasant fellowship. But in the evening, I went to war at my own table to continue the battle. I sat down, ate, remained silent, and thought about how to advance further. Then they asked me, ‘Where did you disappear to, our friend? We were lonely without you.’ And then something unusual began. My friends began opening up one after another. It was as though a dam had burst. Smiles appeared on their faces, and we began to become better acquainted. And I began occupying the conquered territories and planting upon them the banner of love and friendship, because I knew that we would soon part, but the banners of the victor would leave together with my friends.

How wonderful it was to experience the birth of new close relationships, to enter open hearts, and to bring these people the joy of my love and friendship while respecting their freedom and taking their wishes into account. I had never imagined that such a thing was possible or how many blessings this friendship would bring to us all.

I will say that to this day we remain close friends, that this relationship has not fallen apart but remains strong. My heart is set on constancy in this matter, although it is not always possible to remain in continuous communication, and we do not meet often. But Eternity lies ahead of us, where we will continue our friendship and come to know one another still more closely, and nothing will ever separate us again.

It was also interesting that before this trip, the sister Veronika, who had smiled at me from the very beginning, had prayed that the Lord would send friends to her husband, Oleg. And the Lord answered our prayers and brought us together.

This experience opened a new page in my life and revealed that interesting path to people’s hearts of which I had not known before. Now I understand perfectly what it means ‘to shew oneself friendly’ and how many friends appear in my life. And every time I begin this war to capture new people, it always ends with new friends in my heart. It is so interesting! It is so wonderful! And these people will bring me joy throughout Eternity. For there, the eternal seal of God’s love will already rest upon our relationships. It is already present here, but freedom gives a friend the right unilaterally to destroy this connection. In Eternity, however, this will not happen.

Being a friend is God’s plan for each of us. And it is worth learning. For unconditional love toward people brings me to understand that our relationships must be made lawful and given lifelong status. And friendship makes them right forever.

Friendship in Christ differs from worldly friendship, although it has much in common with it and is even called by the same name. But it is better and stronger because it is unconditional and filled with love and deep heartfelt affection. It does not appear by itself. It must be earnestly requested, studied, and tenderly preserved in the heart, because unconditionality requires no small amount of spiritual effort and victories over oneself.

And the life of Jesus is the very best example of friendship. He is the best and faithful Friend, Who knows how to love and be a friend without any conditions. And the Lord desires to teach each of us this.

1. What new things did you learn from this lesson?

2. What is friendship in your understanding? Why is it needed?

3. Should we pray to Jesus and ask Him for friends?

4. Do you have any experience of ‘capturing friends’? Please share it.

5. What is necessary in order to learn how to be a friend?

6. How does worldly friendship differ from friendship in Christ?

7. Please read John 15:5; Proverbs 18:24; 19:11; 22:11; 25:17; 27:10, 17; Ecclesiastes 3:1, 6, 8; and 4:9–10 in the light of our lesson.