Lesson 132. The Best Friend

My understanding of friendship and love will always differ from how others see and imagine them. And this is right. After all, God Himself created us very different, and herein lies the special beauty of the human race. If I begin to declare that there are only two opinions—mine and the wrong one—then I will have serious problems communicating with people.

There is a distinctive feature in the human worldview. It lies in the diversity of views and tastes, which, when combined into an overall picture, helps us see many things comprehensively and from many sides.

Each of us perceives closeness differently, and when I think about who my close friend is, I need to consider which love language I use in communicating with him and how much love I invest in my friendship.

Love is the strongest glue that can bind the most different hearts into one whole. Even if our tastes and views are absolutely alike, I will still have my own opinion, different from the opinions of others.

If a million people were given the task of describing water to me without naming the word itself, I can say with confidence that they would all write correctly about the same thing, but among all these answers there would not be even two that were identical word for word.

There is a concept in the world: ‘Against whom shall we be friends?’ The world will always impose its own definition upon every blessing of God.

‘Tell me who your friend is, and I will tell you who you are.’ Can I be defined by my friend? There are patterns and influences for good or evil that my friends can exert upon me and I upon them. If I bring happiness, love, and friendship into a friend’s life, and he accepts this, then it is likely that I will have a stronger influence on him than he has on me.

It is written that evil communications corrupt good manners, and we are warned to avoid those who can spoil our character and teach us to do evil while calling it good. Such influence does take place, and the enemy of souls uses it. God does not call me to rebuild Babylon or construct a church on the Titanic. But God has a plan to save perishing people, and He desires that I actively participate in it.

For all time, God gave the world the very Best Friend to save it from the power of sin. The example of how Jesus loves and how kindly He treats those who hate and persecute Him will always be a model for me to follow. As I test His principles and the gift of agape in my life, I see how this influences me first of all and changes my character. When I become someone’s friend, I change. A transformation takes place in my life, and I understand that I need special new wisdom to communicate and build a relationship with a new person. And God gives it.

Love is amazing in that, like water, it completely fills the form of another person’s perception, without trying to change him but taking into account every feature of his character. It finds those elements in a friend’s soul which, through prolonged contact with it, soften, absorb its essence, and dissolve in it. They are transformed into something new. Water wears away stone. And love shapes the soul.

I am always amazed by Jesus’ love for us, for different people. He approaches a person and begins to communicate with him at the level of his intellect and perception. He respects the opinions of others so much that He never enters into an argument, but listens very attentively and then gently offers His point of view, observing the person’s reaction.

Jesus’ example in His attitude toward people always is and will be an ideal model for admiration and imitation. But my experiences and discoveries in love and friendship do not mean that they are the ultimate truth. I am a limited person who is completely dependent on God’s mercy and power, but who desires with all his might to participate in transforming the lives of other people for God’s glory.

If I dream of becoming someone’s most dependable friend and most loving brother and ask God for strength to do this, it does not mean that everyone must think and act in the same way. ‘Most’ in my understanding does not mean the only one, but one who differs from others. And I invest in this word the meaning of genuine and authentic. Perhaps I idealize many things, but I try to compare everything with Christ’s example. By loving as He loves, I grow, and my understanding grows as well.

Communion with Jesus transforms me. He shows me an example of how the best Friend in the world loves. And I try to act in the same way. Then I am able to see what God’s love accomplishes.

But without love, my friendship and attitude toward people will become a stumbling block to me, and my motive will reflect my human interests.

Love without friendship is possible. Love is the most proper attitude toward any person. But friendship without love is an entirely different product, unlike friendship with love. For example, if a person who lives according to the flesh studies the lesson about a close friend and decides to apply it in his life, this law will operate, and he will see a result. But where will it lead?

If I am driving a tank to capture enemy territory and know how to operate this machine, what will happen if my enemy gets into this tank? I do not think he will act according to my understanding, although the tank’s mechanism will obey the enemy as well.

Friendship is a very powerful offensive means in loving hands, but in a carnal understanding it is a very complex mechanism that continues to work, only in another direction. And afterward everyone, including God, is blamed for the irreparable destruction and grave consequences that have occurred.

Without love, my friendship is very dangerous. It has no firm foundation and can crack and collapse under any trial, burying trusting souls beneath it.

In this sense, Jesus is the very Best Friend. He will not fall, turn His weapon against His friends, betray, or disappoint. One can be friends with Him. He is strong and steadfast at all times and will withstand any trial, remaining just as tender and loving.

I can always compare myself with Jesus and bring my views into harmony with His standards. I can even repeat absolutely everything after Him without fear, but it is better to do all of this with love.

The enemy of souls desired to be like the Most High, but not in character—in strength and power. And he failed.

To be like Jesus does not mean having the same hairstyle and clothing, but studying His character and embodying these discoveries in my life.

For me, the example of true love and friendship is Christ’s attitude toward me. I discovered these principles, tried them in the lives of friends and different people, and saw that they work and carry blessings within them. And this is so amazing.

The greatest miracle in the entire universe is that I love. At times I do not believe that such a thing is possible, but I see all the strength and influence that are not mine; yet by right of the new birth I claim this strength for myself and make myself an instrument of God to convey this treasure to thirsty people in the world.

The Best Friend is Jesus Himself—the very best and most dependable Friend there can ever be. Therefore, forgive me, friends, but Jesus is better than you, and I am not ashamed to say so and do not intend to offend you by it. For it is He Who gives me friendship and love for you, so that you may be happy from such a touch.

1. What did you understand from this lesson?

2. What would friendship without love for a friend look like? Is it possible?

3. Is the question of friendship important with regard to my salvation?

4. How can I understand that Jesus is the very Best Friend?

5. Does Jesus consider me His friend?

6. How can I determine whether I am a friend of Heaven?

7. Please read Psalm 62:6–10; Matthew 18:11; 11:19; John 8:10–11, 15–16; 11:11, 43; 12:7; 20:27; 21:17; Luke 19:5; and Matthew 26:32 in the light of this lesson.