Lesson 137. A Loving Friend

And so I love and understand what this means. I do not seek my own, I am not proud or envious, and I always love. This is a very good condition of the soul. It fills life with meaning, happiness, and constant delight; it heals the soul and produces a spirit of gratitude for everything that happens.

Your love never fails. And how greatly you desire those whom you love at least to believe this, to believe in you, and to begin making use of and enjoying it.

And how wonderful it is to meet a person who has such love for you—a love that can be called agape.

Let us imagine what this is like.

Your friend says that he loves you. He says it simply, expecting nothing in return. He has made this decision for himself and lives by his choice. He demands nothing in exchange but looks for opportunities to embody his love in actions and somehow make you happy. As usually happens, you do not believe that it is sincere, but just in case, you test it and want to make sure how deep and genuine this love is. Your response may take many forms: mockery, insults, indifference, aggression, interest, a request for help, questions, observation, trust, and attempts to understand the loving person’s true motive. Yet he loves and endures everything. It is very difficult to believe that someone loves you. You have already experienced so much betrayal and disappointment in life that you have grown accustomed to closing yourself off from everyone; and if you allow anyone into your life, it is only on certain conditions. But this person loves without any conditions, and always. What if it is true? It is almost frightening to imagine. It means that forever I have become someone very precious and close to this person. It means that throughout his life he will seek advantages and positive qualities in me and admire them. It means that he will never become a betrayer and will never harm me. Yet through all of this he modestly lives while awaiting my decision and joyfully accepts everything I do and decide. He knows how to wait and can do so for a lifetime. Unfortunately, sometimes the love of such a person can be truly appreciated only after his death. Life is so short and fleeting. How we wish to bring its moments back, but it is no longer possible.

How we wish to become a child simply to accept a friend’s love and enjoy it. But life experience and a damaged, closed heart interfere greatly.

Rejoice if there is such a person, such a friend, in your life. His value exceeds all the riches of this world. His presence brings peace and rest, joy and blessing upon everything. With him, much can be planned and much can be achieved.

It is so wonderful when someone who loves you with agape appears in your life. It is especially joyful when you notice and accept it. Such people bring only happiness, love, and friendship into your life. Where they are, blessings and steady spiritual gain appear, and there are no losses. They are a kind of victor who moves unshakably toward the goal and knows what he is doing, and this confidence inspires you as well.

The question is: where can such a person, such a friend, be found? There is an answer: become one yourself. If you want to have many friends, become friendly yourself. This spirit, like a magnet, will draw everything best toward you. It will make you more beautiful and interesting as well.

And yet how wonderful it is when a person appears in your life who simply loves you. You cannot produce this within him; it is his choice, and he must arrive at it himself, making the decision and becoming established in it. With all your friendliness, you cannot force him to do this, but you can help him by giving him your love and friendship. So sow love. What you sow, you will also reap.

Therefore, if you have a friend who loves you, value him and accept his modest offer to love you. This will greatly gladden his heart, and then he will be able to do much good for you. If necessary, he will give all the best that he possesses in his soul, if only you may be well.

If you do not yet have such a friend, or have not yet noticed him, I want to assure you that this is not so. There are earthly friends who may disappear or may not exist, but there are Heavenly Friends Who always exist and Who love you greatly. The very Best Friend has already come. He is very near, right beside you, only the distance of your closed door and your weary heart away. He is waiting only for your decision to open this heart to Him. He will enter and heal, teach you something very good, answer all your requests, fulfil all your desires, and show you great and inaccessible things that you do not know. His Name is Jesus, the Son of God, the Son of Man. He has already decided to become your Friend; He is already your Friend, and He will give you many friends.

There is also an entire army of kind Angels who have cared for you from childhood and borne you in their arms. They love you even if you do not believe it, and they await meeting you in eternity. They are your loving friends forever. There are very many of them; they know you very well, and they are very kind.

If you have a friend in this world who constantly tells or writes to you about his love and friendship, rejoice that you have him. What to do with him is your decision.

There is a proverb: ‘Water does not flow beneath a lying stone.’ In my dreams I can reach the highest summits and gain the whole world, but the reality is that I must rise, leave my personal space, and begin to act.

Searching for friends in this world’s rubbish heap is not a very rewarding occupation. You do not know what will come of it; perhaps you will be unlucky. But God already has proven places where dependable people gather. They probably do not know that someone is seeking them for friendship, but they are waiting for the real you. In God’s family there are very many of your friends who have lacked you for a very long time. They are ready for true friendship, but they do not know how such relationships are built and therefore do not dare take this step.

And now we have met. We are family in Christ but strangers in relationship, still unacquainted. I take a step of faith and enter your life forever. What should you do with me? That is your choice. It is not all so difficult. But this approach gives me an advantage: I begin first so that I may never retreat. I know the laws of friendship and live by them. I begin applying them to my neighbour and see their action and power. They enter your life and change everything. You have nowhere to go; you are destined for eternal friendship if you desire it and make that decision.

In every relationship there is a choice. Even God takes our desires into account and does not establish me in something I have not decided upon. But He has given a commandment that must come into action and accomplish God’s will in our lives.

Right friendship is the response and agreement of two hearts. One can build upon such a foundation. But what exactly should be built? We decide that. It may be merely polite greetings or kind words, friendly fellowship, shared activities, common prospects for growth, or something more. It is for us to decide. But perhaps we have not yet met. For this, one must simply rise, go, and find one another. Besides, we have the Lord, Who loves to give us to one another forever. And you look and marvel: you were not here, but now you are.

1. What did you find interesting in this lesson?

2. Have you had true friends from birth, or did they appear later?

3. Is Jesus a true example of a Friend to you? If so, how?

4. What decision about friendship does God expect from you?

5. Does someone give us friends, or is it our personal choice?

6. Does your understanding of friendship differ from God’s commandment?

7. Please read John 15:4; Colossians 2:2–3; 3:10, 12–14; Psalm 91:11; 34:8; Philippians 4:4–7; Ephesians 3:3–20; Revelation 3:21; 2 Corinthians 5:14; 6:11–13; 11:29; 12:15; 13:11–13; and Isaiah 60:1–4 in the light of this lesson.