Lesson 143. The Inexplicable Qualities of Friendship

The more deeply you delve into the concept of friendship, trying to describe it in words, the more you realise that it is a great mystery of the soul that cannot always be expressed in this way.

This bond between you and your friend is invisible to the eye, but it joins your hearts with strong threads of love and heartfelt affection.

We are accustomed to children being born into the world. We have studied this process, and some have even managed to record the development of an embryo in its mother’s womb. The entire sequence of the child’s development has been established day by day, and special smartphone applications have been created to show this process, but no one can explain why a person develops in precisely this way. It is also interesting that this person simply did not exist anywhere before; you did not know that he would ever appear, and you could not imagine how your life would change when he was born. But he appeared, and the world became different. And now all your affairs are planned around the fact that this person is in your life; he is a part of you, your heart is with him, and there is no escaping it. You are attached to him, and this bond changes over the years but does not cease. Such invisible threads of love bind your heart for ever to a little person who had never before been in your life, or even in your plans. And you do not know who he will become or how your relationship will develop in the future, but you decide to love and care for this human being. And no matter how difficult it may be, this child is yours for ever.

My friends were not part of my plans. When I asked God for love, I did not even suspect that together with it He would also give me you, my friends. You were not in my life; I did not know you or plan to have you. I did not even know what agape friendship was or that it existed. But the Lord began to give you to me, and you began to appear in my life and shine like stars. At first, I found this interesting, and I did not understand what was happening or why my heart was becoming attached to you. Then I decided that these relationships should be permanent and never end, and I began to pray that God would bless us in this. Many of you do not even know that my life is bound to yours by the strongest bonds of love and friendship. But I made this decision and asked for God’s blessing and approval upon it, and He answered. How can this be seen? Through deeds? Through words? It is far deeper than that. And I do not know how to explain it. But perhaps these are merely problems of my own heart, perhaps it should not be this way, perhaps I invented it myself and rejoice in it. Yet I read the Bible, study the life of Jesus, and see that my love for my friends does not contradict God’s will and that this is precisely how it ought to be. Moreover, it should be mutual. I begin to speak about it, but in response I hear mockery, unbelief, and misunderstanding. And so I have to carry everything within myself and share it only with Jesus. I often ask Him in prayer that this heartfelt affection may be pure and right and have nothing in common with sin. And the Lord listens and answers.

And now I have dared to tell you about it, but I understand that there are no words to explain the joy of realising that you exist, that you have appeared in my life for ever, that a part of my heart is with you, and that this is from God. What you choose to do with me is for you to decide.

And I know that this is not the end but the beginning of new acquaintances and bonds that will never end but will be taken into Eternity so that these relationships may continue there as well.

The only thing that can destroy this bond is my sin, which the enemy of souls persistently offers me. But I do not want to live in sin, and I flee from it, having no desire to live in it. And God sees this longing of mine and preserves me from evil.

I am also glad that many of you are not yet in my life or even in my plans, but you are in God’s plans for me. And when He gives you to me, you will appear in my life to take a place in my heart for ever and to bring me joy throughout my life simply because you exist.

Why am I writing this? I am simply sharing with you what takes place in a loving heart, so that when you notice it within yourself, you will not be afraid but will remember me and accept it as a gift from the Lord.

No one is forcing me to speak about this, and this confession of mine obligates no one to anything. There is no reason to pretend that something exists when it does not. I am simply sharing this in a lesson about love, trying to convey that there are inexplicable things in the human heart and in friendship for which the right words simply do not exist. But they can be experienced.

Sometimes you wonder what will happen with this person if I simply tell him openly and directly about my love for him—within the boundaries of love for my family, of course. How will I be understood? Will he hear me? Will he respond in the same way? Yet this commandment was given to both of us and to all believers. At first, I try to express it cautiously in words or hints. And if I do not encounter a wall, I go further. But if I see misunderstanding or rejection, I accept it, step back, and begin to wait. I may wait a long time—perhaps my whole life.

But if I am accepted, I very gently explore how I should continue being a friend so that I may become established in this relationship and retain this status throughout my life.

Are there people with whom friendship is impossible, with whom one should not even begin to establish this bond? Unfortunately, yes. The next lesson will address this.

Love has its own special language, which my heart understands perfectly and can speak. Sometimes there are no words, yet the bond is established. Another inexplicable quality of friendship is that God’s Spirit takes an active part in this event, adorning such relationships and making them right and perfect. Sometimes you have said and done nothing special, yet you and your friend are happy. There are no visible reasons for it, but you both delight in each other, and there is no explanation for it. And this is how it should be; it is right.

But there is an enemy of souls who desires to pervert everything. One person presenting this relationship in a false light with unclean lips is enough for a red light to come on and for boundaries, walls, and fences to be erected so that this person will not continue to think and speak in this way. How often the envy, lies, and evil speaking of those close to us very quickly destroy what took years to build. This also happens in friendship. Every relationship passes through the fire of testing and reveals how strong and genuine it is.

But love goes boldly into the fire. It is not afraid of further purification; it is already pure, and for me, love itself is the fire. It is love that reveals all my sins and weaknesses of soul.

Just as I cannot understand how a child develops inside its mother, so in friendship it is sometimes difficult to explain how this person appeared in my life for ever and why this brings such joy to my heart, as though he were created to be my friend. And this heartfelt affection binds us so firmly that afterward nothing can separate us if, from the beginning, we have allowed God to make us friends.

Can you imagine how the heart of Jesus becomes attached to us—to those whom He loves so deeply, calls, and waits for? How tenderly He protects this relationship, remaining faithful, tactful, and pure. He gives me an example of true friendship. And the closer I am to Him, the more I marvel at what a wonderful Friend He is and what a wonderful Lord He is. He is not only my Saviour but also the One Who loves me very much.

1. What did you understand from this lesson?

2. Do you have a complete explanation of friendship? If so, please share it.

3. Is the definition of friendship something clear to you? What is it based upon?

4. Do you have friends who are mysteries and difficult to understand?

5. What will you do with a friend who loves you when you do not love him?

6. Is Jesus’ friendship toward you understandable to you? Can you call Him your personal Friend?

7. How can you know that Jesus is your Friend? Please explain how this can be determined.

8. Please read 1 John 4:7, 11; Proverbs 17:17; John 17:15–16; Ecclesiastes 5:4; and Song of Solomon 8:7 in the light of our lesson.

9. Which Bible verses came to your mind while studying this lesson?