Lesson 146. To Lay Down One’s Life for One’s Friends

I remember an occasion during my military service when I had a conflict with a fellow serviceman from one of the Central Asian republics. To settle the dispute by force, he invited his friend. When they entered the room where I was with my friend, they first decided to resolve the matter through negotiation. When that did not work, they started a fight. If my friend had said even one word in my defence, everything might have been resolved peacefully, but he sat silently and watched everything that was happening with indifference. When the fight began, he continued to sit in silence. Perhaps he was paralysed by fear, while I defended myself as best I could. In the end, my two opponents ran away bleeding. I decided that it was all over and began putting my torn clothing in order. After a while, a commotion arose in our quarters. A crowd of fellow countrymen of the soldiers who had been beaten came for me and called me out to settle the score. My fellow servicemen were all around me, including my comrades-in-arms and the servicemen on duty in the battery, but not one of them stood up for me. As a result, I was left alone against a group of about ten men. Of course, it did not end very well for me, but by God’s mercy I remained alive, although I did not know the Lord. By then, my military service was coming to an end and I was preparing to be discharged, but I had to spend the rest of my term of service in the infirmary.

My understanding of friends changed radically; I realised that I had none.

Before His death, Jesus taught: John 15:13: “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” What did He mean?

Throughout all ages, God’s children have been subjected to persecution and death. It was not difficult to identify them among any group of people. Peter’s sad experience of denying Christ taught many that one could deny the Lord very quickly by uttering a single careless word. And when one person was seized, they tried by persuasion, promises, or torture to learn the names and whereabouts of others who also believed in Jesus. Faithful friends kept this secret until death.

But Christ’s definition of love for friends applies not only to such events, but also to peaceful times when there is freedom. Today, upon the first request, we readily provide any authorities with lists of all our church members, understanding that there is nothing frightening about this. And our social-media accounts openly show the whole world all our friends and fellow believers, even those whom we do not know. Any specialist can very quickly determine all my spiritual interests and the particular features of my faith. And it seems that no one intends to kill anyone. But it will not always be so.

In our peaceful time, the church is suffering great losses. Souls are perishing; as children grow up, they leave for the world; and those who remain often have hostility and disagreements among themselves, dividing into groups according to their interests. Satan could not have imagined a better time.

And we are approaching the point when a righteous and holy person will soon be a ‘black sheep’ in the church. He will be expelled by his fellow believers for his stubbornness and firmness. Unfortunately, this is already happening, though fortunately not everywhere. And in such a situation, how does one lay down one’s life for one’s friends?

I will say honestly that first I want to find them, make them true friends, rejoice in this friendship, and I have no desire at all to die and leave them alone in sorrow. But how else can I show my great love for them? Or perhaps this definition has another meaning as well?

A little earlier, we spoke about the fact that our life consists of time. And if I spend it on my friends and their salvation, then by doing so I give them a part of my life. If I decide to start a family with my friend of the opposite sex, then by this I give my life to that person, and that person gives his or her life to me, and together we belong to and serve one another.

The money we earn by applying our hands and minds to our work also contains a part of our life, because to obtain it we devote much time to our labour; and in the form of the funds we receive, we give this time to our friends, easing their needs. A part of my life—that is, of my soul—is invested in my money. It is not merely pieces of paper, but something that cost me part of my life.

Sometimes I have experienced the following. At a gathering of people, my opponents attacked me, wishing to humiliate me or demonstrate their own importance. How I wanted my friends to stand up for me and simply support me with words of defence and encouragement, but they watched with interest to see how I would get out of the situation and remained silent. I had to ask Jesus for help with all my soul, and help came. And how many times have I myself been such a silent friend, indifferently watching as the world dealt cruelly with my friends and doing nothing to save them?

And when a friend leaves for the world to die there, am I ready to lay down my life for him, pleading in prayer for his salvation and trying to do everything possible to keep him from taking that step? To my shame, I will say that sometimes I do not even understand what I need to do. Sometimes I merely watch and regret his decision, doing nothing more than respecting his choice.

When I had just come to God and believed in Christ, I looked for a church not according to true biblical teaching, but according to whether it had people who needed me and would be interested in me. It was foolish, but this was how I searched for new friends and went from church to church, thirsting for friendly fellowship. I did not yet know the laws and principles of friendship that we are studying, but intuitively I understood that they should exist among God’s people. And they do exist, but the best place for these laws is in my heart.

When I write these lessons, every morning I spend two hours of my life on them. This time is enough to compose one lesson that can be read in six minutes. I set aside this time in the hope that this part of my life will benefit someone, and then throughout the day I check the homework, rejoicing that my time has not been spent in vain. And I thank God that in this way I can give hours and minutes to my friends. How joyful it is to hear that they find time to receive my contribution to their lives and spend portions of their lives receiving it.

And how much of our lifetime do we give to one another in fellowship? Am I ready to lay down my life to remind a friend about myself and ask about his needs so that I may take part in meeting them? Sometimes there is no time for this, and sometimes there is no desire. So many things to do.

Sometimes I simply want to die for someone—to fall asleep and never wake up—and thus give my life. But what meaning would there be in such a foolish death? It is better to live and ask for wisdom about how best to give my life for God’s glory.

There are many questions that are difficult to answer honestly. But it is always easy to invent a beautiful answer. How many times have I imagined myself a hero in future battles, but when they came into my life, I ‘tucked my tail between my legs’ and fell. But Jesus is teaching us.

And the time is approaching when everyone who kills us will think that by doing so he is serving God. We will all pass through the fire. But some of us will burn in it, while others will be purified.

Love gives the correct answer to this definition of Christ. Love itself is the readiness to lay down one’s life for one’s friend without fearing the consequences, for it cannot live or act in any other way.

1. Did you learn anything new from this lesson?

2. How do you understand the definition of greater love through the desire to lay down one’s life?

3. How can one lay down one’s life for one’s friends and still remain alive?

4. What will happen to me if I give my life for a friend but do not have love?

5. Is it possible to lay down one’s life for one’s friends while being guided by the carnal spirit?

6. What examples do you know from life in which someone laid down his life for a friend? Please share them.

7. Please read 1 Corinthians 13:3; 1 John 3:16; John 3:16; 10:11–12; and 13:1 in the light of our lesson.

8. What Bible verses came to mind as you studied this lesson?