Infatuation and Love

He and she looked at each other and realized that, finally, they had met the one they had dreamed about for so long. Not long ago they had crossed the threshold of their majority and felt quite independent. Their believing parents gave them freedom in making decisions, which led them to a reassessment of values, and the young people began to arrange their own lives and build their personal relationships with God.

And then one fine day he and she noticed each other at one of the youth congresses and realized that this meeting was not accidental, and the one who looked so intently and cheerfully into their eyes was the long-awaited answer to the prayer of faith. They were drawn to each other as if by a magnet, and they realized that love at first sight exists, and now something very important and significant is happening.

Relying on their feelings and intuition, they decided to develop relationships and in common prayer asked God to bless their friendship. Time ceased to exist for them. They could talk for hours about everything in the world, believing that this soul celebration would never end, and why should it, because they love each other.

One day he decided to carefully take her hand in his, and she with childlike trust allowed her beloved to do this. Something like an electric current passed through their bodies, and they felt so good in this innocent touch that they decided from now on to spend time with each other exactly this way. Even during prayer the young people did not want to let go of each other, and the joy from such closeness overflowed their young and pure hearts.

Once they gathered courage and came to her church holding hands, which attracted the attention of all parishioners, especially her friends. He turned out to be an interesting interlocutor and during the Sabbath school lesson discussion sometimes let go of her hand to open the needed place in the Bible.

He and she were so attuned to each other that they created around their relationship a large fence so that no one could interfere in their inner world and sow something unkind or express their opinion about their friendship. They were ready to defend their relationship by any means and did not allow suspicious brethren near them. Although no one tried to prevent them from being friends, they still caught different looks at themselves. Someone looked at them with a smile, someone expressed unconcealed regret, and some friends asked when the wedding would be.

They began to seriously think that creating a family would be a wise decision for them, and living together would allow them to lawfully do what they so passionately desired, but restrained themselves, understanding that rushing events was wrong.

And then the day came when he decided to take the next step and, embracing his girlfriend, confidently kissed her on the lips. Both of them felt a slight dizziness, and they no longer wanted to part ever. As if enchanted, they pressed against each other, understanding only that this was true love, and they were simply created for each other. She closed her eyes from pleasure and with childlike trust allowed herself to be kissed further, joyfully responding in kind. She felt his hands stroking her back, but subconsciously made sure that they did not go below the waist, gently correcting them when this line was violated.

Their relationship entered a new stage. Holding hands no longer pleased their hearts so much, and they decided to always walk embracing to show others how happy they are, and from time to time exchanged kisses to strengthen their friendship with this. And when such pastime became the norm for them, they decided to demonstrate their love for each other also in the circle of their friends, and then in church, tenderly holding each other by the waist, but deciding not to kiss in public, although their loving looks at each other made it clear to everyone that the wedding would be soon.

Someone advised them to undergo premarital counseling, to which they dryly gave their consent, although they understood that their feelings for each other were so strong and constant, and their attachment so strong, that extra advice would be unnecessary for them.

And so they came to a meeting with the pastor, who began to ask them serious questions that disconcerted them and put them in a dead end. They realized that they knew each other very poorly, but their mutual love covered this insignificant shortcoming, and they answered all questions with cheerfulness, unequivocally assuring their mentor that not everything he told them was so important, because they love each other so much. And they had only one question for the pastor: "When can he marry them?" But, understanding that before the end of premarital counseling they had no chance, they decided to go through this formal procedure and joyfully waited for the moment when they could finally say to the whole world the long-awaited "Yes. Yes."

At the next meeting, she decided to sit on her friend's lap to be closer to him in their embrace. They felt so good with each other in such pastime that they lost track of time, and their hands no longer knew any boundaries and increasingly delighted their hearts with their accidental but pleasant caresses. They loved each other so much that they no longer had barriers in their personal space, but some invisible force restrained their feelings, suggesting that they should wait a little and not develop before the wedding what they so wanted to try in order to be even more strengthened in mutual love.

Finally, they were given the go-ahead for their union, and this became the main restraining criterion of their intimacy. They joyfully decided to wait for this celebration, so that later they could continue the relationship as they wanted.

But our friends had friends who also once met each other, but decided not to touch each other until they understood how much they suited each other, and whether there was God's approval of their relationship. They prayed much for each other, read books together about creating a family and raising children, looked for those who could give them wise advice for building family happiness. Short meetings at premarital counseling lessons were not enough for them, and they looked for new people who could share with them their life experience and tell them what a happy family should be, and what it should not be. All valuable thoughts and advice were written down in a notebook, so that later they could discuss all this together and give it to God in prayer. They were in no hurry with the wedding day, understanding that everything should be wise and have God's blessing. They liked to communicate with each other, but at the same time they did not abandon other things, joyfully fulfilling their daily duties.

When they were asked about their wedding, they modestly said that they still knew each other poorly and did not want to make a mistake by getting ahead of events.

The time of their friendship became for them a time of fasting and prayer. They very much wanted to have the approval of God, parents and the church. Although they had personal sympathy for each other, they understood that feelings are not a very reliable advisor, and therefore decided to approach their friendship soberly.

1. Please read: Gen. 3:7; 6:1-5; 24:2-4,11-14,19-21,58-61; 29:10-12; Prov. 6:20-25; Heb. 13:21; Eph. 3:16-19; Rev. 14:4; Rom. 8:14; 1 John 4:11 in light of this topic.

2. What did you understand from this topic?

3. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

4. What is infatuation?

5. Have you ever been in love? Did it feel good?

6. How long does that first feeling last that draws you to another person?

7. Does the Bible prohibit infatuation?

8. Do you think wisdom from above is needed for choosing a life partner?

9. Will it be right to rely on one's feelings when choosing a candidate for creating a family?

10. Should one consider one's sympathies and feelings when choosing a life partner, or should one be guided only by principle?

11. Is it worth building a relationship if there are no feelings, and they do not come even with close communication?

12. What does wisdom consist of when creating a family?

13. What is the difference between love and infatuation?

14. What should be done if someone, being married, falls in love with another person, and cannot get rid of these feelings? Is this bad?

15. What happens to those who create families relying only on their feelings?