Hasty Marriages

Our time is characterized by the fact that many things, services, and acquisitions have become quickly accessible. Everything that works faster and can serve a person with better quality enjoys enormous popularity and demand. We are ready to pay big money for fast services, and we want to earn big money quickly. And it creates the impression that we are flying somewhere, not understanding where we will arrive. The thinking of modern man is tuned to the instant receipt of all kinds of information and answers to all his questions.

Here and now—the motto of our time, which many corporations have adopted to quickly bring to life many of their fleeting desires and respond to imaginary needs. And if someone doesn't have the means to instantly achieve their dream, then there are credit companies that, at the expense of your subsequent labor, will give you a quick loan that you will be paying back for the rest of your remaining life.

Marriage and family have not escaped such influence of time and, as a consequence, we see sad statistics of the collapse of family unions or their deplorable state.

I have heard the following expression many times. A real man must do three things at least once in his life: build a house, plant a tree, and have a son. And the frequent repetition of this statement subconsciously imposes an image and goal of my life. I have built very many houses and planted very many trees, and although I have one adult child, I still did not understand what such a phrase was said for. But, having decided to figure it out, I learned that something similar was written a very long time ago, but with a different meaning: "A man must first build a house and plant a vineyard, and then marry." Someone among the wise men understood that hasty marriages would not lead to anything good.

In our world there are very many all kinds of sciences and disciplines that provide education and necessary knowledge. We study all this from school desks, and it often happens that much of it is simply not needed throughout our entire life.

But all of us, men and women, are created by God for each other, so that, having once met and getting to know each other better, we could create marital unions and in them continue to know our companion, discovering the infinite potential of our hidden abilities and possibilities.

But for some reason no one teaches us this, it is rarely taught anywhere, and, as a rule, no one is interested in this when creating a family and even more so when it already exists. Feelings and desires have become faithful teachers of our era, who very quickly convince people in love that all that is lacking for their complete happiness is only a lavish wedding.

Communicating with many girls who have at least once been to someone's wedding celebration, I noticed one common picture. They all dreamed of someday having their own white dress, to come out in it to their friends and appear before them in all their beauty. In my life I have not seen more beautiful women than a bride adorned for the groom. It happens that you don't even recognize a familiar person under all kinds of decorations. And in all photographs you try to make out what the newlyweds look like. And, as a rule, in all comments you hear the same thing: "Beautiful!" Is it really worth creating a family for the sake of this exclamation?

Of course, not everything is so bad, and I know many happy families, but let's look at your hands. Raise them with fingers up and imagine the absence of every second finger. Will it be pleasant for you if you have five healthy fingers left on two hands? Will you be filled with joy that the surviving fingers faithfully serve you further, although there is a threat of losing them too?

Destroyed marriages are the pain of our time. Homeless and unwanted children will not make our world happier. The pain of breaking relationships does not add happiness and meaning of life to my heart. And, having such baggage, for some reason we do not try to fix this in the next generation by teaching children from our mistakes, but we raise scientists and professors who remain absolute ignoramuses in understanding the science of family happiness.

When you see your son in an embrace with a new girlfriend and try to tell him about the secrets and meaning of a happy family, most likely he will not listen to you. He already knows himself what to do and what happiness consists of. His hormonal experiences open up wonderful prospects for future bliss, into which he confidently walks with his unfamiliar life companion.

If I begin to erect the walls of my future house directly on sand, without laying a solid foundation, then what will I build? A house on sand. And it will be a cheap but beautiful structure. All that remains is to fill it with comfort and cheerful children. One should not think about unforeseen storms and spoil one's life with unnecessary worries. My neighbor has the same kind of house, and he looks quite happy.

Although I know how to build sturdy houses that will withstand all the attacks of bad weather, I was an absolute ignoramus in building my family happiness. I did not know God, did not see the goal, and did not understand the meaning. The only thing that saved my marriage from destruction was the understanding that this is a union for life and that God hates divorce. But such notions do not make family everyday life happy. This is not enough. And if there is no happiness, then the family becomes an anvil where constant fiery tests of strength take place, which teach much but do not make these relationships better.

But I found Jesus, the Source of all happiness, and invited God into my life. I did not want to put up with pitiful existence in my problems, and I cried out to Heaven, wanting to delve into the mysteries of eternal happiness. And the Lord began to open the veil before His laws, which are quite simple to understand and assimilate.

Living by the laws of happiness, a person becomes the happiest in the world, even if the conditions of surrounding life do not suit this.

The science of family happiness requires much time, which is worth spending on learning it, even if you are not planning to create your own family. This will come by itself when the time comes. But whether I will be ready or not, I decide myself. In any case, even if I have met a real candidate for creating a family, one should not speed up this process. The time spent in knowing each other and God's will for this union lays a solid foundation for future happiness. And it will inevitably be with those who study it and practice it in their relationships.

It will be wise to study for many years to be a doctor before a hopelessly ill person comes to you, believing that you know how to help him.

Feelings and desires adorn any marriage if they are built on a solid foundation and are under the control of reason and will, and not vice versa. The more you consult about building your house and apply this in life, the more solid this building will be.

Once the Syrian military commander Naaman decided to receive quick healing from leprosy according to his expectations and feelings. But he was advised to dip seven times in the Jordan, which drove him into a rage. However, wise servants convinced the commander to follow the prophet's instructions, and the disease went away. Not everything that I consider happiness brings happiness. This science needs to be studied diligently and for a long time.

1. Please read Ps. 89:10; Eccl. 5:1; 8:10; Prov. 14:8; 19:2,14; 20:25; 21:5; 28:22; 31:10-12,30; 2 Kings 5:1-4; Is. 52:11-12; 1 Tim. 4:16; 1 Cor. 3:19-20; James 3:13; Eph. 4:1-4; Col. 2:2-3; Matt. 7:24-27 in light of this topic.

2. What did you understand from this topic?

3. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

4. Did you read those verses that were presented for reflection in the first point of this assignment? If not, where are you hurrying to?

5. Is it worth making hasty decisions in creating a family union? What if your chosen one changes his/her mind while you are observing him/her? And what then?

6. Is family something important? Is it worth approaching its creation and building very wisely?

7. Is it worth taking as an example the quick weddings of some biblical heroes? 1 Sam. 25:40-42.

8. Why can haste in creating a family be a bad foundation for building family happiness?

9. How not to hurry if the years are pressing, and there are not so many candidates for marital union? And here they offered hand and heart.

10. Everything is clear with haste, but is it necessary to delay creating a family if you have comprehensively studied a person and understood that he/she is to your heart?

11. What sad consequences can a quick decision in creating a family bring?

12. How much time does a person need to understand how suitable for him/her is the one with whom he/she plans to live his/her whole life?

13. Is God interested in my family happiness?

14. How can I understand God's will regarding my decision to create a family?

15. Is it worth studying the science of a happy family if I am not going to create one?