The Sin of Cohabitation

Cohabitation is an extramarital union of two people who agreed to live together, keep one household, have all the advantages of family relationships, but do not wish to officially register their relationship. Also considered cohabitation are extramarital intimate short-term relationships.

The church condemns cohabitation as sin based on the seventh commandment "You shall not commit adultery" Ex. 20:14. The state does not recognize cohabitation as a family and does not give cohabitants any legal protection. Children born in such a union are called illegitimate children, and for their sake there are certain state laws establishing the rights of paternity and maternity.

Cohabitation is living together without obligations to each other, although there may be voluntary rights and duties established by the partners themselves.

Such communities can be created spontaneously, for one night or for a short period, or be more prolonged, and sometimes last a lifetime, when two people even have common children and grandchildren.

The Bible considers such relationships fornication and condemns people living in this way, calling them fornicators who have no right to Eternity.

In our time, cohabitation has become the way of thinking of a worldly person and is so firmly established in people's consciousness that it is already the norm of life in Western society. Cohabitation does not cause censure or condemnation.

There are many countries that legislatively do not infringe on the rights of cohabitants in any way and do not impose on them any administrative or criminal penalty.

In some Russian-speaking cultures there is a tendency to call such unions "civil marriage," and the cohabitant "civil husband or wife." But this is incorrect, since the church is separated from the state, and civil marriage is called the official registration of the family union of a man and a woman.

The church in such a society cannot assign to a family an official legal status, but has the right to bless and declare its parishioners husband and wife within the framework of its denomination, endowing the newlyweds at the wedding ceremony with the spiritual status of family. This status is accepted by the entire church brotherhood, and the young family joins the social life of the church on such rights.

Hollywood offered the world its model of "family" without status and obligations, which it tirelessly promotes in all its films, inventing all kinds of romantic scenarios. Under the influence of such theatrical art, the human mind accepts such a model of life, and carnal nature tunes in to the embodiment of this model in one's life or approves of those who already live this way.

Any such sin begins romantically and is very pleasant and desirable, but its consequences, like those of any iniquity, are terrible. The forces of darkness take possession of a person's will and hold the souls of those who have given themselves into the power of Satan and are in the strong chains of slavery to sin.

Fornication and adultery are special sins in God's eyes, and we know biblical stories when the Lord's judgments destroyed entire civilizations by flood or fire from heaven. And from the past of our world one can clearly trace the tendency of the disappearance of various empires at the very peak of their power due to internal corruption of the whole society.

But people do not learn from the mistakes of their ancestors and do not stop doing or approving such evil in our days.

During my life in the Christian world I have unfortunately been a frequent witness to how this sin manifested itself in our midst as well. Fortunately, it is not welcomed at any level, and if discovered, it immediately entails church penalty in the form of exclusion of the sinners from the church brotherhood.

But what to do with young people, children of our brethren, who attend worship services but have not yet become full members of the church? As a rule, most of them study in secular educational institutions and are surrounded by unbelieving peers. Being in such an environment, they absorb "Egyptian sciences" and "Babylonian thinking," and then come to the assembly with this baggage and exert their influence on each other. As a rule, youth set themselves apart and are not willing to accept strangers into their midst. And if such groups are under self-government, then expect problems.

In many churches they understand and see the problem of young people leaving for the world, and try to do everything possible to keep this generation in the church, inventing various projects and opening their own schools and educational institutions.

If we do not teach our youth eternal standards and holy truths, then in this case the enemy of the soul will take care of their education, and he will succeed in this matter.

Often those young people who go into the world are not in a hurry to create happy families but cohabit with their own kind, seeking the meaning of life where it does not exist.

Christ once said interesting words to the Samaritan woman at the well. We read in John 4:17-18: "... You have well said, 'I have no husband,' for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; in that you spoke truly." The Lord does not recognize cohabitation as marriage and does not welcome such relationships, but at the same time He loves sinners and wants to save them.

If you, reader, have such a past, or are now still living in this sin, then understand that the Lord condemns such lawlessness but wants to give you forgiveness, cleansing, and a new heart if you leave this path and choose what the Bible offers.

Voluptuousness brings physical and emotional satisfaction but does not bring the soul closer to God. It is difficult for the flesh to understand why one cannot do what brings pleasure. And the problem is not in pleasure, but in the fact that a person wants to receive it in an unlawful way.

The semblance of family life will not bring people happiness but will create a prerequisite for emotional disorder. If I am very dear to someone, then why not create a family and live under the protection of God and the state? But people choose the protection of Hollywood and demons and try to build something good in this. At the same time they also want to enter Eternity. But this is wrong. Heaven has its laws and standards that do not change and do not bend under my expectations. I can invent any model of life for myself, but if it does not have a solid biblical foundation, then it will collapse and kill me in its ruins.

Love, happiness, and friendship are what God offers to every person, every family in unlimited quantity. The Lord has much of such good. But for some reason this is often uninteresting; often one wants to get a counterfeit in an unlawful, though quick, way.

This sin has so perverted people's thinking that when the message about God's agape-love sounds, and there is a call about love for one another, you are perceived as a person who wants to bring problems and give brethren a cause for impure thoughts. If I consider something impossible, then I will not try to accomplish it. But God made His holiness accessible in our relationships as well, and love the desired result of our labors. The commandment about love has the power to endow us with this love and teach us the courage to take responsibility for the happiness of our household.

In love there is no fear that you will be left or that they will find another, better than you, but there is much love and happiness and boundless prospects for eternal development.

1. Please read Gen. 34:1-7,25-31; Deut. 23:17-18; Heb. 13:4; Eph. 5:3; 1 Cor. 5:13; 6:9-10,15-20; 1 Kings 15:11-13; 22:46; Prov. 6:26; 22:14; 29:3; Jer. 5:7; Heb. 12:16 in light of this topic.

2. What did you understand from this topic?

3. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

4. Do you consider cohabitation a sin? Do all your neighbors who surround you live in correct family relationships?

5. Did you notice that cohabitation has become very fashionable and popular in the world in our time? Does this tell you something about the nearness of God's judgments?

6. If people who love each other agreed to be husband and wife, but without marriage registration, then what is wrong with that? Rom. 13:10.

7. How does the marital union of the patriarchs' times differ from our time? Is it worth neglecting state laws?

8. Does your church unite newlyweds in family before they go through marriage registration at the registry office?

9. How to relate to those who cohabit and see no problems in this?

10. Why did Jesus pardon and not punish the woman caught in her fornication? John 8:2-11.

11. Should we hate sinners and punish them?

12. What should those do who, having cohabited with a friend for a long time outside marriage, believed in Christ and decided to live anew?

13. Is it necessary before baptism to be interested in the family status of the person being baptized and understand how he is going to build his personal life, having become a member of the church?

14. Why is it necessary to exclude fornicators from church brotherhood? 1 Cor. 5:13.

15. Do fornicating people have hope for Eternal life? If yes, then what is expected of them?