The Biochemistry of Friendship

When the Lord created man, every detail of our structure was thought through, starting from the smallest quark and atom, of which all bodily molecules and cells consist. Every millimeter of the human body harmoniously fits into the overall design and very successfully communicates with all other organs, composing and representing one person. In this diversity of everything, in the amazing complexity of all kinds of internal processes, a harmonious combination and interaction of spirit, soul, and body is noticed.

Breathing makes us alive and feeds our bodies with food from outside. Our thoughts and feelings help us choose a life path, and the body adjusts to our choice and develops within the framework that we or circumstances establish.

Inside me there are certain comrades called hormones. They react very quickly to what is happening around. In some amazing way they are closely connected with all my senses, and also control my every thought in order to react timely and correctly to what is happening in my head.

If I see a lion approaching me who feels like a "tourist" and sees in me "the tourist's breakfast," then my adrenal glands begin to produce so much adrenaline that I can very quickly and deftly climb a tall tree and be there as long as the lion does not get tired of waiting for me below.

All types of hormones are given to us with a specific purpose. Dopamine is responsible for stimulating the pleasure center. Endorphin gladdens the heart and softens pain. Insulin regulates carbohydrate metabolism and utilizes excess glucose. Serotonin creates a good mood for me and brings happiness. Melatonin regulates the body's circadian rhythms and is a powerful antioxidant that restores body functions during sleep. Testosterone is responsible for sexual attraction and promotes the development of bone and muscle tissue. Cortisol protects the body from the destructive influence of stress and regulates blood pressure.

All this and much more is in me under the general name "human."

The influence of my internal processes on my mind and my mood, as well as the influence of my mind on my inner world, is mutual, like a road with two-way traffic, where there are rules and laws.

Choosing happiness, I can feel very bad under the influence of the nature of my hormones. But, declaring the chosen direction of my life in a new day, I begin to experience amazing processes of happy reaction to what is happening around.

Choosing love, I can be indignant at injustice and hate my offender. But this path opens the door to God's Spirit, and my feelings are restructured under the chosen direction, and I love from a pure heart, rejoicing in the victory won.

Choosing love for one another, today I can be at the peak of dopamine, and in a couple of days this surge will subside, and the flesh will let me know that I went too far with such a decision and acted hastily. But I choose love for a friend and confidently go in this direction, calling for power from Above, and it comes. And I love a friend at all times.

Communicating with a friend, I experience various hormonal processes inside myself that can have an unexpected surge or subside. And my friend experiences something similar, but in his own way. And if the friend is a woman, then it must be taken into account that once a month she has cycles of blood purification, and this can very strongly and inadequately affect her behavior and surprise by this.

It is also worth considering that in friendship with the opposite sex, sexual attraction may arise, which under the influence of appropriate hormones is capable of taking control of a person's will and causing many troubles.

The apostle Paul saw the action of such laws within himself and exclaimed: "O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?" Rom. 7:24.

My life principles, based on God's Word, help me understand what is happening between us and within us and make the right decisions if there are failures in relationships. Love helps to correct hormonal imbalances. Hormones are obedient to our Savior, and He knows how to restrain or release them. And when we invite Jesus into our love for one another and ask His blessing on this friendship, it is worth believing that He accomplishes everything.

Perhaps we will go through the fire of hormonal hurricanes that will resurrect our carnal man, but love will not allow these storms to develop.

Simple, honest, sincere communication about one's internal experiences will resolve many misunderstandings.

I do not know what is happening in another person's life while he is silent. When I was studying at college at 17 years old, I had to skip a whole day without explanation of absence. My close friend was killed with a knife in a fight, and I was at the funeral all day. And the next day my teacher scolded me and threatened to expel me for absences, and I did not want to justify myself because I was very much experiencing the loss, and I did not care what would happen next. I only wanted to cry, but I silently listened to our class teacher and answered nothing. But when the teacher contacted my mother and she told him everything, he then sincerely apologized to me and until the end of studies no longer bothered me with his intimidations.

Not every friend will share his grief with me, sparing me and protecting me from the extra burden of his problems. But such problems affect the biochemistry of relationships, and one should not be afraid of this. The prayer of faith can solve and settle very much of the incomprehensible. And confidential relationships help us bear each other's burdens and cheerfully, in simplicity of heart, solve many issues.

If I become an intrusive friend even in good things, then one should expect conflict. Although it is impossible to be satiated with love and friendship, but when I do not take into account the freedom of my friend and fill all his personal space with myself, he will definitely not like this, and at some point he will want to rest from me. Therefore, one should always ask permission for one's close presence in the life of a dear person, even if he calls you to be near at all times. "Seldom set foot in your neighbor's house, lest he become weary of you and hate you" Prov. 25:17.

Even in Eternity each of us will have our own Eternal personal dwelling, that habitation in which I myself will be the master, and no one will prevent me from remaining alone for solitude, reflection, and prayer.

It happens that, communicating with a friend, I hear or speak words of love and friendship, and during these words something interesting happens inside me. Happiness hormones begin to go off the scale and I want to jump. And the same words for another or from the lips of another person are perceived calmly. Why does this happen? I do not want to be a hypocrite, but my biochemistry decides to react this way.

It happens that with someone you shook hands and forgot, and after a dear friend you do not even want to wash your hand to preserve the joy of experiencing the meeting.

But no matter how I feel under the influence of my comrades, everything must be under the control of reason, and reason under the control of Jesus.

1. Please read Rom. 7:14-25; 2 Sam. 13:1-17; Prov. 17:22; Ps. 42:5-6; 92:6; 139:13-18,23-24; Gen. 1:27; Matt. 12:15; 24:12; Rev. 3:21 in light of this chapter.

2. What did you understand from this topic?

3. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

4. Do you believe that your hormones can affect your mood and behavior?

5. Is it bad that my organs react to events in their own way and not as I want?

6. Do you think your hormones protect your body and psyche from attacks from outside?

7. Is it worth managing one's mood oneself or is it better to let it manage you?

8. Do you know "people of mood" who today are cheerful without reason, and the next day can be severe without any grounds? What may be the reason for such fluctuations?

9. Have you experienced the following? Everything is good in your life, but "cats are scratching at your soul." And this cannot be explained logically.

10. Is it worth remembering in love for one another about the influence of hormones on a person's will and reason?

11. Can a person's will manage mood?

12. If I see in myself "another law" and want to cry out: "O wretched man that I am!", should I despair, or is there Power from above that will support and give victory?

13. In the book 2 Sam. 13:1-17 the action of hormones on Amnon's will is described. Is such a thing possible in our days or in your life?

14. Will the overcomer from Rev. 3:21 be an overcomer over his flesh?

15. Can my internal processes lead me away from God?