Why Am I Alone?

In God's church many sisters live in loneliness and cannot create a family. Perhaps someone is satisfied with this, but for someone this state of affairs becomes a heavy burden and plunges into despair.

This condition has many causes that should be identified and, if necessary, the situation changed.

1. The decision to be alone and accomplish one's salvation without a life companion. If a sister is set on the fact that she does not need anyone, and this state of affairs suits her, then this is not a sin, but her full right. And one should not ridicule such people.

2. Unsociability. If a woman is constantly at home, at work, and at church, and she goes nowhere else, then how will her desired spouse learn about her? He will not come to her home to offer his hand and heart, and her workplace is not the best field for building relationships. And during worship all parishioners are set on worshiping God, not on creating a family. Perhaps active participation in social projects or trips to public events will expand favorable opportunities, but it is not at all necessary that you will meet there someone who will notice you.

3. The girl is very serious. A smile and cheerfulness are like a magnet that attracts attention and disposes to communication. When a man sees a girl who outwardly suits him, then he is interested not only in external beauty, but also in the inner world of the woman, which very well expresses itself in the form of a joyful spirit and mood. A serious face inspires in a potential candidate the thought that he has no chance of receiving anything good from this serious "loneliness," and the man prefers not to risk. Fear of appearing frivolous, wanting to get acquainted, or fear of being rejected, hold many people back from subsequent actions. And to create a family with a girl who does not know how to rejoice is a big risk of plunging into dreary everyday life. A woman's sincere smile drives away all fears and gives chances for success to those who, perhaps, are looking for a suitable candidate.

4. A woman does not try to understand a man and accept that this is a completely different planet with absolutely different thinking, views, and values. She does not consider his wishes, opinion, and feelings, and wants more to talk about herself and what interests her. The young man understands that as a person he is indifferent to her, and backs away. He needs a friend for life who will understand, respect, and value him.

5. The girl is firmly attached to her girlfriend or girlfriends, and it is impossible to catch her alone. And even when there is a brave soul who decides to get acquainted with her and make his interest in her clear, she does not want to leave her girlfriends and drags them into the new acquaintance, making it clear that she is not going to part with anyone for the sake of a new friend. The man then understands that his efforts to reach the heart of the desired soul must be tripled, since the risk of being rejected increases, and the girlfriend's opinion can destroy all the good that the inexperienced candidate for friend can offer.

6. Excessive attachment of the girl to one of the parents. If parents are healthy and can take care of themselves, then they do not need the care of their daughter and must teach her independence from them. Young men, as a rule, are not set on taking as a wife a girl with her mother or father. They want to build relationships one on one and decide themselves what their family will be like and where they will live.

A woman's dependence on the opinion of father or mother can push away a potential partner, as he understands that against the opinion and will of parents he will not be able to hold out for long, so the man prefers not to link his life with such a family.

1. Haste. A woman is always hurrying somewhere, and it is simply impossible to keep up with her. She has no time and desire to stop, postpone her important matters and just be and communicate with the one to whom she has become interesting. She does not understand what he needs and why he cannot keep pace with her in life and be her helper in solving her daily tasks. It is not characteristic of men to run after girls and catch up with them in their cares. They are ready to drag the harness of family cares themselves, but for this they need not a leader, but a helper.

2. Untidiness in appearance and unwillingness to take care of oneself. A man loves with his eyes and it is important for him how his chosen one looks. Even if she has a kind heart, but she is a slob, then the second will be a more weighty argument for breaking off the relationship. To be neat does not mean to have a lot of cosmetics, expensive clothes, and visit beauty salons. Cleanliness of body, combed hair, decent clothing selected with taste and according to the season, order and cleanliness in your dwelling—all this should be a natural addition to a girl. It is pleasant for a man to understand that for him you will continue to live in cleanliness and beauty even when you create a family with him.

3. Lack of femininity. A lonely woman sometimes has to work hard and build her life by her own strength, and this can make her masculine and independent, which she does not try to hide. A man does not need a "general in a skirt" who does not feel the need for a reliable shoulder. He needs the one next to whom he will feel strong and will do everything possible so that she feels good and comfortable behind his back.

4. Categorical religious views. If a girl has a certain model of relationship with God and categorically states that she is not going to change anything for the sake of family, then the young man simply has no chance of competing with the Creator, and he understands that with such a wife he will not be able to be a priest and head in his family. He will not have spiritual authority, so he prefers to seek his happiness with other people.

5. Self-sufficiency. A girl who has managed to achieve and acquire something by her own strength and mind causes wariness in a less experienced man. He understands that to live in someone else's apartment on his wife's salary is not the best prospect for family happiness. And it will be difficult for him to surprise his girlfriend with his modest earnings and earn authority. She can do everything herself and will manage quite well without him, and he does not want to be an appendage to her self-sufficient way of life.

6. Passionate desire to get married. When this motive guides a woman, this is visible in everything and very much alerts and repels her chosen one. He is not obsessed with the same idea and wants to calmly understand and weigh everything without tension from the girl's side.

7. Esteeming oneself higher, smarter, wiser, and stronger. Pride will not attract worthy attention but will cause disgust.

8. Fear of men. A man is not a monster that has come to ruin your life. They should not be feared, but should be loved, valued, and respected.

9. Lack of interest and desire to get acquainted and develop relationships. Few will want to spend effort on an indifferent person when there are more open people.

10. Unsuccessful marriage with a previous partner. If a girl's relationship with her husband did not work out or she was rejected by him, which led to divorce, then such a status alerts potential candidates for remarriage. And if the divorce was not because of the husband's infidelity, then the remarriage of this woman is considered a violation of the law and will not have the blessing and approval of the church.

11. Presence of children from a previous marriage. Not every man will dare to take responsibility for the fate of someone else's child. And the children themselves may be jealous of their mother toward an unfamiliar man and hinder her in creating new relationships.

12. Opposite or excessive political views. A man needs a homemaker and helper in the house, not an ideological political armchair expert.

Love helps to destroy all these and other barriers and make your heart more responsive to developing serious relationships. It teaches to love at all times and attracts worthy people, making you a worthy person for creating a happy family.

1. Please read Prov. 30:18-19; 1 Cor. 7:28-38; Eccl. 7:29; Prov. 14:1,18; 15:15; 19:14; 29:23; 31:25,30; Job 31:1; Luke 20:34-36 in light of this lesson.

2. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

3. What did you understand from this topic?

4. What other causes that alert or repel men do you know?

5. What to do if you saw a problem of your heart described in this lesson?

6. Do you find the knowledge described in the lesson useful for yourself?

7. Is it worth considering the listed factors in an already established family?

8. Do you know that for all their masculinity, representatives of the strong sex are afraid of making a mistake if they see obstacles or inconsistency with their expectations from the opposite side?

9. Should a girl worry that she is not interesting to anyone as a future wife? Or should she think about what is wrong in her life?

10. Is God interested in creating happy families?

11. Where does the building of family happiness begin?

12. Should a girl understand that the absence of worthy men can also be a reason for her loneliness?

13. Where can one find that person who will be to one's heart and from the Lord?

14. Can the verse from Eccl. 9:11 be applied to our topic? Eccl. 9:11: "I returned and saw under the sun that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor bread to the wise, nor riches to men of understanding, nor favor to men of skill; but time and chance happen to them all."

15. Is family happiness and finding the right person an accident or the consequence of certain laws?