What Is the Way to the Heart?

If you ask people in the audience what is the way to a man's heart, then immediately from several people you will hear the same answer: "Through the stomach!" And for you, most likely, exactly this answer will come first to mind, although you probably will not rush to voice it.

In my life I have heard exactly this definition of the path very many times, and it has become some kind of stereotype in my thinking as well.

I remember, very long ago, when I once again recalled this phrase, I decided to think: "What does my stomach have to do with it?" And I discovered a new world, a spiritual world.

Although I, like any of you, love to eat tasty and healthy food, food and the stomach are not the door to my heart. And if we talk about our physiology, then the intestine does great work in assimilating eaten food, but the path to the heart through it generally interests no one, although it is precisely it that nourishes the heart with useful substances extracted from food.

It is worth remembering that we live in a world where the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life reign, so appetite has power over many and can even guide the mind and will. So it is not surprising that the world loves its own and against this background considers all kinds of paths to the heart.

If you ask the public the question: "What else can the path to a man's heart lie through, besides the stomach?", then most likely you will hear what will correspond to the criteria of the world: through the eyes, sex, entertainment, comfort at home, hobbies, money and so on. All these are not bad things that should be in their place at the right time, but this is not the path that the Lord provided.

And what is the way to a woman's heart? If men begin to answer, then women will immediately be indignant, although they also have needs for tasty food, pleasant words, money, protection, stability, affection, their own home and other good things.

But if the carnal nature dominates in the heart of a woman, then she too will choose those values that the world offers.

Advertising opens so many new paths to the heart that you are surprised to learn that for the happiness of a wife she needs new laundry detergent or toothpaste from an overseas country.

And the soul languishes in anticipation of someone who has the keys of love and will be able to select them precisely for you, to enter your heart and delight it with sincerity, purity of thoughts, unconditionality and friendliness. And each heart has its own basic language of love, which it understands best, and in which it can very easily open and build relationships.

But there is also the language of circumstances, which may be completely incompatible with the languages of love, but relevant due to the need that has arisen. If I am hungry, then kind words and hugs, although they will bring me joy, will not deprive me of the feeling of hunger. And if my wife has something to feed me with, but treats me only with kind words, then my heart will not respond to such an attitude, although it understands the language of communication very well.

We read in Prov. 15:17: "Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a fatted ox and hatred with it." A house in which there is no love and respect will never warm your heart even with the most exquisite and healthy food. It will always be cold, uncomfortable and unsafe.

A person in whose heart there is no Christ will always incline to worldly criteria and values, as he is on enemy territory without God's protection.

In determining the path to the heart of a man or woman, it is worth considering many temporary, age, social, intellectual and spiritual factors, which in each person manifest differently and are not always stable.

Since we are considering this question within the framework of a happy Christian family, it is worth noting that in this case you can quite quickly and simply determine what is most to the heart of your other half, and whether you want to give this to them.

The very first step is to ask your family friend what most delights his heart on a permanent basis, and how often he wants to receive this for himself. And when a clear answer is given, lay it on your heart that over time this path to the heart may undergo significant changes, and what opened his heart earlier, today is already considered ordinary, and you need to look for something new. This is the norm of life, and you should not be afraid of it. For example, if you are fed the same tasty salad every day, then sooner or later a moment will come when you want to eat something else, as the tasty salad will no longer be so tasty.

If your spouse has had enough of something, and he is not so proactive in this sphere, then you need to take step number two: ask him what now most delights his heart, and what he wants to have. Listen carefully and follow the statements made.

Of course, if you possess perceptiveness, observation and feel the family atmosphere, then you yourself can determine which path to the heart of the spouse is best, and without asking, do what delights him.

It is important to understand that your common faith in God will always bind you with invisible bonds, and it will be very easy for you to bring the tasty fruit of the Holy Spirit, because the Spirit does not produce inedible cacti. But note that God has a serious competitor for service to himself—this is wealth, (Luke 16:13), which can blind you with its rainbow prospects, taking all your time, strength and interests. Jesus warned that it is not easy for the rich to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, and especially for those who hope in this wealth. But even here all things are possible with God. Luke 18:24-27.

Also remember that evil associations corrupt good morals. 1 Cor. 15:33. If the sphere of your life activity has led you into such an association, and you think that you will have enough strength to resist the influence of evil, then you have already lost. The world will not repent and will not change, but will swallow you with all your guts, and will not even notice that something happened, and family and spirituality will begin to suffer from this.

I know a person who loves his wife and works like a bee, but in that country there are small salaries, and with this income it is possible only not to die of hunger. And this man has to listen to unpleasant things about himself, and against this background his love is needed by no one.

I know one sister who has a husband mired in business. He thinks only about money and makes it from everything. And she dreams of this person's love for her and is ready for many sacrifices for such a relationship. And the husband does not want to hear anything about this.

I also know such a person who both earns well and also loves his wife and thinks about her happiness. And she is always dissatisfied with everything, grumbles and curses him at every opportunity.

So try to understand what are the paths to the hearts of these people?

When refugees come to our country, then they are happy to tears with any salary, any little thing that you share with them to help them integrate. Time passes, and some have such requests and ambitions that you are surprised where this came from.

But it is also pleasing that with spiritual people everything is more understandable, and their hearts beat in unison with the heart of Jesus, as does yours, and we are all very similar, and we have a common path.

1. Please read: Jer. 17:9; Prov. 4:23; 14:14,30; 15:16-17; 17:1; 27:5; Eccl. 4:9-12; Luke 16:9; Jer. 20:7; Hos. 11:3-4; John 12:32; Ps. 138:23; 1 John 2:16-17 in light of this lesson.

2. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

3. What did you understand from this topic?

4. What is the way to your heart?

5. What does the expression "way to the heart" mean?

6. What advantage does knowledge of the way to the heart of my other half give me?

7. What will happen if I myself begin to determine the way to the heart of my life friend and make my settings the main criterion?

8. Why is it so important to know the way to the heart of a family partner?

9. What languages of love do you know?

10. In what languages of love can you speak?

11. Does the Lord know the way to our hearts? How does He use this knowledge?

12. What is the danger if I begin to use worldly criteria for finding the way to the heart of my spouse?

13. Will I be able to make my family life friend happy if I know the way to his heart?

14. Will love suggest which way to the heart is closest to a person?

15. In your life is there someone who knows the way to your heart?