Matchmaking

Marriage is the most important and most responsible event in the life of every person. Nothing brings people so much happiness and blessings in their lives as a successful union of two hearts that wisely, in a prayerful spirit, approached the solution of this question.

When two friends who love each other decide to create a legal family union, taking into account all the pros and cons, guided by common sense and God's will, then this is the most beautiful decision, promising abundant blessings regarding subsequent events.

Nothing destroys a person's life as much as an unsuccessful marriage based on hasty decisions and personal ambitions. There is no more certain way to quickly lead a believer away from God and forever plunge him into darkness than to allow him to create a family with an unbelieving spouse or with someone who does not suit him in many parameters. Unhappy families are the favorite field of activity of dark forces, where the spirits of wickedness in the heavenly places can oppress both spouses all subsequent life. And even a desired divorce will not solve many complex problems associated with the incompatibility of two relatives.

When someone wants to build something solid on sand or builds on a solid foundation from non-solid material, then one should expect serious problems and destruction under impressive trials.

If I have come to a decision to create a family, then I should not hurry with the quick realization of this desire. When I am friends with various people, trying to fulfill God's commandment about love for one another, I do not always notify my parents and the parents of my friend about this. There is no need for this, but my parents may know with whom I am friends if I begin to involve them in this. But when I plan to create my family, my father and mother, if they exist, should be informed in this matter. I should reckon with the opinion and experience of those who gave me life and love me. Not all parents can be wise counselors, not all are able to recognize the future problems of my family life, but I should honor those who raised me and cared for me. And even if I have already become an adult and independent person, the opinion of my parents is worth considering.

I should also meet the parents of my future spouse and introduce myself to them as a person who has serious plans for their daughter and wants to know their opinion on this matter.

Describing these principles of relationships in honoring our parents, I understand that parents are different and sometimes unpredictable. If I believe in God, and they do not, then not all their advice may suit me, but here wisdom is needed on how to behave, and the Lord will give it if I pray about this. The consent and approval of our parents for our friendship gives us freedom to continue our relationship and removes many obstacles in the development of our friendship.

One should not hurry with announcing the date of the proposed wedding. First it is worth asking permission for our friendship, in which we plan to get to know each other closer with the goal of creating a family. Parents can see in this the seriousness of our plans, and also have time and opportunity to get to know their future relatives better, participate in our construction of happiness and give us wise advice and warnings.

While we were just friends, there was no special need to involve anyone else in these relationships. But when we decided to be friends with the goal of creating a family, then our parents should be the first to know about this and, if possible, personally meet my friend.

It may also be that parents are divorced and, having their own families, do not maintain close relationships with their children. But they too need to be notified about one's plans for life, because they are not strangers.

God's commandment about honoring father and mother does not give us restrictions on which parents we should honor and how to do this, but also does not free us from responsibility in this matter while parents are alive. It is better to err on the side of love for one's father and mother than to show neglect toward them.

And so, we have informed everyone, and everyone is aware of our relationship. There comes such a time when we decide to introduce our parents to our chosen one. And not just, but so that our parents are witnesses of my proposal of hand and heart to my beloved and hear our words and answers on this matter. Such an event is called matchmaking. It is not accepted everywhere, but is not something bad when it is done in a spirit of honor and deep respect for our parents. Usually friends and other relatives are invited to such events, after which, having heard the consent of the future bride, other events can be planned.

There are also dangerous types of matchmaking, when my friends begin to engage in this, who see a beautiful couple in us and persistently offer us to each other. Perhaps their advice will prove wise and push us to some important actions, but one should not make hasty decisions for their sake. Let their advice be of a recommendatory nature. And I myself should not be a matchmaker and decide someone's fates, convincing a person to act one way or another.

I have experienced many experiences when my friends created their families or planned to do so. And they asked me how I see their union and what I would advise them to do. I took it as a rule not to decide such fateful questions for others, but gladly shared how I see this situation, allowing friends to make final decisions themselves. And even if I advise something to someone, I do not expect that my advice will be strictly followed.

Sometimes I meet indecisive people who are afraid to take the first step, and I see that their friendship will bring them mutual blessing. Then you can help such people pay attention to each other and participate in their future happiness, without taking responsibility for making the final decision. And then you can rejoice that something good worked out for them.

Having great experience in observation and analysis, possessing knowledge about what a family should be and what it should not be under any circumstances, one can foresee very many dangers and warn about them, and also point out hidden blessings that many do not see with a superficial glance.

But I do not create happy families, but teach friends to be happy in what they choose, and to have a solid connection with the true Source of happiness—our dear Savior.

Matchmaking is not a final decision. Until marriage takes place, much can be weighed and changed. In this event the role of the man is to make the proposal, and the role of the woman is to wait for this proposal and give her answer. But in no way vice versa.

The presence or awareness of our close relatives is desirable. After all, they also have influence on us.

Being members of God's church, we need to inform all brethren about our decision to be friends with the goal of creating a family, so that no one has questions about why we are together so often.

But the most important moment of all these events is our dedication to God and request for His blessing and protection. And our Heavenly Father awaits our prayers on this matter, to answer and bless.

1. Please read: Eph. 6:1-4; Mal. 4:4-6; Gen. 2:24; Ex. 20:12; 21:15,17; Deut. 5:16; Matt. 15:3-9; Mark 10:17-19; Eph. 5:15-18,28-33; Lev. 20:8-9; Prov. 15:20; 20:20 in light of this topic.

2. What did you understand from this topic?

3. What Biblical heroes or stories came to your mind?

4. Is it so important to do what this lesson is written about?

5. What benefit does honoring parents bring to a person?

6. Are those people who adopted and raised you parents? Should they also be honored?

7. How do you understand the word "honor"? What does this mean, and what should this look like?

8. Is it important to make the decision yourself in choosing a life partner, or should only parents do this?

9. What should you do if parents are against your union, and you love each other?

10. Do you think it is necessary to consult with the Heavenly Father about how much this or that person suits me?

11. Does Jesus consult with His Father when choosing a bride for Himself?

12. Why is the choice of a life partner the most important decision in which one cannot make a mistake?

13. What awaits those who do not consider the opinion of their parents?

14. Does this lesson have any spiritual significance for the last time?

15. Do our spiritual Heavenly Parents expect any decisions from us?