To Love Before...

When people in love decided to be friends in order to subsequently create their family, notified their parents about this, then the most interesting time began for them, during which they can know each other and discuss many issues related to their common future.

I like to call this time a time of fasting and prayer.

Studying throughout my life the patterns of creating family unions, I came to the correct conclusion that the more seriously young people approach this question, the more seriously God will bless them. Those who want to know God's will for their future life will know it. The Lord readily communicates with people who consult with Him on any question, and especially on such important ones as creating a family.

It may also be that young people initially do not suit each other, and if in this mismatch they quickly created a family because they were guided by feelings and desires, then their union would be very unhappy and short-lived. But when they began in fasting and prayer to beg for God's blessings for themselves and made the decision to be friends no matter what, then in their consciousness the Lord begins to produce changes and puts in them a new heart capable of understanding the needs of another person and serving him.

The incompatibility of two people can be for only one reason: if both of them or one of them decides to cherish in themselves an egoistic spirit that does not submit to God, and indeed cannot.

Premarital acquaintance gives a very good opportunity to identify this egoistic spirit and understand who you are yourself, and who your friend is. The Lord will certainly show this to those who persistently ask Him about it. And if the Lord reveals something to us, then not with the goal of surprising us, but with the offer to change us. How I respond to these reproofs, I must decide myself.

People make a big mistake who in their friendship move from reasonable communication to sensual pleasures. Such experience puts "rose-colored glasses" on those in love, and instead of deep knowledge of God's will they move into the enchanted land of carnal lusts, which will not allow them to look soberly at life.

Family life is not a sensual celebration lasting a lifetime, but a joint path filled with everyday duties and tasks, among which sometimes there are celebrations.

In premarital knowledge of each other, many paths and opportunities are opened to us, which we can choose together, developing our horizons and character. I think it is best to start with the decision to love one another according to the commandment. Although it may seem to someone that this is added by itself and this is even in our relationships, but in reality everything is much more serious than it seems at first. Love for one another is a conscious decision and invitation of God into our relationships, which have a beginning, to never end. And even if we understand in this love that we do not suit each other as a family and decide not to create anything together, then our love and friendship will not go anywhere, and we will still love each other and rejoice that we exist.

Our decision to love one another gives God the authority to send us revelations about this love and teach us this Eternal art. We discover a new world, new opportunities and prospects.

In love for one another there is a beginning, which we can determine by our decision to embark on this path, but this undertaking, according to God's design, will never stop and never exhaust itself, but will eternally fill and delight the hearts of its participants.

We, although limited by earthly laws beings, but at the same time have in ourselves infinite potential, which is discovered and developed as it is demanded.

Love for one another opens for me the most interesting and educational book in the world—the heart of my friend. This knowledge will never end and will always delight my loving heart.

Knowledge of each other occurs not only in direct communication, but also in joint affairs, in common service, in contact with other people, in difficulties and trials that we experience throughout our friendship.

If there is an opportunity to undergo premarital counseling with spiritual people, then this must definitely be used. The opinion and wisdom of observation of a third party who has life experience will help us see ourselves and our union from the outside, identify many problems and understand useful things that we never thought about.

I think it will not be superfluous to ask different people what we need to do in order for us to be happy in our family, and what should be avoided.

Sometimes the advice of those whose families have been destroyed can be more important and useful than others. When I know what a family should not be, then I can foresee many dangers. But it is better not to get carried away with this negativity, but to study those advantages that love and friendship bring, and follow this course.

God more than anyone wants our future family happiness, and He will certainly teach this to those who ask Him about it. I should understand that my prayers on this issue will be answered. And my fasts will be accepted. Of course, it is best if fasting and prayer are from both sides, but if this is not always possible to make a common event, then my initiative should be constant. In petition to God I open my heart and can know His will.

Of course, we both should be believers from one denomination, not married to other people. Otherwise all fasts and prayers will have no meaning.

In my prayers to God I may not hear a direct answer from Heaven, but the Lord will create such circumstances in which we will see the strengths and weaknesses of each other.

To love one another and become friends before we become a family is the most faithful path and the best decision. Not everything always works out as we plan. If our mismatch to each other as future husband and wife has been revealed to us, then we can continue nothing, but love and friendship remain between us, and we can always use this, even if we have families created with other people.

And if we still decide to create our family, then our love and friendship will pass into a family union and will develop further in closer relationships.

It is so wonderful when your wife is also your friend, whom you love at all times. You can discover so much interesting in her and each time delight her heart with your joy about her. And this is possible, but such is not acquired from nothing. Family happiness must be built by joint efforts in one spirit, on one God.

When we bought a ready building and moved into it, we do not know what it is built from and how quality and solid it is. But when we build our house ourselves, having a solid Foundation and observing all laws and norms, then our dwelling will be safe, and it will be erected by us taking into account all our tastes and interests.

God gives us the authority to build for ourselves what we want, and He Himself applies His hand to our structure, being present in our love for one another.

1. Please read: 1 Cor. 16:14; Gen. 2:24; Song 1:14-16; 2:1-16; 5:8-16; 7:7,11-12; 8:7; John 13:35; 14:21; 17:26; 1 John 4:7-8; Eph. 5:1-3; 1 Pet. 1:22; Gal. 5:6; 1 Cor. 13:4-8, Rom. 12:9-10 in light of this topic.

2. What did you understand from this topic?

3. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

4. Is it mandatory to become friends before the wedding?

5. Are such knowledge needed by those who already have grandchildren? Prov. 22:6.

6. What benefit does love and friendship bring to people before entering into marriage union?

7. Do you think friends who love each other will have a prospect for continuing these relationships in marriage?

8. Why is love and friendship needed in the family?

9. Can a person love his friend from a pure heart without knowing the laws of love and friendship?

10. Does the Lord want to see His love in His children when they ask for blessing on their family?

11. What family happiness can be built without knowing the foundations and laws of this happiness?

12. What should I do if I already have a family but do not have love and friendship in it?

13. Is love needed in the family? If yes, for what?

14. What advantage is given to those who have love and friendship before entering into marriage? Is this so important?

15. What awaits those who create a family for the sake of a family, believing that feelings and love will come by themselves?