But I'm the One Who Will Live With This

The most interesting thing that awaits me in any relationship with a candidate for family is that my friend and I will have to live with everything that happens. We get to know each other, open our hearts, make choices, make decisions, and a moment comes when living without each other becomes uninteresting, and it is easier for us to marry than to part.

In whatever light our relatives see us, whatever they predict, however they warn, we will live only together, and we will have to make plans at our family council.

Communication with each other helps us to better know ourselves and our chosen one. Thus we discover new horizons, new opportunities, and interesting prospects. Over time we understand an important truth that it is best to communicate at a distance of half a meter and further, so that hormonal surges do not prevent us from looking at each other soberly.

Accidental touches, tender stroking, frequent kisses—all this, although it brings inexplicable pleasure, clouds our mind and blocks logic. And we decided to be wise and restrained, depriving ourselves of such pleasures. We do not want to lose prudence and switch to the sphere of emotional experiences.

At meeting and parting we sometimes allow ourselves a short embrace, but we can do without this for now. However, we never embrace in a lying position.

We structure our time together so as not to spend the night in one bed or in one room, or even in one house if there is no third person in it. We are in spiritual warfare and maintain vigilance in such matters.

We do not want to risk and make mistakes in choosing a life companion. And if we receive each other as a gift as husband and wife, then everything else will also be added to us and will delight us with its presence in further family relations. And now the Holy Spirit is growing in us the fruit of abstinence, and we are happy in this. Having freedom to do everything, we choose wisdom and sobriety. And the Lord gives us interesting revelations about each other. The only case when we can be very close to each other is when we get caught in the rain and we have only one umbrella, and my friend has to take my arm and press against me so as not to get wet.

Our brethren, friends, and relatives are informed about our friendship, so they are not surprised when they see us together.

We feel good together, and we await that time when we can communicate to learn something new about each other or share what overflows the heart.

Our infatuation grows into something more constant, solid, which brings special joy, and we think that this is probably that mysterious agape-love that comes from God and stays with us forever.

For communication we chose a table that very thoroughly positioned itself between us and gives us no chance for physical intimacy. Although it can be walked around, we agreed that before the wedding we will not do this.

We noticed that our communication helps us solve big and small questions, learn to clothe our thoughts in words, and this brings us much joy and light. We admire each other in these relationships, discovering our friend. A loving friend becomes so beautiful in his love that all his shortcomings cease to exist. I see a heart that loves me, and the shell of this heart can change, comb itself, clothe itself in different clothes, put itself in order and perform any actions to add something external to this love. After all, when there is love in relationships, everything else fades into the background.

Of course, in our friendship I notice the external appearance of my friend and by it determine mood, desire to communicate, fatigue, or other concerns.

At the beginning of our friendship we did not understand how much we suit each other. There were many questions to God about this. Prayers became our guide to closer relationships. Not hearing a clear God's voice, but listening to our hearts and to what is happening around, we understood that if the Lord does not put obstacles in our relationship, then everything is good, and we go further.

We verify all our thoughts and actions with God's will, which is revealed to us in the Bible and other spiritual works. For ourselves we decided to read, watch, and listen to the same things so that later we could share our revelations on what we studied and develop in ourselves unity of thought on many issues.

We began to notice that there are many questions that we look at differently and see in them what the friend does not pay attention to. But this does not repel us, but makes our communication more interesting.

Also in our conversations we decided to discuss not people, but ideas and plans. Gossip about others does not attract us. When information about someone reaches our ears, we prefer to pray for these people rather than gossip about them.

While we were simply friends, not planning to unite in a family, our expectations of each other and our behavior were independent but delicate. Now, being friends and communicating with the prospect of creating a family, we are already in a special way interested in everything connected with us. There is no desire to make a wrong step. And it is better to remain alone than to make a mistake in such a matter. But we do not want to be alone, and we are constantly drawn to each other. We do not resist this attraction but seek any opportunity to be near and see each other.

And when we cannot meet, then our smartphones help us out, which help us communicate even during work, or when we are on different ends of the earth.

We do not tire of loving each other, but make new discoveries for ourselves in this sphere of our relationship and constantly discuss how this love delights the heart, how interesting it is to live by it, think by it, and see each other.

The purity of our relationship puts God's approval on them, and we understand Heaven's blessing. Although sometimes we so want the Lord to address us with a voice and say that He blesses us and will bless us further, all our lives. Oh, how pleasant it would be to experience this! But we do not hear a voice, and we have to pray and fast a lot to distinguish it within ourselves and receive conviction that I am friends with the right person and am myself the right friend.

And how can we teach others, build good relationships, if we start talking about supernatural intervention of God when others do not experience this. Therefore we understand that God answers through the mind and heart to those people who, knowing His will, live by it and seek glory for God even in personal relationships.

We have discussed and continue to discuss all difficult and uncomfortable questions. And even if in something there is misunderstanding or disagreement, then communication helps to weigh everything soberly and change it if there is desire.

Rudeness and foolishness do not cling to us, and even when we allow ourselves jokes and innocent fun, they do not defile our friendship but adorn it with their sincerity and trust.

Our relationship rests in love for one another, and we begin to understand that if this continues in the family, then it will become a happy union in which we will be well.

1. Please read Amos 3:3; 1 Pet. 1:22; 5:8; Prov. 8:1-21; 15:17; 17:17; 21:9; 31:10-12; 1 Cor. 7:28,32-34; 15:34; 1 Thess. 5:4-9; 1 Tim. 3:11; Luke 6:31; Lev. 19:16; Song 5:10; Gen. 2:24 in light of this topic.

2. What did you understand from this topic?

3. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

4. Does the Bible prohibit touches to each other of people in love?

5. If in the Word of God there is no prohibition on embraces, touches, and kisses of people in love, is it worth practicing this before the wedding? Is there another measure of such experiences and relationships?

6. Which of your close people after your wedding will share with you the joys and features of your family life?

7. Is it important to build a happy family? What is the difference between happy relationships and ordinary ones?

8. Do you think that if both people do everything for mutual happiness, will they succeed in something?

9. Should the families of people believing in God differ from worldly unions? If yes, then in what and how?

10. How does God relate to wise homebuilders? Is it important to Him that they only be fruitful and multiply, or does He expect something more from the family?

11. If friends who love each other understand that a wedding is necessary, should they create a family? Will this not be a tragedy for their relationship?

12. Do you think it will be right to create a family with that life friend whom you love, value, whose communication you rejoice in, with whom you like to spend time, about whom you think day and night, and this is mutual?

13. Why should one not rely on feelings when choosing a life companion? If you feel good in tender embraces of each other, then why not marry and lawfully continue this pleasure?

14. Do you know unhappy families whose members before marriage loved each other, and then everything began to collapse for them? What is the cause of such relationships?

15. Is there a chance for happiness for those who wisely and with love approach the creation of a happy union and do everything possible so that the future family lives in happiness?