Important Decisions

In the pre-wedding bustle, we have to deal with a large number of organizational issues that require much time and resources. Our budget allows us to gather many guests for the wedding celebration, and my friend and I begin to recall all our friends and relatives, making a list to understand how many people we can receive.

We could have gathered only a close circle of our dearest ones and modestly celebrated our union, but out of fear of offending someone, we decided to invite everyone who knows us.

I remember one wedding where the newlyweds received 15 coffee makers as gifts, even though they did not drink coffee. To avoid such situations, we decided to write in the invitations that if, instead of gifts, people gave us money, it would be a significant support for us.

We called everyone we intended to invite, securing their agreement to attend our celebration, and then prepared an invitation card with detailed information about the date, time, and place of our wedding ceremony and banquet.

Shortly before our wedding, we were assigned a time at the civil registry office for our marriage registration. For this event we decided to invite only the closest relatives and friends.

So all the dates are set, tables are ordered, the wedding program is chosen, expenses are calculated, guests are informed, and the responsibilities of the organizers are distributed. And we realize that in all this bustle we have forgotten about each other, and our spiritual life has faded into the background.

We decided to take time to pause and refill our lamps with oil. We gathered together at a large table, prayed over our meeting, and began to discuss our relationship—but now as future husband and wife.

We do not know what awaits us in our union or what trials the Lord may allow. But we decided to talk with each other about how we will build our family happiness, what principles we will uphold in our relationship, and how we envision our future.

I once again assured my friend of my unwavering love for her, and in return, I heard her tender confession that I was also very dear to her. We decided to take these confessions with us into our family and renew them periodically in the course of our relationship.

We understand that family life is not one continuous holiday but also daily routines, which will also become our reality. And so we already decided to discuss those important things we will need when this reality becomes true. We prayed about this and began to talk.

We resolved to love one another no matter what and, in this love, to compete in bringing joy into our relationship, making it happier. We also set aside time for the spiritual part of our life, when we would be together and when each of us could have personal time with Jesus. We agreed to record all important moments so that later we could reread and implement them.

We also agreed that once a week we would hold a family council to discuss everything concerning our family, our happiness, and our relationship. We chose Wednesday evening for this purpose and decided it would be our sacred family time, when we would turn off all calls and phones, set aside all our tasks, cancel all events and meetings, so that calmly and without haste we could get to know each other, clarify aspects of our relationship, make proposals, share revelations, and talk about what was on our hearts. This would not be a time for tender caresses but for serious discussion of important issues. Although we do not plan to communicate only once a week, we specially dedicated this evening for the two of us, devoting it to us alone, to have in this communion each week an oasis where there would be only she and I.

We cannot foresee how successful our decisions will be, but I think that if we begin to build together something beautiful and strong, we will succeed. What we sow in our relationship, that we will reap in our life.

Knowing the date of our wedding, we determined that before this celebration we would already be able to hold our family council four Wednesdays.

It was also decided that all councils would be held at the table, where we could look into each other’s eyes and soberly express what concerns both of us. This is not a time for embraces.

I asked my friend for permission to tell her of my love for her and how the Lord had blessed me in this matter, and she gave her consent and with all her heart immersed herself in my confessions and revelations. I realized that love knows how to express itself not only in deed and truth but also in heartfelt confessions to each other, when you are ready to speak or to listen. And the more I expressed how love worked in my heart, the easier it became for me to find the right words to beautifully and properly convey everything that overwhelmed me. Although I understand that love is given to us from above and must be sought, in this situation it naturally entered my life to pour out through my heart and become part of my chosen one’s life. I am not ashamed to love the woman I received as a gift from God. I am delighted with the prospect that I will soon be able to affirm this love already in family life and express it more openly. And the more I speak of how I love, the more the beauty and depth of my love for my dear friend, whom I have chosen to love always, is revealed to me.

Although we had previously confessed love to each other, it was limited only to our friendship. But now we plan to carry our friendship into family life and see how our relationship takes on an entirely new character. We anticipate something beautiful, great, and previously unknown. And such expectation does not torment us but brings joy by its steady approach.

My friend, after hearing my confession, also began to share with me her revelations of love for me. And I sit and experience unearthly joy, because in this world there is a person who sincerely loves me like this and is not afraid to say it, and even does it with special joy. I never imagined before that simple words of love could be so pleasant to my heart. And our future family gives us a wonderful opportunity to always and at all times speak of this to each other.

Fearing that now, before the wedding, we are so talkative, but later this may disappear from our life, we decided that in the future every morning and every evening before going to sleep we would tell each other of our love and do it from a pure heart.

I understand that daily life may change much in our relationship, but knowing the truth that God constantly loves me just like this, I decide to love my wife in the same way, regardless of how she behaves. May the Lord help me.

I declare this decision to my future wife and see that she really liked it. Oh, only to stand firm! I understand that without Christ I can do nothing and ask Him to confirm me in my decision.

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1. Please read Amos 3:3; Matthew 18:18-20; Galatians 5:13; Romans 12:9-10; Ephesians 4:2-3; 5:25; Song of Solomon 8:7; Jeremiah 31:3; John 13:34-35; 1 Peter 1:22; 4:8; 1 John 4:7-8; 1 Corinthians 13:1-8; 16:14; Galatians 5:6; Colossians 3:14 in light of this topic.

2. What did you understand from this topic?

3. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

4. Did you learn something new and useful?

5. Is it really important to make such decisions before they are necessary?

6. Do you think that if you and your other half decide to build happiness together, you will succeed?

7. Is it important to love one another before marriage and in such a way that it is forever and unconditional, or does love come only in family life?

8. Is it necessary to spend time together discussing personal issues? If so, why?

9. What benefit does making decisions before the future bring, when everything may be different?

10. What should I do if my life lacks everything that this lesson speaks and teaches about? Should I break off the relationship?

11. What if I want to have a beautiful future, build good plans, make right decisions, but my friend (or partner) thinks it is nonsense and suggests not overloading the mind with unnecessary worries?

12. Does Heaven take into account all the decisions we make before creating a family?

13. Why is it necessary to know each other before marriage and also in marriage? Why must time be set aside for this?

14. Should we constantly tell our loved one that we love them, even if they already know it? Would that be abusing trust?

15. Is it necessary at all to say words of love to each other? Or is it more important to prove it constantly by deeds?