The Honeymoon

What do you hear and imagine when someone tells you about a "honeymoon"? In fact, it is thirty days after the wedding. There is a version that according to ancient tradition it was customary to give newlyweds a barrel of honey at the wedding, which they were to eat within a month. In some places, it was customary for the young couple to go on a romantic trip to stay away from everyday worries, which is also welcomed in our time.

Such a pastime has no Biblical foundation, but in the Word of God there are some indirect references to the first year of married life. We read in Deuteronomy 24:5: "When a man has taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war, nor shall he be charged with any business; he shall be free at home one year, and bring happiness to his wife whom he has taken." Here it is not just about the husband being free from responsibilities, but about the fact that he must bring joy to his wife.

What happens in the first month of family life? Two lonely people get to know each other as husband and wife, adjust to each other, find points of connection, and build their new family happiness. In this process, there is active discovery of one another, for which one month is very little. Intimacy is not only the physical side of marriage, but also an expression of love, trust, and spiritual unity between husband and wife.

It is also worth noting that the first month of family life is the most active phase of sexual intimacy, where newlyweds gain full freedom to do what they want, and no one and nothing can hinder them in this. But all friends and relatives smile approvingly at their union and wish them happiness.

If we take into account the fact that our modern world excessively emphasizes sex, and this influence has affected everyone, then it is worth talking about what happens to the human body, which suddenly begins to behave quite differently than usual.

In some ways our body, in many hormonal functions, is similar to the nature of certain animals. Scientists have conducted research in the field of intimate relationships of our younger brothers and saw a direct correspondence of many indicators with human life. But man differs from animals in that he has reason and can make decisions.

If a male and a female rat are placed in the same cage, immediate frantic mating occurs, and high sexual activity is observed in these animals. After a short time, this activity decreases and then disappears completely. The female no longer attracts the young male, and he loses interest in her. But if a new female is introduced into the cage, the male begins to show intense interest in her, and then calms down again. And so it happens every time a new female enters the field of availability of the male. And after three and a half years the male completely exhausts himself and no longer desires to mate with anyone. This is called the Coolidge effect in psychology and biology. The same pattern occurs among people who enter into intimacy and begin setting records, desiring to receive eternal pleasure from this connection. But the opposite effect occurs, and the law of satiation comes into force, when what once brought pleasure ceases to bring joy, and something unusual is desired.

What happens in the human body at this time?

We have an extensive hormonal system that responds to our feelings, events, and facts by releasing appropriate hormones into the blood. The center of pleasure, receiving signals from these releases, sends the brain a sense of satiety, satisfaction, fear, or whatever corresponds to our choice or situation.

The hormone dopamine is a stimulus to seek pleasure and by its influence can make a person dependent on certain actions if the will does not oppose with the principle of self-control. If there is no restraining force of will, dopamine begins to dominate and drive a person to repeat certain actions, controlling lower powers of consciousness such as appetite, sexual desire, infatuation, craving for novelty, and sociability.

Also in our body there is the hormone testosterone, which is responsible for the sexual sphere of life, for emotional and creative abilities, for the development of bones and muscle tissue, and in women also for the distribution of adipose tissue. This hormone affects sexual desire and joyful mood, physical, mental, and creative activity, and is responsible for the quality of semen.

During sexual contact, testosterone is released together with semen, and the body needs time to restore this hormone. The body requires about a week to restore hormonal balance, after which the body reenters its normal rhythm of work and mental abilities return to normal.

Active intimate life or frequent forced stimulation of the sexual organs takes additional resources from the vital reserves of the body, the lack of which exhausts the body and damages the mind of a person.

Taking this hormone from outside disrupts hormonal balance and can lead to the body ceasing to produce it on its own.

The conclusion is this: the more pleasure one seeks, the less it comes. The world teaches that a lot of sex is wonderful, but common sense and the human body cry out: “This is a catastrophe!”

The same can be said about food. Dopamine encourages us to seek and consume tasty and pleasant food. And if it is healthy, in small portions it brings benefit and joy to the heart. But if it is consumed constantly and in large quantities, the taste is lost, and it no longer satisfies the appetite. The search for new products begins. Dopamine is also responsible for addiction to alcohol, smoking, and other drugs.

When experimental animals were artificially given drugs that increased their sexual desire, their activity rose, but then declined, and then even the drugs did not help, but destroyed the exhausted body, causing various mental disorders and different diseases.

It is written in Galatians 5:22-23: “But the fruit of the Spirit is self-control.”

It is worth honestly asking yourself the question: “Why did what was the norm of behavior before marriage, keeping souls and bodies pure in thoughts and feelings, suddenly disappear after the wedding and become a distant memory?”

We are not going to establish any criteria or norms in this chapter, but simply give information for reflection and independent search for answers to cases in your life. Though we are all different, with different inclinations and boundaries, the laws of health are common to us all, and they should be known, studied, and observed.

The wisdom of the wise is that they not only know what is happening and what is right, but they also live in this right light of their knowledge and walk in this light, and have fellowship with one another.

Being wise in the last days is very important. The eye salve offered by Jesus will open our eyes to many things that should be controlled and observed in our lives. Only love, based on faithfulness and God’s wisdom, is able to preserve the freshness of feelings for many years.

Falling in love with your other half opens the door to many wonderful experiences and feelings. Intimacy is the culmination of these relationships, but it should not become the meaning and rule of a happy life.

Communication with each other, reflections on this topic, the search for necessary answers will make any family wise and enlightened in these matters. And when there is knowledge and understanding, then feelings and instincts are easily controlled and subordinated to reason and will.

God wants to give His blessing and preserve the joy of marriage if husband and wife will seek His wisdom. The Creator made intimacy for the joy and closeness of spouses, but it requires wisdom, self-control, and constant seeking of God’s will. Choose for yourselves which path is closer to you, and do not fall into extremes, even in the matter of self-control. Do not be someone else’s conscience. “...Let each be fully convinced in his own mind” (Romans 14:5).

The honeymoon is only the beginning. But if husband and wife learn to preserve love and respect, their “honeymoon” can last a lifetime.

1. Please read Proverbs 25:16; 30:9,15; Ephesians 4:17-19; Luke 6:25; 1 Corinthians 6:19-20; Amos 3:3; 2 Timothy 3:1-5; 1 Timothy 5:6; Romans 14:5; Proverbs 5:15-19; 23:15-21; Ezekiel 16:49; 1 Corinthians 4:8; Galatians 5:22-23; Deuteronomy 24:5 in the light of this lesson.

2. What did you understand from this topic?

3. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

4. What is a “honeymoon” in your understanding?

5. Should such topics be considered in the light of the Bible?

6. Are we accountable to God for the strength and resources that He has placed in our bodies?

7. Is God interested in how we care for our health and the health of our household?

8. Did you learn anything useful in this lesson?

9. Is it important to understand the laws by which my body lives?

10. Do you think there is a connection between my body and psyche? Will bodily diseases affect mental health?

11. Should one abstain from everything just in case, so as not to sin?

12. What extremes can occur in those who misunderstand this lesson?

13. What should be done if God calls for self-control, but hormones draw us toward pleasure? Philippians 2:13.

14. Since everything is so complicated, perhaps it is better not to create a family?