The Ongoing Family Council

Even before the wedding we agreed to meet once a week to discuss all the issues concerning our relationship. And these very meetings led us to the decision to create a family union and unite our two lives into one.

For such gatherings we chose a convenient time and always remembered that on that day and at that hour we would not plan any other matters, but only our communication with one another.

Although we did not stop communicating on other days and at other times, our pre-marital council was a very blessed time, which we joyfully awaited, to immerse ourselves in each other and discover something new about ourselves and about the one we were dealing with.

For our meetings we chose Wednesday and decided to begin our gathering at 7:00 p.m. This day was convenient for both of us, and we planned all our affairs in such a way that nothing and no one would distract us. Even though we did not yet live together, we had the opportunity to meet for such conversations. And when that was not possible, we called each other and spoke by phone.

I noticed that when you set aside a special time to get to know your friend and invite God, something wonderful happens in these conversations. It feels as though our hearts are intertwined into something very strong, in order to reveal to us the important facets of one another.

When the family was formed, I did not forget our custom and decided to continue it already in our family union. We had an agreement that we would continue to hold our meetings and do everything possible so that no other events would interfere with that time. Of course, we could not foresee everything that might await us ahead, but we decided that our meetings should be most important to us and always remain a priority. And if something interfered, then in that case we could hold them by phone or on the following day.

The wedding was over, and our first family Wednesday came. I reminded my wife about our meeting, and she responded affirmatively that she was ready and awaited it with joy.

And so the day came when the time arrived for the two of us. Though we were not separated and were always in communication, doing much together, and were even preparing for our wedding trip, still on Wednesday evening we set everything aside and sat at our table in the kitchen. The phones were turned off, all tasks completed, and I sat across from the one who had said to me, “Yes.” Bowing our knees, we asked for God’s blessing and presence in our fellowship.

I took the initiative to lead the meeting and proposed the rules for these conversations. It was suggested that we discuss all questions relating to our family, our relationship, and everything connected with our union. At this time we would not talk about anyone else, but only about each other, sharing thoughts and feelings on this subject, putting forward proposals and grievances. My wife nodded affirmatively at all my statements and added her own corrections and clarifications to my speech. Although I saw that she valued these meetings no less than I, I still decided to express my expectations and establish rules that would suit both of us.

It was decided:

* To hold our meeting for two and a half hours and extend this time only when necessary;

* To let the other speak, respecting their opinion and point of view;

* To write down important decisions and thoughts;

* To forget at that time about all tasks, arguments, and quarrels, if any, and gather regardless;

* To not eat during this time;

* To not be distracted by outside things;

* To do everything with love.

Then my wife added her proposals: to have time before the meeting to eat dinner, wash, tidy up the house, and gather in festive clothing, and not in night pajamas, work clothes, or in a naked state.

I took all this into account, and we moved on to family matters. Not knowing what awaited us ahead, I decided to make suggestions for the near future and live in the present day. Looking into the shining eyes of my dear half, I told her of my love, of how glad I was of her presence in my life, and of what new things had been revealed to me in her. I decided not to beg for kind words for myself, but to allow her heart to say to me whatever it was full of, while I shared what I had already discovered in our family. And, of course, I added into my words thanks to my Lord for such a wonderful gift, whom I could not only see, but also have, touch, and experience.

I wanted to invent new expressions to beautifully express all my feelings of joy and gratitude. I tried to clothe each of my words in an atmosphere of love and respect, to somehow convey to my beloved the idea that I loved her very much. And, judging by everything, she guessed it even without my words.

And when she began to speak, I tried not to miss a single word, seeking to understand the meaning of what was said. I could not even imagine how wonderful it is to love your wife and constantly think about what you can do for her happiness. And the most interesting thing was that I could immediately put all my ideas into practice, not fearing condemnation or misunderstanding.

We agreed not to tell anyone about what we discussed at our family councils. Our secrets should belong only to us and to God.

The only exception was the School of Agape Love, in which we decided to share our experiences and revelations, hoping that they might help someone and make someone’s life better and more beautiful.

We have no name, no age, no religious distinction, no nationality, no specific place of residence. But we love each other and we love God, and we keep His commandments, and we prepare for His coming, desiring that you too, friends, would be with us at His Second Coming to the Earth.

I very carefully listened to the words of my beloved and wrote down important thoughts in theses, so that I could later reread and rethink them, and in a prayerful spirit accept all that would serve to strengthen our unity. I would have liked to record all our conversations on a recorder, but we decided not to tie our relationship to technical means, but to live simply and independently.

Sometimes I heard in my wife’s proposals something I did not agree with, but I did not interrupt her speech. Instead, I noted these questions for myself to later discuss them more specifically or rethink what I had heard. I understand that my heart is deceitful and desperately wicked, and therefore I greatly fear any such manifestation in our relationship. Choosing love and friendship, I decided to build all our communication in this light and to resolve all issues in such a spirit. I cannot demand this from my wife or my friends, but I always subconsciously expect it, sincerely rejoicing when it is present.

How pleasant it is when your dear one confidently tells you of her unconditional love and desires to be established in it no matter what. Such an attitude resounds in every word and is present in every small deed.

All our first family councils were like the breaking of a dam, where we poured waterfalls of our love upon one another, bathing in these wonderful waters and rejoicing in such a blessing.

1. Please read Proverbs 21:30; Job 12:13; 1 Corinthians 16:14; Psalm 33:11; 73:24; 111:1-3; 119:24; Proverbs 12:11; 13:10; 15:22; 27:9; Ecclesiastes 4:13; Isaiah 9:6; 46:10; John 15:12; Ephesians 4:1-3; 5:25 in the light of this lesson.

2. What did you understand from this topic?

3. What other verses came to your mind?

4. What is the purpose of a family council?

5. Can one live without such gatherings?

6. How many issues do you think can be resolved at a family council?

7. Should we respect another’s opinion and viewpoint?

8. Do family councils have authority in Heaven? (Matthew 18:18).

9. Does God take into account our earthly decisions made at a family council?

10. Should we invite God to our councils?

11. Can I better know my life partner by counseling with them on different matters?

12. What should I do if I disagree with my spouse’s opinion?

13. What should I do if there has never been anything in my family like what this lesson describes, and perhaps never will be?

14. If my spouse does not want to have a council with me, can I have one with friends?

15. Is it God’s will for families to hold such councils?