Family Finances

Every morning in our home began with prayers of thanksgiving for all the blessings that the Lord had prepared for us for the new day. And every evening we thanked God for everything we had experienced and endured during the day. We also asked for wisdom on how to be happy in our family and how to manage our household.

At the wedding, we were given money, part of which was given to God, part went to cover wedding expenses, and the remainder we set aside for our future. In addition to these funds, I had small savings that I was not in a hurry to spend. As for my wife’s financial situation, I did not ask.

Our life together showed the necessity of acquiring many things we needed for daily life. We discussed all upcoming purchases together and then bought what was necessary.

Our trips also cost money, and we were spending twice as much on food as when I lived alone.

I worked in a construction company, and my wife, due to moving into my house—which I was renting cheaply on the outskirts of the city—left her job, since it was too far for her to commute. I did not inquire about my beloved’s finances and handled all financial matters myself, but over time I realized we needed to discuss this topic and understand how we would live and on what.

I suggested holding an emergency family council to sort out the money issue. My wife agreed, and after asking for God’s guidance in prayer, we sat down at the table of negotiations.

First, I explained how much money we had left in cash and how much was saved on the card. I also wrote down on paper all current expenses for rent, car insurance and fuel, our food, church offerings, and household needs. After calculating everything, it was revealed: if I lost my job, we would have enough for eight months of modest living without additional spending.

Then I asked my wife to share her financial history and her plans for the future, so I could understand how to plan further. She told me how much she earned, how much she saved, and how much she had on her card at that time. I wanted to understand how my wife viewed the management of money and listened very carefully to her report, without interrupting, but asking guiding questions. I noticed that during her story, my wife paused to think and made some decisions before saying something. She expressed the idea that we should each have personal money to spend at our discretion, and also a joint family fund, replenished from our main income.

During our discussion, it became clear that the financial issue was not so simple, and there were many disagreements about resource management. I suggested asking God for special wisdom in this matter, and we continued to discuss.

I shared my understanding, expressing my desire for us to have everything in common and transparent, deciding together where and what to spend. My wife disagreed, saying we would lose personal independence in small matters, and this would cause many quarrels. I believed that love would cover everything, and it was not worth worrying about. I knew how it was done in my parental home, while my wife had her own ideas. I noticed a conflict arising and suggested consulting other brothers and sisters in faith to see how they managed their households and who was the main manager of finances.

We chose some believing friends and arranged a meeting with them. After talking about our issue, we gained a clearer picture than we had imagined at first. We realized that each family solves such issues in its own way, but there are common principles that are the same for everyone. We wrote down the main thoughts and then discussed them at home. We were read quotes from wise books, and we began to understand what God expects from us and what kind of stewards He wants us to be.

We decided not to argue about conflicting issues, but first to discuss them with friends, drawing our own conclusions.

I did not want to dictate in my family, but I realized that in some matters my wife would not yield, and I decided to leave it in God’s hands, asking Him to soften my wife’s heart or change my view.

Together we understood that ultimately all money belongs to God, and we will take nothing from this world. It was decided:

1. To give a tithe from every income to God, and offerings and donations would be determined by us based on income size and visible needs for various projects.

2. The husband would be responsible for earning money to support the family.

3. We would have a joint family fund consisting of the husband’s salary, from which current bills and family expenses would be paid.

4. Since God will require an account from the husband for managing family finances, he must be the chief steward of all money.

5. The wife must give a weekly report to the husband about what she bought and spent from the family fund and keep accounting records of all income and expenses.

6. Savings for emergencies must be set aside regularly as a separate fund, available but untouchable otherwise.

7. Each of us would have a personal fund, from which we could spend money as we wished, without reporting to the other.

8. If the wife had no personal income, she would receive from the joint fund a fixed monthly amount for personal needs.

9. Each month, funds would be set aside as income allowed, to improve living conditions or build our own home.

10. We would have no debts to anyone and would not spend more than we earned.

11. New points would be added to these rules as necessary.

We recorded these resolutions as rules for OUR family, so that in case of conflict, we could refer to them and make amendments as needed. We realized that even in this matter, we could agree in a friendly spirit.

It was also revealed that love of money could quickly destroy our relationship with each other and with God, so we entrusted this issue to Him, asking Him to cleanse our hearts from all unrighteousness.

The next issue was deciding how much we needed for life and what was not necessary. We knelt down, asking for wisdom from above, and began our discussion. This question again caused many disagreements, and it was very interesting to see how two natural egoists came to common decisions, which even God should approve. The spirit of mutual love helped each of us patiently listen to the other’s opinion and arguments. The most controversial points were postponed for the future.

We realized that we were hindered by the influence of wealthy friends who allowed themselves certain things we were not yet able to afford, but we wanted not to lag behind. Yet even here we were able to agree and decided not to exhaust ourselves with unbearable work for money, but to place our spiritual and physical health first.

1. Please read Ps. 118:36; Heb. 13:15; 1 Tim. 3:2-4; 6:10; Prov. 2:6; 14:8; 15:27; 23:23; 28:16; 1 Pet. 5:2; 1 Thess. 4:11-12; James 1:5; Ex. 31:3; Rom. 12:10 in light of this lesson.

2. What did you understand from this topic?

3. What other Bible verses came to your mind?

4. Do you think that in a family where there is love, everything can be agreed upon?

5. Is it important for spouses to discuss the family budget together?

6. Should family values be imposed on others?

7. Can outside people with experience solve your family’s problems?

8. Can spouses plan their budget relying on constant help from parents?

9. Is the husband truly the chief steward in the family?

10. Do financial issues affect family happiness?

11. What if a spouse does not believe in God and has other values, claiming all of the wife’s salary?

12. Should each spouse have personal funds to be independent?

13. Do you think Heaven watches how and on what we spend our money? (Rom. 14:12)

14. Does God expect something for Himself from our means?

15. Why does God need our money if He already has everything?