We and God

If you ask any believing person to set their priorities, each will tell you that God is in first place, and the remaining places may be filled differently. Let us give a brief list of what is in your life:
Health, work, friends, home and household, God, hobbies, children, yourself, useful things, rest and tasty food. After you read this list, try to arrange its contents according to your understanding by priority, from the main to the less important. I think that God will end up in first place for you, and everything else will differ from the lists of other people.

Let us look into a happy family and find out how its members evaluate their lives.
Once I suggested to my beloved that we make a list of priorities, but in such a way that everything would be honest—as it really is—and not as it is “supposed” to be. We know what ought to be primary, but by our attitude we very precisely determine what truly stands in first place for us and what is less valuable. From the position of time, it is difficult to judge one’s priorities, because sleep and work consume the largest part of daily needs.

If in my personal life I can understand what place God occupies for me, then how am I to assess this within my family and our relationship? We decided together to sort this out.
God desires to have personal fellowship with us, and He speaks unambiguously about this, declaring that if He does not know us, then we will be lost for Eternity.

It would be wonderful to receive the visible Jesus as a guest, as at one time Lazarus’s sisters did. Christ loved to stay in their hospitable home and rest there from all His labors. But even there Martha and Mary had different priorities. Jesus treated their life position with understanding and judged no one for thinking this way or that, but He made it clear that where God truly stands in first place, He will help to set everything else in order rightly.

In our family we decided to place God at the head of everything. But questions arose as to this: if, according to Scripture, the Head of the husband is Christ, and the head of the wife is the husband, what should this look like in our priorities, and will God punish the wife for putting me in God’s place?

I by no means want to be at the head of her priorities, because I understand that each of us must have personal fellowship with God. And it must be constant and duly ordered. And if each of us will commune with the Lord, then we can bring the fruits of such a relationship into our family, seeing in this the essence of God.

Reflecting on what constitutes our fellowship with God, we understood what it is not:
— Attending church.

— Participating in spiritual ordinances.

— Reading the Bible.

— Our prayers for one another.

— Our ministry.

— Our healthy lifestyle.

— Our listening to spiritual information.

All this must be present in one’s life, and we do not refuse it, but such things are the natural consequence of the fact that each of us has, as a priority, personal fellowship with our Savior, which is defined by:

— My fellowship with Him about me.

— My fellowship with Him about Him.

— Our fellowship with Him about us.

When my wife and I decided to commune with one another, it turned out that our relationship—in which we best came to know one another—was formed according to this very same pattern. We spoke about me, we spoke about her, and we spoke about us, and everything else naturally flowed from what we were building for ourselves. Everything else is our deeds. And if we decide that our fellowship is that which it is not, then we will do many good and kind things, but we will not know one another nor understand the heart of our chosen one. Fellowship is the foundation of everything; it is that upon which everything can be built. And what should be in second place in our priorities? Here imagination and reality may suggest anything at all.

We discussed all our values and concluded that in this place should be we ourselves, each personally for himself or herself. Not in the sense of one’s egoism, but in thinking about one’s personal salvation, developing one’s faith, doing everything possible to enter Eternity, to acquire God’s Character and to possess Heavenly Love and wisdom.

It will be very easy for me to love my wife if, having a personal relationship with God, I begin to receive from Him love for my neighbor. I can take God into all spheres of my life and ask Him to participate in everything that I experience and do. My relationship with Him does not cease even when I sleep. I am God’s even in that state.

My wife and I also noticed that when everything is wonderful in our personal relationship with God, then this same marvelous spirit spreads to our family. And even if something goes wrong, it does not upset us much, but urges us to seek the answer in God and in His wisdom.

Our personal health must also be in its proper place, and it is worth preserving it by studying the laws by which our soul and body live. Health should be preserved and not squandered on temporary pleasures. We know that there are eight basic factors of a healthy lifestyle, which should have their proper place in our home, being understood in the right light. If health is lost, nothing else will replace it. One must care for health and keep it in the best condition.

We also decided that in our family personal relationships with God must be respected at all times. This means that if I decide to retire for secret prayer, no one should hinder this. Likewise, I will respect my wife’s choice. And in our common fellowship we can together reflect on what the Lord is doing for us and how wonderful He is in our family. By our personal relationships with God we do not abolish our family worship and joint study of the Bible. They are in their place and accomplish what God decides and what we desire to receive.

The choice of the congregation in which we would carry out our ministry and where we could worship God together with our co-believers sparked a heated discussion. Each of us had friendly relationships with brethren, and we did not want to lose them because of a move to another church. But we resolved this question as well after our common prayers, when the Lord showed us what should be paid attention to and what should be changed. We desired that all our personal friends henceforth be our mutual friends, and we would love and receive them. And if they begin to bring division and enmity into our union, then we will decide together what to do about it, but we will not allow friends to take the chief place in our hearts.

While we did not have children, it was difficult for us to determine where to place them, but we decided that if the Lord gives them, we will raise them not for this world, but for Eternal life.

We had already learned to agree about everything, and in the matter of priorities we were likewise able to understand what is primary for us, and then to verify what actually stands in first place. The mind understands what ought to be primary, while the heart tells what in fact is in first place for us—what we love and value most, and on what we do not begrudge our free time.

Questions for Reflection

Please read Isa. 40:25–31; 42:8; Ps. 58:17; 100:1–4; 102:1–5; 104:4; Rev. 3:20; John 8:32; 1 Cor. 15:34; Amos 3:3; Mark 8:36; Hab. 2:14; Luke 12:29–32; Eph. 5:22–28; James 4:10; Prov. 4:5–9 in light of this lesson.
What did you understand from this topic?
What other Bible verses came to your memory?
Have you tried arranging priorities in your life?
How can one understand that God is in first place for you?
Can words about setting priorities differ from the real picture?
What should I do if I do not know what is in which place for me? Is it really that important to determine?
How can one know God within the framework of the family?
Does our love for one another testify that God is in our relationship?
Should one respect the choice of one’s spouse and not put obstacles in the way of fellowship with God?
If for someone God is in first place, but everything else in the home does not interest him, will this be a blessing for the family? 1 Tim. 5:8.
Do you think a person’s priorities will change before and after creating a family?
Can my personal relationship with God become the common possession of my family? In what way can this be useful in the family?
What role does Love play in one’s personal knowledge of God?
What role does God play in my love for my family?