Our Home Is Our Fortress

For me, the place of my residence was always something where I could rest, eat quietly, wash, and sleep. I did not pay much attention to the coziness and comfort of my dwelling. It resembled more a warehouse of what I had accumulated in my life. Although I loved order in the house, I did not consider this place to be something in which it was worth investing my time and money. When you live in rented housing, it is even less desirable to improve it, and cleanliness and order are usually enough so as not to be ashamed in front of guests. And if you have to move, no one will reimburse me for my investments in repair and improvement.

Observing my wife’s behavior, I noticed that for her our home was something special. It was the place where she felt like a queen—of course, if there was a king beside her. At first, such thinking was incomprehensible to me, and I began to observe other family people and take interest in their attitude toward their home. It turned out that many women have a special attachment to their place of residence and a desire to decorate their home. At the beginning of our life together, my wife often went to her parents’ house, where she had her own room, which her parents had preserved in the same form as it had been when their daughter lived there. I was always surprised with what delight my wife entered this place, hugged her stuffed toys, and lay on her bed. But over time, she increasingly preferred to stay in our home, bringing into it her personal belongings from her parents.

When we discussed together our interests and attachments to our place of residence, at first it was difficult for my beloved to determine where her home was, and very often by that word she meant her parents’ house. But over time her mind was restructured, and our house became her home. She was not at all concerned that this dwelling was not in our ownership. She immediately determined that the wallpaper was not to her taste and urgently needed to be replaced. I was against such a waste of money and energy, but she so convincingly explained to me how important it was for her that I realized resistance was useless.

Her joy and gratitude did not cease to amaze me when our walls were transformed. In my eyes, this undertaking made no sense, but she, with such enthusiasm, stroked the new wallpaper and beamed with happiness. I understood that I still brought her greater joy, but the additional coziness helped her to keep up her inspiration even when I went to work.

Over time, the question arose of new kitchen furniture. At first, I was categorically against it, because I thought that the existing stove and sink were enough to cook something, and vegetables could be cut on the dining table, which greatly upset my wife, and she repeatedly cited as an example the kitchens of our friends, where everything was compact, cozy, and beautiful. I agreed that theirs was better than ours, but I could not understand why we needed to invest in all this when we already had the most necessary things for life. And where would we put all these things if we decided to move? I even complained in my personal prayers to God about such requests from my wife, hoping that something would change. But my wife was relentless, and many days later I had to give in when an advertising newspaper came with a very cheap offer of beautiful kitchen furniture.

I decided that I would choose the kitchen myself, since I was the main breadwinner. But in the furniture store, I realized that I was the most incompetent fellow in this matter and had no reasonable answers to the numerous questions of the seller. And my wife already had the whole plan in her head, and she clearly knew where and what should stand and what color it should be. I also decided to show initiative and order a table of a special size and shape, which would adjoin the corner of the kitchen and be of the same color as the countertop. We spent half a day in the store, placing the order and choosing household appliances that were built into the kitchen furniture. The final cost turned out to be three times higher than the advertised price, but there was no way out. Since we did not have enough money for the purchase, we arranged a loan and decided to repay it within a year with God’s help.

A few weeks later our order was delivered, and for the first time in my life I began to assemble and install a kitchen. My wife’s joy knew no bounds, and I resigned myself and began to see the advantage of such an innovation.

When the kitchen was assembled, there were a lot of empty cabinets, which I decided to use for storing books and tools, but my wife objected, making it clear that this was her territory, where she herself would decide what to do with it. I was surprised at how quickly all these cabinets were filled with everything necessary.

Communicating with friends from church, I realized that all wives are like this, and they exchange with each other their achievements and ideas, and also think a lot about the improvement of their homes, considering it the most important thing.

When our kitchen took its place in the house, there was an empty space between the refrigerator and the wall, where I decided to put mops and brooms, but my wife wished to buy a narrow cabinet, and we again went to the furniture store. When we drove up to it, we saw empty halls. It turned out that they had gone bankrupt, and the bank was selling off all the contents at low prices. And in the kitchen department, it was empty, and in the middle of the hall there stood one single cabinet of our color and size at a symbolic price. We were surprised at such a miracle and immediately bought it.

All my modest furniture in the house was gradually replaced with more comfortable and beautiful pieces.

Over time, I got used to the fact that our home is a special place for my wife, where she feels like a fish in water, and my task is to improve this “aquarium” and maintain in it the spiritual atmosphere of love and friendship.

It was very difficult for me to introduce such innovations into my life, since I understood that everything would burn at the Second Coming, but life taught me to make concessions to my wife, listening to her iron arguments about how important it is to have coziness in the home. But there was something right in this as well. And when I shared my concerns with our pastor, he finally reassured me, saying that his wife was the same and that it is difficult to understand, but it must be accepted, although in some families there are exceptions.

Understanding such a structure of my wife’s thinking, I learned to use this quality of her soul for my benefit, and when I wanted to especially please her, I began to do something around the house or offer ideas for improving our dwelling. Although it was a pity to invest in a rented apartment, what would you not do for a loved one?

They say that one quickly gets used to good things, and that happened to me as well. I got used to the fact that in our house it is cozy, clean, everything is delicious, and there reigns a special atmosphere of God’s presence. I also noticed that the Lord does not leave our home, even when we buy new furniture for it, and gives us the blessing to enjoy the fruit of our labors, while never ceasing to prepare us for the coming events. And I also saw that wherever we appear, my wife begins to make it cozy according to her taste.

Oh, these women!

1. Please read Gen.2:18; 1Tim.6:6; Phil.4:12-13; Eccl.5:12-19; 6:1-6; 11:8-9; 1Jn.2:15-17; Ps.48:17-20; Prov.21:17; Luke 12:16-31; Deut.26:11 in the light of this lesson.

2. What did you understand from this topic?

3. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

4. Is it worth knowing and remembering the difference in male and female thinking and outlook on life?

5. Does a person have power and freedom over the use of their money?

6. Is the improvement of one’s dwelling something bad and wrong?

7. Is it right to make everyone equal according to your standards?

8. What should be done if the wife desires to decorate her home, and the husband considers it unnecessary?

9. Is it important to understand what is more important to a woman and support her in this matter?

10. Do you think the saved will decorate and improve their heavenly dwellings?

11. What should a wife do if her husband does not give her money for new furniture and does not intend to change anything in the house?

12. Does Heaven approve or condemn us when we wish to comfortably and beautifully improve the place where we live?

13. At what moment does the improvement of housing become sinful and cause God’s disapproval? (Hag.1:4,9).

14. Does God desire that we have wisdom in the matter of our well-being and management of entrusted resources?

15. Should every desire of the wife be carried out without fail?