Humor in the Family

A sense of humor is a God-given gift embedded in human nature that helps to resolve many issues very quickly, smooth out “sharp corners,” destroy the schemes of the evil one, find ways to a person’s heart, change the mood, and bring joy into life.

We should not confuse a sense of humor with buffoonery, which is condemned by the Word of God. Humor is part of human nature. Everyone has a sense of humor, and everyone understands it. But if any gift of God is driven to extremity or fanaticism, this can be regarded as sin and become a curse for the soul.

A sense of humor is the ability to see positive sides in everything, to emphasize them, and to present them to others in a positive light. It is the ability to convey complex information in an understandable way, using visual aids and helps. It is the opportunity to highlight important details in life and everyday living so that listeners pay attention to them. It is refined sensitivity to the mood and perception of the interlocutor, able to find access to the heart, break down barriers, bring out the bright sides of life, introduce friendly notes, and create an atmosphere of optimism.

We are made in such a way that we are drawn to people with whom we can have a fun time, converse joyfully, and receive a charge of positivity to improve our mood and quality of life. Cheerful people possess the gift of influencing the hormonal system of other people, thereby increasing the level of endorphin and serotonin, removing stress and tension.

The family is the very best platform for developing a sense of humor, where no one is afraid to look silly or absurd. The understanding that humor is appropriate in family relationships and should be present in our interaction should not become a reason for the artificial production of this gift.

Internet culture greatly contributes to teaching us frivolity, vulgarity, foolishness, ignorance, and buffoonery under the guise of humor. This unclean spirit appeals to our carnal nature, and if my mind is saturated with such information, then this spirit will manifest itself everywhere. There is a very fine line between innocent joy and sinful buffoonery, which only the Holy Spirit can determine.

A cheerful atmosphere is welcomed in our family, and we are tuned to positivity, jokes, and merriment. But there are also serious things that we never try to treat ironically or turn into a joke. This concerns the science of Salvation, relationships with God, and any Biblical narratives, which we set apart as holy things to be treated with reverence and respect. No jokes on this topic are welcomed or supported. Also, if any of our friends experiences grief, we treat this with particular seriousness. In other cases we are open to joy in the Holy Spirit.

I do not know how this happens, but in communicating with those whom you love, the heart always prompts some feature of these relationships in order to express a positive thought in a cheerful key. And this evokes a responsive smile and creates a pleasant atmosphere in communication. Usually the interlocutor who also has a sense of humor very quickly finds appropriate cheerful words in order to make his own good contribution to our relationship.

Humor in our family makes our home bright, freeing us from many complexes and reducing various anxieties to nothing. Although we are not deprived of the choice of what mood to spend our personal time with, our mutual cheerfulness helps us choose what will delight the heart and become a fellow traveler in good spirits.

If you think about it, God is not a stranger to a sense of humor either, since He put it in us, creating us in His likeness. Now a very serious stage of Christ’s ministry in the Heavenly Sanctuary is underway, and jokes are out of place there. But the time will come when sin will be removed and evil will not be. Then we will see how wonderful a God we have, and how wise and cheerful He is.

When King Solomon described his relationship with the Shulamite in the Song of Songs, then, I think, they exchanged in real life those images and comparisons about which we read with amazement, trying to understand what it looks like. And, most likely, it was very joyful for both of them to hear whom they resembled and to devise images in response, some of which have come down to us as an example of building a friendly family.

In our family we try and test everything we agree on, and we adhere to that from which we both feel good. In our communication there are many jokes and catchphrases that are understood only by the two of us, and we do not need extra words for explanation. But we keep this within the framework of our relationship. It also happens that, wishing to turn something into a joke, one of us begins to look very silly or demeans the other. Then this is immediately voiced, and a polite request “not to do this anymore” is made, which is received with humility and marked in memory as foolishness that should not be repeated.

Everything we experience together is our family heritage, and we do not share all this with others, although we often immerse ourselves in the world of pleasant memories to rejoice again in the blessings experienced earlier.

Our family humor unites my wife and me into one good team in which we can solve difficult tasks without unnecessary stress and tension. We remember all the good that we experience in our relationship and approach the solution of other issues with ease.

When you love God and love the one with whom you have decided to live your whole life, then this love makes all your jokes appropriate, kind, and wise, helping you also to shape your consciousness in a positive key. And then this same spirit of love can be very easily transferred into other communities, sharing the purity of thoughts in the simplicity of heart. Pure humor is appropriate everywhere, and this speaks of a developed intellect capable of noticing important details and presenting them as understandable images.

What do parents do when their little children fall into despondency? They try to cheer up their sad offspring and know how to do it. And usually humor, love, and respect for the child very quickly solve his problem.

What do we call those who are deprived of a sense of humor? “Dry sticks” or “gray mice,” which we will never say about cheerful people.

“A merry heart does good like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones” (Prov. 17:22).

It is written about Jesus that “He shall see of the travail of His soul, and shall be satisfied…” (Isa. 53:11). How do you imagine our Lord in the light of this description? I think it will be the most beautiful face with a radiant smile. Jesus will be ready to receive anyone who wishes into His arms and to say to each personally something so cheerful that it will bring immeasurable joy to the heart. And if we consider that the Lord is perfect in everything, and every one of His words has a special meaning and wisdom, then I think He will vividly open to us such depths of His satisfaction with us that we will be amazed at the possibilities that can be revealed and known only in the spirit of mutual and pure Agape.

If someone practices a different model of relationships in his family, this does not embarrass us. We build our country according to our laws and rules, which suit us very well.

1. Please read Eccl. 3:11–13; 8:15; 11:8–10; Prov. 8:29–31; 15:13–17; 17:22; Deut. 12:12; 16:21; 24:5; 28:47; Ps. 18:9; 32:11; 96:11; Isa. 65:18; Acts 2:44–47; James 5:13; Rev. 19:7 in light of this lesson.

2. What other Bible verses came to your mind?

3. What did you understand from this topic?

4. What is a sense of humor?

5. Does the Bible prohibit merriment in the simplicity of heart?

6. What is the difference between merriment and buffoonery? (Eph. 5:4).

7. Have you experienced cases when appropriate jokes brought a joyful spirit into your life and relieved tension in relationships?

8. Does it not embarrass you that one of the components of the fruit of the Holy Spirit is joy?

9. How do you imagine joy without a smile, merriment, and optimism?

10. What is the difference between jokes and humor in the family and the same behavior in church?

11. Is it permissible to smile during worship?

12. How can a gift of God be driven to extremity or fanaticism and be made into a curse?

13. Are internet gags and fun entertainments part of God’s plan for cheering the heart?

14. Do you understand the difference and distinction in humor between its holy and unclean manifestations?

15. Is a serious look always appropriate in a happy family?

16. Does a happy atmosphere in the family imply something joyful and fun?