Unity of the family in diversity

Each of us has locks in our house, thanks to which we can close something and make it inaccessible to others. A lock helps preserve material valuables intact, can limit access to my personal space and perform other functions. It can be built-in or padlock.

And for this lock to work correctly, it needs a key that fits exactly it. In union with this key all functions of the lock work properly, and it excellently copes with its purpose. Without a key this complex mechanism becomes unsuitable and can only pretend that it exists, but it will exist only either in open or in closed form. A foreign key will not solve the lock's task, and a multitude of other locks will not help it work as intended.

Likewise, a key by itself is not capable of independently doing what it accomplishes in union with a lock. And two keys or more will never solve that task which only a key and lock together can handle. Foreign keys or locks also do not solve expected tasks.

A lock by its internal structure is a more complex mechanism, which sometimes can become unusable or rust, or need lubrication. A key, unlike a lock, is simpler in its structure and more stable. The owner of this complex mechanism always carries the key with him or stores it in a reliable place, so that at the necessary time he can perform the assigned task for which the key and lock were created.

I like weather when the sun shines, it's warm outside, a quiet wind pleasantly strokes my skin, and birds sing all around. When I go outside and it's raining, or frosts have come, or clouds have covered the whole sky, this doesn't embarrass or upset me. I know that the sun exists, that it hasn't gone anywhere, that however cloudy or rainy it may be around, this is a temporary phenomenon that needs to be endured.

Depending on the region where I live, the weather around me can differ drastically from those places where it's always warm and everything grows year-round. But this doesn't embarrass me either. I adapt to the weather conditions of the area and am not surprised by any phenomena, even if they are very unexpected. I decided that nature has no bad weather, and this decision allows me to always be in a good mood and accept what happens around me. And you can always count on the fact that at any time of year or day, at any temperature, I will be as joyful and friendly as in warm season.

It is said that it is not good for man to be alone. And I internally understand that when I live in solitude, I lack something or, better to say, someone. And this someone cannot be just anyone, just to be. I understand that there must be correspondence to those spiritual requirements and my personal perception that are placed in me by God.

My heart determines the person who suits me most, and informs the mind when this corresponds to my expectations. And the mind begins to study and seek paths to the heart of one with whom together we could very successfully solve God's tasks that He has set for us. And the Lord expects that in union with Him and with each other we will perform everything correctly.

Taking as my wife the one I chose, I have a general idea of what she is like overall, but at the same time I heard that I am marrying all seasons, and unexpected weather that can change with amazing speed. I don't want to belittle the structure of the female mechanism by this, but understanding that we are different, I don't expect that this will be a copy of me who will think like me and approach many questions in complete agreement with me. Such knowledge helps me tune myself to any weather in my house and be stable in performing those duties that God placed on me: to love, care, warm, nourish, please, be faithful and tender, not expecting anything in return except that she too will somehow participate in building our common happiness.

And so, the wedding took place. And I now see not by hearsay, but from personal experience, that a completely opposite and unpredictable in feelings beautiful person appeared in my house, with whom I feel very good and interesting.

I see how different we are, but this doesn't prevent us from creatively approaching the performance of common tasks and solving different problems. We are drawn to each other, and in these embraces of love and trust we can do amazing things that are beyond the power of loners.

They say that children are born in the union of man and woman, very similar to them. We believe in this and actively wait for when such a miracle will happen in our family too. These new family members cannot appear by themselves. They need us for this, such different ones, but very suitable for solving this task.

My thinking and some male features suit me very well, but sometimes don't fit into female logic. They say that they have some hemispheres in their head arranged differently than ours. Everything should be laid out on shelves for me, in strict sequence, and I try to bring this order into relationships. But, for example, women's days come, and I understand that I need to wait out this time and calmly do what is necessary.

Sometimes I find a cozy place for myself and occupy it to think about nothing and just sit like this. Fishing helps very much in such cases. But I don't eat fish, and therefore have to conduct such events at home. And my wife can't understand how it's possible to think about nothing. Apparently, I'm hiding something. But I'm just rebooting this way for new deeds and victories.

Good for me if my wife will also study me and understand that I am not her, but am ready to serve her and please in many questions, while having my own life position and my own views on things.

I don't always understand the hints with which my wife wants to achieve some results. If she says she's cold, then I immediately look for warm things to save her body from incomprehensible frosts at +20. And she's offended that I didn't understand that she just needs to be embraced and in such position warm her soul.

And offenses are probably the main weapon of influence that my other half brought into our family from her childhood, and she tries to somehow influence me with it or achieve something. But I understood that this is a means of manipulation, and therefore don't give in to such provocations and in prayerful spirit wait for when the Lord Himself will remove this root of pride from our relationships. Of course, sometimes I also express my attitude toward "inflated soap bubbles" of female offenses, but at the same time I don't surrender my positions, which very suits my spouse, and she will certainly sometime come to herself, and everything falls into place.

It's worth understanding that every woman has her own temperament, which will never change. If she's quick in everything, then she'll be the same in the family. If she's slow, then even if the whole world around is collapsing, she won't start living and acting faster. The same can be said about us. Therefore watch what you choose.

1. Please read Amos 3:3; Eccl. 9:9; 1 Cor. 7:33; Gen. 2:22-24; Prov. 5:15-19; 11:16; 12:4; 14:1; 15:8; 25:24; 31:10-31; Eph. 5:22-33; 1 Pet. 3:7-9 in light of this lesson.

2. What other verses from the Bible came to your memory?

3. What interesting thing did you find for yourself in this lesson?

4. What is family unity? How and in what does it manifest?

5. Do you like God's plan for family structure, where two opposite beings become one whole person? Gen. 5:2.

6. Why did the Lord create man and woman different and at the same time give them attraction to each other?

7. Is God present in all family relationships among believing spouses? How to understand that He is in our family?

8. Is unity in diversity possible? If yes, then how to determine that it exists?

9. What do you know about features of men that only they have?

10. God's word is written in Gen. 3:16: "To the woman He said: '... your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.'" How can these ordinances lead the family to unity?

11. What to do if I want to have unity in the family, but there isn't any?

12. What could be the reason if husband and wife pray for unity in the family, but there isn't any, but there is constant struggle and conflicts?

13. If there is mutual love in relationships, will there also be unity there?

14. Will the Lord give wisdom to that family in which husband and wife want to correspond to God's plan, but do nothing for this?

15. If I consider my concepts about family happiness correct and don't want to know another point of view, what happiness will I build?