Family Offenses

If we try to understand why family relationships are destroyed and find the root of evil, we will understand that the offense of one or two partners has closed all paths to reconciliation and deprived them of the desire to fix anything.

Offense is one of the most common types of pride, which affects the mind and closes God's Spirit's access to a broken heart. Offense blocks consciousness and common sense, giving the carnal nature power over the will and feelings of the offended person.

Offense can be caused by wrong behavior, insult, or causing pain from the spouse, which accordingly causes a bad reaction to such treatment. This reaction can be expressed by retaliatory aggression, irritation, despondency, or withdrawal for a prolonged time. A lump comes to the victim's throat because of crying injustice, and the mind refuses to seek a solution to this problem, closing all access to the heart. And the only way out in such a state of mind is to break off relationships and distance oneself from the source of pain.

And if spouses are forced to sleep in the same bed due to lack of another place to spend the night, then a bed of any width will seem very cramped to them. In such situations, many decide to somehow smooth over the conflict through physical intimacy, letting feelings and hormonal experiences overshadow the pain of offenses and be distracted by something pleasant. But the root of the problem remains, and there's no getting away from it. The next conflict of interests and opinions brings even more pain and misunderstandings.

But one must somehow live. And what to do when I feel like a victim of crying injustice and consider myself absolutely right in my view of the situation? And in such a state of soul, I seek allies and like-minded people who will support me, justly condemn the offender, and give "good" advice on how best to take revenge for the harm caused to my soul.

Do you think it's possible to solve urgent problems with such a spirit and do it correctly? Yet many for some reason choose this path and then carry deep wounds within themselves, not even guessing that another way out of any crisis is possible.

During meetings and dates, people in love had enough wisdom and restraint to go around sharp corners and not notice many things, but when similar misunderstandings happen in the family, for some reason one doesn't want to approach them wisely.

It happens that restraint or weakness of character helps avoid conflict situations and not react immediately, but accumulate all offenses in the heart, believing that they will somehow leave on their own. But sometime this cup also overflows and an explosion occurs that destroys everything. And if both sides in the family are easily offended and consider themselves right in every respect, then finding a wise solution can be simply impossible.

Offense can also arise when I create in my mind a model of how a person should behave and react to some action. And when they act differently, this causes protest in me.

Time can also partially smooth over my offenses and draw my attention to other events, but it will not remove the problem of my heart.

There is a way out of this swamp into which pride drives the human soul deceived by the enemy. One must understand that any offense is sin that kills me and deprives me of the right to Eternity. No matter how right I consider myself, God does not welcome my offendedness in any form. The only thing I need is repentance and power from above for victory over myself. The spirit of forgiveness gives the Lord power to cleanse my heart from offense and malice, but this does not make me a victor. Victory comes only when I choose love for my opponent and in exactly this spirit begin to react to their behavior and attitude toward me.

There is another side of family offense - this is when my heart abides in God's love and wishes all household members good and happiness, while the opposite side does not have such a spirit and sees me as guilty in everything. Life on a powder keg results, which periodically explodes, bringing harm to itself. Then it calms down until the next explosion. Not every person likes to live in a minefield, but not everyone has a choice in this matter, so one has to resign oneself to such a fate and develop good thoughts and feelings within oneself.

Jesus was often surrounded by people who were offended at Him and demonstratively turned away from Him, but the Lord did not respond to these people in the same spirit. He had enough love for any trial, and He came out Victor from this struggle. Now He wants us to have the same power and the same spirit in the struggle with our carnal "I" and to react correctly to temptations from outside.

If I allow God to remove the root of offendedness from my heart and teach my will to forgive everyone and everything, and then fill me with His love, then there will be no talk of any divorces. Such thoughts will not even come to mind.

I don't always have the ability within myself to solve all my issues related to emotional experiences. With my mind I understand that I need to somehow live and react differently, but the heart acts faster and incorrectly. Then it can be difficult to fix something. Therefore, turning to a specialist in these matters can become a good solution to many problems.

Lonely people usually don't get offended due to the absence of an irritant. But this doesn't mean they are clean from such a spirit. However, in a state of loneliness, one can begin to learn the right things and become a victor before the battle begins. The fire of trials will come and expose all my weaknesses.

Offense is a dead animal in a clean spring. And this animal by its decomposition poisons everything around itself, so it's impossible to be healthy and happy, believing that this dead creature is safe for me and for those whom I give these waters to drink. One cannot ignore it. And only I can remove this corpse from my source of life if I understand how dangerous and poisonous it is.

But the saddest thing happens when I get used to my offendedness and even try to somehow love in such a state of spirit, convincing myself that I am a loving and pure-hearted Christian. And only eye salve from above will help me see my true condition.

The family is the most valuable institution in which happiness cannot reign if offense lives in it even in one of the spouses. Loving my offensive other half, I will be happy because I love, but I can never call my family happy when such a spirit is manifested.

We must build happiness together, watching that nothing unclean weaves into the harmony of our relationships. Our love for each other helps us see all dangers and immediately discuss all misunderstandings, finding a way out in apology, forgiveness, respect, and tender care for the other's feelings. We don't give the enemy the slightest chance to push us toward offenses, because it's more interesting for us to love each other and yield than to fight for our rights and be offended. Love gives the right answer to any disagreement and shows the more excellent way. And most often love simply doesn't give cause for the arising of an unclean spirit. Why give power to what destroys and poisons?

1. Please read Matt. 5:44; 6:14-15; 18:32-35; Rom. 12:9-10; Lev. 25:17; James 4:5-8; Gen. 16:5; Jer. 6:6-7; Lam. 3:59; Ezek. 45:9; Mal. 2:16; 1Cor. 6:7-8; 1Pet. 1:22 in light of this lesson.

2. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

3. What did you understand from this topic?

4. What is offense?

5. Should one distinguish pride from emotional or physical trauma or pain?

6. What kind of offense is discussed in the lesson?

7. If someone in the family intentionally causes someone pain and offense, will the injured party be guilty of their offense?

8. Do you know such people who are offended at the whole world and are always dissatisfied with something? Is it pleasant for you to be in their company?

9. What benefit does offense bring to family relationships?

10. How to fight the bitter feeling of injustice when my other half doesn't agree with me and has their own opinion?

11. What curse does the spirit of offense bring into the family?

12. Whose side is God on in family quarrels?

13. How can love solve issues with offenses?

14. Is it easy for you to love those at whom you are bitterly offended?

15. Is your offense a valid reason for breaking off relationships?