Our Family World

My family is a separate state that my wife and I created ourselves and within which we continue to improve existing laws, expand our borders, identify crimes, and do much else to make life in this country safe, comfortable, and bring much joy to both of us.

At first we didn't know what we were building, but we dreamed of something good, like in the movies. However, we realized that someone else's family model might be interesting, but in reality it doesn't fit into our size and expectations at all.

Living with parents in their countries, we adopted some family traditions and values and tried to establish them in our home too, but after small conflicts we understood that we need to create our own republic that will suit both of us.

Life in the church and our active participation in church events also brought corresponding norms of behavior and worldview into our world, which we decided to make part of our country. But over time we realized that not every public behavior is acceptable in personal relationships. Also, not everything we allow ourselves to do at home is decent to display publicly.

We are not opponents of something new and interesting, and we always want to try everything in our personal sphere, choose what's suitable from this and then stick to it.

God's law is the foundational criterion for our country of all our internal regulations and traditions. We make sure that everything is within the framework of God's approval and blessing. And when these boundaries exist and are observed, then within their limits we can do, build, decide, and plan everything we desire.

Our country is located not only in our home, but also in our hearts, and we always take it with us wherever we go together, without imposing our decisions on others.

In our relationships there are things that we never bring outside and that we never tell anyone about. For example, our appearance corresponds to Dress Reform, and we never, even as a joke, when we are completely alone, exchange clothes with each other. But when we are just the two of us, and no one sees us, we allow ourselves to wear very short clothing or not wear it at all. We won't allow ourselves to appear before you in such a form, but when we are alone, this doesn't embarrass us, and sometimes even makes us happy. The presence of a third person in our home immediately puts us within the framework of decency, and we make sure that all parts of the body hidden from outside eyes always remain such, even when we bend over or raise our hands up.

We don't put our intimate relationships, caresses, kisses, and the like on public display, although we don't mind practicing this and looking for something new and pleasant when we are completely alone. The most we allow ourselves in public is to hold hands or hold tightly to handrails and each other in public transport so as not to fall. Also when meeting or parting we may hug and quickly kiss each other on the cheeks, and leave the rest for later, when there are no witnesses around.

Our personal communication differs very much from what we say in the presence of other people. We have our intimate names, which we joyfully call each other and respond to, but we never pronounce them in the presence of others.

There were cases when our friends accidentally heard how tenderly we call each other, and then they also tried calling us by these words. In their mouths such words sounded with sarcasm or even mockery, which taught us to keep such things under control.

We share much of what is accepted in our home with people who come to visit us or spend a long time in our company. And we don't know whether everything can be told and whether everything can be shared with everyone. But through trials, mistakes, mockery, or insults we begin to understand over time where we can let outsiders in, and which spheres of our country should be closed to them.

Everything that happens between the two of us, we leave between ourselves and God. Only the Lord is initiated into all our secrets, and He has direct access to all our relationships and decisions.

But with all our closedness we try to be very open and hospitable for receiving guests, for friendship, and for personal communication with dear friends. There are cases when in conversation with other people, in order to help them with something, we have to tell about what's happening in our family. But at the same time there's a request that the person not retell our secrets to other people. But this is rather an exception to the rules than the norm of our life.

We are accustomed to sorting out and discussing all our conflicts together, not initiating outsiders into them, but we are not opponents of help from other people when it's difficult for us ourselves to decide something correctly.

Our country has Christian roots, and we joyfully accept into our laws any amendments and innovations that will make our citizens more loving and happy.

Our family traditions are established with our mutual consent and then bring us much pleasure. For example, when we have nothing to talk about, I sit on the sofa, and my wife on the armrest, we tenderly embrace, and each of us silently thinks about our own things, not peeking into the other's thoughts. We can sit like this for a very long time without saying a word, but we don't teach others to do the same.

Our bedroom is closed to everyone forever. This is a special region where even the closest relatives cannot enter.

We understand that such festive days as the Sabbath are mandatory for our home, and we always rest together on this day. But we also have some family holidays that have no Biblical basis, however we still celebrate them with each other, and sometimes invite guests too. The Lord has given us freedom to establish in our country those holidays in which we can manifest the spirit of love and gratitude for the years lived, for the blessings received, for the wedding anniversary, for finishing some education, for the light poured out, and much else. We decide ourselves how and where to celebrate these events, what to eat, and whom to invite.

Sometimes people come to visit us without invitation, and we don't mind a visa-free regime, but this forces us to cancel all our plans and orient ourselves very quickly in the situation that has arisen. Despite this, we decided to rejoice in uninvited guests and receive them with hospitality, necessarily offering them food if they are hungry. We also decided not to violate our eating regime because of spontaneous events in our home, and often guests eat our food without us. But when we go to someone for a dinner invitation, then we make sure our stomachs are empty by this time.

When we come to our parents in their families, then we, although we are the dearest people to them, don't violate their traditions and laws, but simply love them.

Our family is our world, mine and my spouse's, and it will never become yours with your rules and principles. Although we don't mind learning something and bringing something new and useful into our relationships.

All our relatives and friends will never become citizens of our country, although they may have free access to many of its regions. We have the right from the Lord to build what suits both of us, and the Lord respects our laws and blesses us in them.

1. Please read Gen. 2:24; 2Cor. 6:14-15; Amos 3:3; Eccl. 4:9-11; 5:17-19; 9:9; Gal. 5:13-15; Eph. 5:8-11,22,25,23; Rom. 12:9-10; 1Cor. 7:33-34,39; Prov. 5:18-19; 19:14 in light of this lesson.

2. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

3. What did you understand from this topic?

4. Can married people organize their family at their discretion, or should they take into account traditions accepted in a given place?

5. Does Heaven reckon with our order in the home and our daily schedule?

6. Do you think husband and wife are masters in their family? Won't such a hierarchy be a challenge to all their friends?

7. Is it possible that if something brings happiness to other families and unites them, then in your family it's inappropriate or vice versa?

8. Will there be a difference between family happiness built on Biblical principles from that which is built on worldly traditions? If yes, then in what way, since both bring happiness?

9. Should my parents, relatives, or friends establish rules in my family if they have more experience in family life?

10. What to do if we start establishing our own rules in our family, and because of this our parents deprive us of material support?

11. Does freedom in the family mean freedom from others' opinions, rules, standards, and values?

12. Don't these lessons impose alien values on you that destroy your established family relationships and concepts about family?

13. What benefit will we derive if we have absolute freedom from others' opinions in our family, but don't know what to do with this?

14. Does freedom of choice of one's path to family happiness imply freedom to sin and live as everyone lives?

15. Can there be true family happiness where there is no God in the heart and in relationships?