Obedience in General

The character of each of us consists of many elements of harmonious combination of spiritual, mental and physical features, which when interacting with each other, falling under influence coming both from outside and from within, form in us a certain way of thinking and feeling, which subsequently affects our external behavior and forms our worldview. Our character consists of a large number of many separate links of one long chain, on which we are suspended over an abyss called "worldly temptations," and the top of this chain is attached to an invisible God's hand, which wants to carry us over this world along a path called "life" and bring us to the final destination called "Kingdom of Heaven." The strength of this chain is determined by its weakest link.

The task of all parents includes both the formation of their own characters for Eternal Life, and the formation of appropriate characters in their children, to teach them to distinguish good from evil and choose the good path. In this formation process, both parents and children participate, as well as Representatives of the spiritual world, whom we invite to help with our choices and prayers.

When speaking of the chain that God holds in His hand, carrying it over the temptations of the world, it should be taken into account that God's second hand is always under this chain, so that in case of a break in one of the links, no catastrophe of the whole life occurs, and while the torn link is being repaired, the soul can rest in the reliable hand of the loving Creator, although it has the freedom to jump into the raging world and perish there forever.

Raising obedient children requires from their parents similar obedience to higher Heavenly authority and voluntary submission of their will to Christ's will.

If a small child is inclined to disobedience in some cases, then their parents should not allow them to constantly commit the same wrong actions, since frequent repetition of something forms a habit that subsequently becomes part of character. Violation is determined by rules of behavior that father or mother establishes and voices. And if they see that the child unconsciously does something wrong, but does not yet understand this, and parents do not know how to forbid this, then it is best to occupy the little person with work in which they will be interested to be obedient, and they will willingly engage in useful things and receive praise and approval from parents as a reward. Good deeds also become a habit, and their encouragement produces happiness hormones in the child's body, filling their life with meaning.

When a child has already learned to speak and can analyze their actions, then it is necessary to talk with them in your native language, which is customary to speak in your house, to explain to them the beauty of obedience and lead them to the point where they themselves give negative assessment to wrong actions. Stories about obedient and disobedient boys and girls are very pleasing to children, and they gladly condemn all disobedience and pass fair sentences on violators of behavioral rules.

When a child can distinguish good from evil themselves, then in this sphere it is easy for parents to achieve obedience through the example of the child's assessment of various actions from children's stories.

Young children are characterized by obedience, since parents are the only instructors and indisputable authority for them. And they obey by default, because that is what their dad and mom want. But the older children become, the more they need explanation of why sin is evil, and what consequences disobedience brings both to parents' will and to God's will. And when the opportunity arises, children themselves must reap the fruits of their wrong choice and bear the consequences of violating rules and laws.

Even with the most correct upbringing, situations always arise when a child stumbles or does something wrong. This can happen under the influence of peers or from a desire to try something forbidden. One should not leave all noticed violations without attention, but wisdom is needed to correct mistakes and offer a better alternative.

It is good from early childhood to accustom a child to tell everything bad and good that happens to them, without punishing them for honesty. Children trust their parents and are not afraid of them when they listen to their confessions and stories with interest. When a child understands that they will not be reproached or punished for their honesty, and subsequently parents will not harm them, then they will develop the habit of sharing everything and will be open to hearing the opinion of father or mother. And the older the child, the more terrible things they will tell you. But make it your rule to never reproach or scold a child for honesty and sincerity. One or two wrong steps on your part or reproach for wrong behavior that they do not hide from you can close their heart, and they will be partially truthful, or may forever withdraw into themselves and tell you nothing.

Such practice of parental self-control should develop much earlier, before the child is born, when mother and father learn to be truthful with each other and not "nag" each other for honesty and sincerity. If they do not have this between themselves, then such spirit will manifest itself in relationships with children, and it will be easier for the child to go the path of least resistance and not tell about their experiences in order to avoid condemnation or punishment.

And if mother discovered dishonesty or some secret sin of her charges, then she needs to have special wisdom to explain a different approach to life and make the child understand how one can fight sin and overcome it. One should not scold the child in this case.

Screaming, reproaches, indignation, anger, threats of violence are like sudden devastating hail that beats down tender greenery and kills young plants at the root. After such spontaneous manifestations of your indignation, you can long regret your reaction, but little can be corrected in reviving trampled tender feelings. Although children can provoke parents' indignation and righteous anger, here it is necessary to show self-control, which should also be taught to the child.

Obedience is the foundation for further building and formation of a person's personality, but this is not the only task that parents should solve in their relationships with children.

If a child shows disobedience due to forgetfulness or misunderstanding of why this needs to be done, then one should not focus attention and defend one's authority. You are respected as a parent, but must also understand the fairness of your requirements. For example, children are inclined to eat with unwashed hands. And they do not always understand why they need to wash their hands before eating when they are not dirty. And sometimes they simply forget this because they consider it something secondary. Here one needs to have a tactful approach to instill this skill in the child and not punish them for forgetfulness. After all, we ourselves, being adults, violate this rule. And Jesus Himself taught that it is not a sin to eat with unwashed hands. Matt. 15:20.

1. Please read Prov. 22:6; Col. 3:20; Rom. 6:16; Isa. 29:23-24; 46:3-4; Deut. 6:4-9; 1 Sam. 15:22-23; 2 Cor. 10:4-6; Prov. 8:32-36; Matt. 15:1-2,19-20 in light of this chapter.

2. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

3. What did you understand from this chapter?

4. Why will habits instilled in a child from childhood be preserved by them until old age?

5. What qualities of soul should parents possess to raise worthy children?

6. What to do if a child does not understand what you want from them, and unconsciously violates your instructions?

7. Is it worth understanding whether you are dealing with a healthy child or one who has impairments in perceiving your words?

8. Does the Lord understand how damaged the mind of those who come to Him is? Does He raise everyone the same way?

9. What skills and character traits are fundamental in forming Christian character in children?

10. What to do if children squeeze all strength out of me, and there is not enough patience to cope with them?

11. What other rules, besides washing hands, can children violate unconsciously?

12. Why should obedience come from the child's heart and become their good habit?

13. Do parents need wisdom from above to raise an obedient child?

14. Where to get wisdom in raising children after asking God for it?