Wisdom in Punishment

There is a saying: "They don't beat you for stealing, but for getting caught." Children who have reached conscious age need to be explained that you require obedience from them not only because you want it that way, but also because God requires this. After all, God Himself punishes the guilty for their crimes, depriving them of His protection or pouring out His judgments on them. The Bible describes enough examples of God's justice and instructions for righteous living.

Children like when they are loved, and they willingly reach toward the Source of love. By explaining to them that God is love, and showing them this love in their life, parents open children's hearts to accepting Divine goodness, which keeps children from evil deeds and leads them to repentance.

If a child, for example, is forbidden to snack between meals, and they are punished for violating this rule, then they may try to perform this action in the absence of parents, saying nothing to them. There is a fact of violating home rules, but there is no punishment for this action, and the young person learns caution, beginning to apply this rule in other spheres of their life as well. Sooner or later the Lord will reveal this violation to their parents, but simply getting away with punishment is not solving the problem. The root of evil lies much deeper.

But when a little person is instructed in spiritual truths and it is conveyed to their consciousness that besides parents there is also an All-seeing God, then they look at their actions completely differently and already defeat temptation to evil within themselves.

The Lord cooperates with wise parents and participates in raising their children. The same power of the Holy Spirit that changes the heart of an adult sinner is capable of writing God's rules in a young heart as well, and these instructions will then guide consciousness throughout life and help the child avoid mistakes and abstain from sin.

Communication with children on the topic of order in the house and in the heart is very important. Children don't need to be proven that God exists. They need to be told this and each time new revelations about Him should be added, reinforcing them with biblical verses. Children are very receptive to any stories, and God strengthens their faith with His Spirit, His revelations and answers to their prayers.

It's important to convey to the child's consciousness the story about the sons of high priest Eli from 1 Sam. 2-4, about what the absence of punishment leads to and the fruit of disobedience, and what heavy consequences arise for everyone in this case. Although the child may be indignant for some time, understanding the power of good that parents put into punishment will help reconsider their behavior.

Trusting relationships between children and parents help parents know everything about their children, and help children tell about everything they do and what happens to them. If children are taught that they won't be scolded and punished for honesty and sincerity, then they will willingly tell about everything they experienced throughout the day, what they did and what new things they learned. Here parents' wisdom is needed not to bring down the "punishing sword" on the head of a sincere little person who with simplicity of heart tells how they decided to wash a dirty cat in the washing machine. No matter how hard it may be for you to listen to such truth, one shouldn't get angry and punish for such revelations, but explanatory conversation must definitely be present in such talk.

If a child's behavior brought material damage or deprived you of something dear, and they sincerely share this with you, then with your regret or grief you can show them that they brought you pain. However, one needs to be very wise not to close the child's heart with your "just" reaction demanding immediate retribution. One thoughtless impulse is enough to teach a child to consider consequences of their honesty and sincerity and forever close their heart to such conversations.

Parents have enough discernment to understand when something is wrong in their child's life. A mother can very quickly identify any violation, so the child doesn't even try to carefully hide something, because they're used to the fact that mom knows everything.

But what to do if a child sincerely tells about rule violations? After all, it's necessary to somehow react to such actions? Conversation in a spirit of love will help find the right solution, and the mother will be able to lead the child to choosing punishment for themselves that won't spoil their life, but will serve as a lesson and help realize that it's more interesting to live in obedience.

If your relationships with children are already destroyed, and they don't trust you or fear your reaction, then this can be corrected by your sincere admission of your inadequacy and promise to improve. Children want to be friends with their parents and are ready to forgive them at any age, but are parents ready for such a step?

Nothing so firmly establishes children in truth as Holy Scripture and examples from the lives of many biblical heroes. God watches over His Word, and when it is placed in a child's heart, it's easy for Him to remind of these truths at the right time and help make the right choice.

Raising children is instruction and upbringing of their parents. Daily cares, endless plans, vanity of earthly life—all this distracts consciousness from the most important people who spin underfoot and sometimes very much interfere with living. But without them your life will no longer bring you joy. Loss of a child for any reason is the greatest tragedy of life for their parents and relatives. And when this person is not nearby, then you so want to do much for them. So do this now, while they are here. While they are small, they can be taught much.

There is no greater and more important profession in the entire Universe than a specialist in character formation in one's child. Any good seed placed in a young heart will bring good fruit throughout life.

In any punishment it's necessary to show your love and concern about the fact that your son or daughter are losing purity. It's important to make it clear that this must definitely be corrected. It's good when there's opportunity to pray together with the violator of order about God's forgiveness for the committed action, and after this carry out punishment, lovingly explaining that this is pleasing to God, and there's no other way.

When a child rebels or is in irritation, then they're unlikely to hear your instructions; rather, they will refuse to perceive you. Postpone conversations to calmer time, but don't respond to their rebellion in the same spirit. Love knows how to find needed words and calm raging emotions.

Parents' self-control helps children see themselves from another side and reconsider their behavior.

But leaving obvious violation without attention and punishment is also impossible. This will bring confusion into the child's understanding, and they will begin to consider that they're punished not from principle, but according to mood, and such opinion will sow unkind seeds in them that will definitely sprout.

By the tone of parents' voice and their behavior when determining punishment, children very well hear and see love or its absence. Words of love that don't contradict biblical principles convince children that their punishment is just and serves them for good, and they humbly accept this.

1. Please read Rom. 2:3-4; Gal. 5:22-23; Heb. 12:6-13; Isa. 53:5; Prov. 22:6; 23:13; Eph. 4:28-32; 5:1; 6:1-4; Matt. 7:12; James 1:4-7; Job 10:14 in light of this chapter.

2. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

3. What did you understand from this chapter?

4. How is wisdom manifested in punishing children?

5. Do children understand the spirit of punishment coming from their parents?

6. How does God give wisdom in raising children when asked for this?

7. How can Biblical truths influence a child's mind?

8. Why is it so important to base a child's obedience not only on parents' commands, but also on God's Word?

9. Do you think the Lord exerts His influence on children of those parents who walk in truth and desire the same for their children?

10. Is it important to teach children fear of God and obedience to God's law?

11. Why did Jesus teach that we should not hinder children from coming to Him? Matt. 19:14.

12. Do you think if children are constantly taught obedience with wisdom, will they learn something?

13. Are there instructions in the Bible about how to properly raise children?

14. Should everything work out for parents the first time? Should one give up if obedience lessons are learned slowly?