Training Patience

Patience is a child's ability to wait for what is promised or due without crying, irritation, aggression or anxiety. This is the ability to control one's feelings and emotions, being distracted by other things and tasks when there is no immediate answer. This is the ability to endure pain or humiliation without unnecessary noise and indignation. Patience is one of the important qualities of Christian character that parents need to develop and root in their children.

Our entire life consists of constant waiting for someone or something, and our children experience the same. They will definitely encounter the necessity to wait for something or endure something in their life.

Training patience begins long before the child's birth. Father and mother should themselves possess this quality of soul and not hurry each other unnecessarily, showing understanding and condescension to one another. When adults are taught patient attitude, then it's quite easy for them to instill similar spirit in their offspring as well.

Like development of other positive character traits, training patience requires special parental wisdom, persistence and long-suffering. The fruit of this labor won't be visible immediately. And any fruit requires much time before it ripens and becomes suitable for consumption.

A child is not born with understanding of our society's laws, and they are inclined to remind the surrounding world of their rights through crying, demanding due nutrition or dry clothes. And the very first lessons of patience they take from the calmness and tenderness of their mother, who with gentle voice explains to them that everything is good, she is nearby, and they will receive what's expected. But one should also know that children's sense of time differs from adult understanding, and what for parents is not long, for a little person may seem like eternity.

If a child knows their feeding hours, then an impulse for mandatory food intake triggers in their mind, and mother shouldn't delay this event, but also shouldn't instantly fulfill all whims of the young creature. Through calm speech of their parents, an infant receives information that everything is good and learns to wait for what they will definitely receive. With the baby's growth, the interval between meals and sleep time also grows.

Training patience implies instilling in children voluntary waiting in joyful spirit. One way or another, they will have to learn to wait for something and endure something, but with what mood they will do this depends on how parents teach them this.

Love in parents' relationships, tenderness in conversation with each other, their courtesy and respect are understandable even to tiny children, and this spirit spreads to small family members as well, letting them understand that they are safe and that they too are loved and valued.

A baby's daily routine doesn't differ in great variety of events, and therefore infants quickly get used to what happens to them in life and learn to wait for their turn or that time when they will be attended to and given proper attention and care.

A child feels mother's mood and very quickly absorbs lessons of praise and approval for shown patience, as well as her displeasure and irritation for wrong behavior, so the baby involuntarily adapts to maternal mood.

Children don't orient themselves in time, but living in their father's house, they learn that not everything is achieved immediately and in any matter, that events are a process that cannot be accelerated and can be slowed down under certain circumstances. It's important to concentrate children's attention not on achieving the final goal or result, but on the process itself.

For example, seed growth very clearly shows all stages of development from the moment of planting it in the ground to bringing fruit. Observing this event, the child learns that there are things that must naturally develop, and no haste or intolerance will accelerate the process of growth and fruit bearing.

Similar examples can be demonstrated in food preparation, in building something, in drawing and in many games.

Examples from animal life, from any creativity and stories about how big things and achievements come from small deeds for a long time teach children that every matter has its process and its time.

It's good to invent such activities where children will see on personal example the prolonged process of their creativity and understand how much patience needs to be invested in any matter before result is achieved.

When a child grasps the meaning of gradual transition from one stage of creative process to another through personal experience, then the law "first the blade, then the head, after that the full grain in the head" is imprinted in their consciousness. Mark 4:28.

The Bible contains many examples of patience manifestation and instructions about how this patience develops and how important this trait of true Christian character is, which God wants to see in every person, and also in children.

During illness or receiving injuries, children encounter internal sufferings that often have prolonged character and don't pass by their desire. In such moments, kind words and parental care teach children to steadfastly endure inevitable trials that don't disappear by themselves, but are substantially eased by parental tenderness and attention. Words of comfort and calls to patience teach hope that soon everything will pass and healing will come, which children willingly believe and at the slightest improvement of their condition immediately transition to active phase of their pastime.

When a child's mind awakens and transitions to active phase of communication with other people, they begin to analyze what's happening, and children need to be given instructions about the importance of patience formation, explaining that calmness and joyful waiting are desired behavior that adorns any person.

Parents themselves are direct confirmation of all their instructions. It's not difficult for them to instill in children qualities that they themselves manifest in life and teach children what they know how to do and control.

If dad, while waiting for the family to go for a walk, quietly grumbles and shows displeasure due to delay of someone from household members, then what does he teach his children? That impatience should be demonstrated in such a way. Children involuntarily copy their parents' behavior and are established in what they see at home.

Father's polite attitude toward mother and wife's respect for husband is transmitted to their offspring as well. It won't be difficult for children to manifest similar spirit because they have a clear example in their parents' life. Negative example also has its influence and also teaches children something.

Teaching patience is quite a long process that forms appropriate habits in growing person's life not in one day. There will be mistakes in upbringing, there will be breakdowns, negative influence will be exerted from outside, but if the course is chosen correctly, then the final goal will definitely be achieved.

The Lord works together with God-fearing parents, teaches patience and writes in children's minds those lessons that will keep the person from many evils throughout all subsequent life.

1. Please read Luke 8:15; 21:19; James 1:2-4; 2 Pet. 1:3-8; Rev. 14:12; Eph. 4:2-3; Rom. 5:3-5; 8:25; Gal. 5:22-23 in light of this chapter.

2. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

3. What did you understand from this chapter?

4. What is patience?

5. What types of patience do you know?

6. Why is it necessary to develop patience in children?

7. Should one have patience oneself before teaching someone else this?

8. Is there anything in common between the patience spoken of in the Bible and what a child should have?

9. How to determine a child's level of patience?

10. What methods for developing patience do you know?

11. What games can teach a child patience?

12. Why should patience be joyful and voluntary?

13. What to do if my child is irritable and impatient?

14. What to do if your patience has run out and you're afraid and can't vouch for yourself?