Training Long-suffering

When patience ends, then long-suffering comes into force.

Long-suffering is the fruit of the Holy Spirit and one of the important character qualities of a person who is called to holy life already on this earth. Interesting events and trials await us, and our human potential won't be enough to endure what we will encounter in the near future.

Training long-suffering in children, I, first of all, give myself to God for upbringing so that He gives me His grace and teaches me to endure everything.

Family education is also a battlefield where I constantly encounter the wild and strong will of a child, and my task is not to break this will, but to direct it in the right direction and instill useful skills in it. I am not an enemy to my child, but a mentor who has authority from God in forming Christian character in a wild little person.

Children are not born with understanding of virtue, but they are open for learning and establishing in the heart those skills that will be placed in their mind.

The first child in a family is the most important person who will have the greatest influence on all subsequent children. And skills of patience and other virtues instilled in them from childhood will spread to all their younger brothers and sisters.

Training patience is the most long-term project of constant learning that has success not so much from brief instructions as from the general direction of father and mother's life.

Children very often are initiators and provocateurs of bad behavior that can drive anyone out of themselves. And it's very important in these minutes not to break the child's spirit, but showing calmness, take wise measures to exit the situation with minimal trauma to the child's soul.

For example, when a baby spits porridge in your face and then deliberately overturns a plate with this same porridge on you, then you need strength from above to very quickly understand what happened, and that clothes and face can be washed, and the little rebel needs to be told that acting this way is indecent, and any society doesn't accept such behavior. Calm reaction of father or mother has greater influence in such cases than spanking and screaming.

Many activities of useful work and developing games help the child absorb lessons of patience, where they experience long-term process of advancement toward goal or victory. And wise parental instructions, words of praise, encouragement and approval help young mind absorb lessons of patience and effort and later choose precisely this path.

There are many games in which there are winners and losers. My wife and I tried to find games for children that don't develop spirit of competition and joy that you're first and better than others, but those in which each participant received pleasure from the game process itself, and victory was common.

If it was a football game, then all participants congratulated winners, and winners put losers on their backs and made a victory lap with them. And it was interesting to observe what joy the losers experienced, sitting astride the winners.

Planting and caring for flowers and plants teaches children how much time and care each sprout needs before it reaches beauty or gives abundant fruit. And timely comments and parental instructions teach children patience in waiting for what will overtake them in the future.

Children believe adults, and their faith is rewarded by receiving long-awaited promised result or gift.

Patience is not only correct and calm reaction, but also polite waiting for one's turn. Politeness is manifested in courteous words of respect, apology and gratitude, in sincere joy of life and in honoring others above oneself. It's important to explain to children what reaction politeness evokes in other people, and what attitude is formed in cultural communication with others during waiting.

Children's logic and spontaneity always evokes tenderness and interest in adults, so one shouldn't forbid the child to share their conclusions with older people.

During nature walks or when doing homework, one can slow down the pace and teach the child to get pleasure and enjoyment from the process of these activities.

It's important to teach the child to voice their emotions and experiences. Then they can better understand what's happening to them, how to identify negativity and how to resist evil. And it will be easier for parents to understand the child's state.

Sports activities also form certain skills in patience, where children see first with eyes of faith, then with their own eyes certain result of their persistent training.

Voicing expectation helps the young person patiently wait for that hour when they will receive desired, and this makes them capable of dealing with impulses of impatience to quickly get what they want.

It's important to explain the difference between "want" and "need." The child needs to distinguish their desires from natural needs and learn to behave correctly in one case or another.

Practice of "silence lessons" or playing silence teaches children to concentrate on silence and find quiet activities for themselves, showing patience toward noisy games.

Any waiting is tiresome for children, but it can be made into a game and switch the child's mind to what they see around, teaching that in waiting much free time appears that can be used meaningfully.

Reading useful books accustoms the mind to patient analysis of what's read, and practical activities reinforce theory in practice.

Modern gadgets and computer games destroy many spiritual values and very quickly deliver pleasure to the brain, bypassing thought processes. Essentially, they form the opposite of tolerance and cripple children's consciousness, training consumer skills in them. Parents need to keep young minds away from such temptations and give children what is useful for body and soul.

Joint reading and studying the Bible with children is the most powerful and natural source of patience formation, not only for children but also for parents. God's Word contains many useful examples, instructions and lessons of tolerance. These words, entering the mind, are fixed in it by the power of the Holy Spirit and later, at the right time, remind of God's principles, helping in making wise decisions. Behind these truths stands God's power and wisdom, which form the righteous person's way of thinking.

And the very time spent reading spiritual things is a stop from worldly vanity for knowing eternal truths. Sometimes one has to force oneself to postpone all other matters and plans and patiently explain to young mind what one wouldn't mind learning to understand oneself.

From reading God's Word comes faith that patiently awaits the promised and rewards the soul with achieving the expected.

Many of God's promises are fulfilled in long-term perspective, and children need to be taught this. Then they will be able to patiently await the promised and believe that God will definitely do what He promised. And in this waiting, parents need to demonstrate reliability in their own promises with their personal example, rewarding their children's patient waiting with this.

1. Please read Prov. 16:32; 1 Cor. 13:4-8; Gal. 5:22-23; Eph. 4:2-3; 1 Thess. 5:14; Heb. 6:11-15; 2 Tim. 4:2; Ex. 34:6-7; Ps. 86:15; James 5:7-8 in light of this chapter.

2. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

3. What did you understand from this chapter?

4. What is long-suffering?

5. How quickly do your children grow? Should their development be hurried?

6. What examples of biblical long-suffering do you know that can be given as examples to children?

7. Why is it so important to base all instructions on biblical principles?

8. Will God help parents form long-suffering in their children if they ask Him for this?

9. Why aren't children born with spiritual knowledge and principles, but need to be taught this?

10. Do you think patient children will be happier than those who have no patience?

11. How to learn patience oneself if there's very little of it?

12. How to determine that God is long-suffering? And how to apply this character quality to oneself?

13. Why is it better to train long-suffering in children through biblical examples than with simple words?

14. What other soul skills need to be instilled in children?