Trusting Relationships

In the Bible there is one golden rule that Jesus gave to humanity in His Sermon on the Mount. We read in Matt. 7:12: "Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets."

All healthy and sane parents are inclined to love their children and care for them from the very first days of their life. And such relationships between children and parents are considered norm of life in any society. Influence of loving father and mother won't be replaced by anyone, and it's incomparable to any other influence under which children may fall if parents are alive and in the family.

Parents by their status and influence for the child are God's representatives. And the child is son or daughter to them. And this connection is so close that if it's preserved and developed in correct relationships of love and friendship, then it will never break and even after death of father or mother will exert its influence and constantly remind of the good and beautiful that was in these relationships.

But parents can give true example of trusting relationships only if they themselves have such relationships with their Heavenly Father. Although they may not always understand how trusting these relationships should be with the One they don't see, their child who appeared in the world becomes their teacher in this matter and clearly shows by example of young creature what love God the Father has for us, what grace Lord Jesus shows to us and what fellowship we can have with Holy Spirit and in Holy Spirit.

Trusting relationships without faith in God can be just as strong as between members in believing families, but such secular connections have no solid foundation and true understanding of final goal that must definitely be achieved. Eternity is worth getting into and sacrificing everything, becoming worthy citizen of Heavenly Kingdom.

Trusting relationships are what children and parents feel comfortable, safe and open in, not afraid to share their thoughts and feelings, while respecting another person's right to such attitude.

Love and thirst for trust is placed in every person, but it's expressed more openly and accessibly in children's nature. Father and mother enter their child's heart and remain there as long as they desire this, doing everything possible on their part to establish themselves in this mutual trust and preserve it in all trials.

We are surrounded by godless world. Enemy of soul constantly seeks whom to devour, and our carnal nature will always rush to insert wedge between us and our children, conduct separation and create abyss in relationships. But parents are builders and keepers of trust, and they are given authority from above for building such relationships.

Care for child's welfare, for their comfort, for their nutrition and physical needs is good in itself, but it shouldn't exclude spiritual needs of person. Child is not only physical being, but also emotional and spiritual God's creation. Natural need is placed in them for everything concerning mental, spiritual and physical development and upbringing. Unconditional parental love is perceived by children's mind as natural living environment in which all beautiful qualities of child's soul will harmoniously grow and develop.

First knowledge of good and love young creature receives in their family from their parents. Father and mother's love opens to children's mind path to trusting relationships that continue to be built and strengthened throughout subsequent life.

Parents go through various trials of their relationships in which, to become closer to children, they need to make efforts and deny themselves much for the sake of those who were given to them by God. But it's worth it, and reward for faithful parents will be very great already in their lifetime, and then throughout all Eternity.

Having father and mother as friend, child will naturally come to them with any questions, joys and discoveries. Parents will always be first people with whom they will share their experiences and worries, expecting support and comfort from them. Although age makes child more independent and autonomous, trusting relationships with their close ones are always that solid foundation on which they can build all their subsequent life, understanding that in this foundation Lord Jesus Himself is present, who also wants to have trusting relationships with His friends, and no less than earthly father and mother.

"Look, dad!!! Look, mom!!!"—these exclamations of trust will sound constantly and attentive gaze of parents will always be expected. You will have to hear thousands of "whys" and give thousands of "becauses" to them, so that next thousands of "what for" are directed precisely to you. Who, if not God-fearing parents, can give most correct answer to all children's questions and direct children's attention and energy in right direction? Sometimes many children's questions or statements may be inappropriate or silly, distract parents from important matters and disconcert adult consciousness, but one should set heart to always give wise answers, and if this is impossible to do right now, then promise to talk about this later and then keep one's promise and listen to young creature, satisfying their natural curiosity and thirst for knowledge. It's precisely in these trifles that trust is formed, and in them it can also be destroyed. When all children's joys and expectations meet parental attention and understanding in spirit of love, then father and mother will always be in first place. Their child will share with them everything they experience.

It's also important for parents to see in their child not spine-chewer, not juice-squeezer and breaker of everything in the world, but creative personality who not so quickly, but still will be taught careful attitude to things and gentle communication with parents. Not every dirt on clothes is worth noticing in opposition to joyful spirit of pioneer who hurries to tell you what pleasure jumping in puddles and crawling on ground gives them.

If you see that your behavior plunges your child into despondency, then it's worth understanding what I'm doing wrong and what needs to be reconsidered in my life so that my pupils are happy in my presence.

Mutual agreement and trust between parents and children is the greatest treasure that needs to be carefully collected bit by bit and cherished like apple of eye. No most important matter can be more significant if it destroys these relationships. No effort will seem too great if trust and mutual sympathy will be formed thanks to it.

Participation in children's games and entertainment, answers to questions, joint walks and events, help in affairs and lessons, teaching new sciences and much more—all this contributes to preservation of mutual trust and carries great prospects for future.

1. Please read John 16:27; Rom. 12:9-10; Col. 3:20-21; 1 Cor. 8:2-3; Prov. 3:11-12; 4:1-9; 12:1; 27:9; 1 Pet. 1:22; 1 John 3:18; 4:7 in light of this chapter.

2. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

3. What did you understand from this chapter?

4. What are trusting relationships?

5. Why is it so important to have mutual trust with your children?

6. What benefit do trusting relationships with children bring?

7. How can one win child's trust and preserve it over many years?

8. What to do if trusting relationships with child are destroyed and you so want to restore them?

9. Is there anything in common between trust in God and trust in parents?

10. Can one be oneself with those toward whom there is no trust?

11. How can trusting relationships be destroyed?

12. Should love be present in trust?

13. How far can you let in those with whom you have trusting relationships?

14. Does the Lord trust you?