Teaching Temperance

But the fruit of the Holy Spirit is temperance. (Gal.5:22-23). Teaching temperance is just as important an aspect of children's family education as the development and cultivation of all other qualities of the soul. Parents cannot ignore it and exclude it from the general process, but they need to form this character trait somewhere through their personal example, somewhere through instruction, somewhere through limitation and persuasion, being guided not by the problems of one day, but foreseeing far-reaching consequences.

It's very important that in this education there exists a fundamental balance that would extend to all spheres of children's life activities and teach them reasonable temperance in everything.

Children are very observant and it's characteristic for them to imitate their parents and repeat in their lives what adults do, how they limit themselves in something, how they react to irritants, how their words and actions correspond to one another.

Parents also need to understand that strict prohibitions, though sometimes very necessary, do not form principles in character and are not capable of developing good qualities of the soul in the child. While he is small and is under the power of parents, he simply has nowhere to go and has to obey parents, but when he begins to choose and decide for himself how to live, it will be a surprise for many how quickly all prohibitions are violated and how fearlessly their son does what he was never allowed to do. In any prohibition there should be present logic, explanation and common sense, not the statement: "I told you so!"

The influence of society or peers has special power, which not everyone can resist. And if you consider that the enemy of the soul constantly seeks a loophole to free will, then you understand how zealously one should fight for the upbringing of one's children and prepare them for independent life.

When I silently abstain from something in the presence of children, it's possible that they will somehow guess about my soul's feat and something will be deposited in their heads, but it's possible that they will miss this event, as they will be occupied with their own problems. But when I voice my behavior, give explanation to what happened, ask their opinions and assessments, then children willingly become involved in the process of my temperance and very attentively observe how I succeed at it.

Seeing how their papa refuses himself the purchase of some things and hearing his logical explanation, children learn continuity in similar situations. When I put a certain portion of food on my plate at an abundant table and to all suggestions of seconds answer that my stomach is not rubber, and I don't want to be like a soap bubble, then such a cheerful answer is quickly remembered by the child's mind and it won't be difficult for them to recall this case precisely when a similar test comes into their life.

I can also give scientific explanations to what happens in a person's organism when much different food gets into it and how it then burdens the digestive organs, and how vital forces are exhausted. Such interpretation has logical explanation in itself and children quickly accept such opinion for themselves and think about what happens in their organism when they don't limit their desires at a tasty table.

There is also in many limitations a spiritual prohibition described in the Bible and given through recommendations of the Spirit of Prophecy. If God prohibited doing or taking something as food, then it's necessary to convey this prohibition to the child's consciousness and make clear not only the logic of this limitation, but also that the Lord commands this and tests us with it.

It's good for children to know how temperance is rewarded in the future and how it influences the happy state of the soul in the present. It's not difficult for them to trace cause-and-effect relationships and draw independent conclusions about the benefit of temperance and about the destructive consequences of intemperance.

Examples of intemperance of Adam and Eve, David and Bathsheba, the disciple Judas and other biblical heroes clearly show what negative consequences arise in the lives of those who don't know how to control their desires.

Remembering stories from the life of Joseph in Egypt, Daniel and his companions in Babylon, Jesus' victory in the wilderness, one can show children what heights temperate people reach.

Lessons of temperance, as a rule, parents begin to teach children from early age, teaching them that there are things that cannot be touched and territory where one cannot go. For example, if a child wishes to study in detail the contents of an electrical outlet and understand what else besides fingers can be stuck there, then the constant and strict prohibition of parents teaches him that this is a forbidden activity and it's better not to engage in this. The same can be said about a hot stove. It's difficult for a baby to understand parental prohibitions, but he doesn't yet have enough strength to resist. But when he is convinced by his own experience that a hot stove for children's hands is not very fun entertainment, and hot water in the tap brings pain, then these lessons are remembered by him for a long time.

Teaching temperance has much in common with teaching patience, meekness, diligence, trust and obedience. Many lessons of temperance extend to other spheres of the child's worldview. Though these lessons should cover all spheres of life, special attention should be paid to temperance in nutrition.

Children, like adults, eat food many times a day and they need to know the measure of their portion and be grateful for what they have and receive. Children need to be instructed about the harm of snacking and not give in to their desires and requests to give them something tasty. But if they were promised something special, but at the proper time, then this must be fulfilled to reward their expectations.

Explanatory conversations about beneficial and healthy food, about the harm of overeating, about the benefit of fresh vegetables and fruits, are best conducted not during the general meal, but before it. For example, when mama prepares salad and uses special vegetables for this, then one can tell children about how many minerals and vitamins are contained in fresh greens and what benefit it brings to the organism. When a person understands the benefit of what is offered to him, then his faith in this makes the beneficial dish very effective medicine against many diseases and psychosomatics plays an important role in this. And then, similar knowledge about the benefit of this or that food contributes to correct choice and limitation in what's harmful.

There are games that form patience and temperance, where one needs to wait one's turn, where one needs to postpone reward, where self-control is important, where desires are controlled and where self-discipline is formed.

In any case, it's important for parents to achieve that temperance be imprinted in the heart not as prohibition, but as conscious conviction that what's harmful is harmful, and what's good should have reasonable measure.

That satiation doesn't bring with itself joy of life and not everything that the world offers is beneficial for soul and body.

It's also worth remembering that the Holy Spirit works together with us, Who knows how to establish the child in truth and when to remind him of what he heard from his instructors.

1. Please read Gen.2:16-17; 3:6-8; 39:7-9; Dan.1:12-16; Matt.4:1-11; 2Pet.1:5-6; Prov.3:1-2; 10:19; 16:32; 23:20-21; 31:4-5; Eccl.10:16-17 in light of this chapter.

2. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

3. What did you understand from this chapter?

4. Why is it necessary to cultivate temperance in children?

5. Why is temperance a fruit of the Holy Spirit?

6. Why don't strict prohibitions always help cultivate temperance in a child?

7. How does the personal example of parents influence the cultivation of temperance in children?

8. Why is it important to give children logical and scientific explanations of the harm of intemperance?

9. Why is it important to prepare children for independent life in matters of temperance?

10. How did Jesus Christ overcome temptation in the wilderness and show an example of temperance?

11. Why is it important to teach children to limit themselves in food?

12. What games can help a child learn self-control and temperance?

13. How does the Holy Spirit help a child establish himself in temperance?

14. Why is it important for parents to cultivate temperance not only in actions, but also in children's thoughts?