Other Temperance Lessons

Cultivating temperance is painstaking work of parents over many years. And even when children leave their father's house, the prayers of father and mother for them continue to have special influence and prompt heavenly forces to accomplish the work of salvation of their children.

Different children have different temperaments and react differently to all kinds of instructions. But while they are small, they learn everything that parents invest in them. The personal example of father and mother reinforces all kinds of instructions in children's hearts, and praise, approval and adequate assessment of observant parents establish young students in right things.

If a child has shown intemperance in something and behaved contrary to expectations and instructions of parents, then wise father and mother will help him correct this mistake and try to explain how and what needs to be done to worthily endure the next test.

When parents pray that the Lord would reveal to them the sins and vices of their children, they receive special intuition and can feel what is happening in the lives of their household members contrary to God's will.

Girls should be instructed in modesty of behavior and decency in clothing, especially when there are boys nearby. Even very small children quickly understand that intimate body parts covered by clothing cannot be shown to anyone, especially to representatives of the opposite sex. And this rule should become fundamental, and if someone asks them to show something, it's necessary to give a firm refusal and then inform their parents.

Older children, as a rule, willingly participate in caring for their younger siblings and, during changing clothes, see everything the infant possesses. Here father and mother need to show special wisdom to explain to the older child how girls differ from boys and what clothing is needed so that it protects the body from foreign eyes.

Babies, as a rule, are not shy of each other and don't pay attention to how decent their clothing or its absence is. But parents should instill these rules in them through frequent instructions and personal example.

Temperance in words, like in food, relates to the most responsible skill that is formed not in one day. When father and mother have pure lips and pure hearts, they naturally pass this property of soul to their children. The child quickly remembers everything he hears at home, on the street, in the company of other children and he tries to apply all these expressions and words in his life. His consciousness seeks logical connections between conversation and feelings, between words and meaning. When parents hear rude or foul expressions not accepted in their home, they should immediately react to this and give explanation that such speech is not acceptable in their family. When the young mind imprints the opinion about what is good in words and what is bad, it will be characteristic for him to choose the better.

Also important are temperance lessons in expressing negative feelings and thoughts. It's not difficult to trace the source of their appearance and through biblical instructions, instill in children how one can and should, with God's help, overcome any sin at its earliest stage.

It is written that "each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire; then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death." (James 1:14-15). And that "we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body." (James 3:2).

And also that "I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." (Matt 12:36-37).

Games with elements of temperance work very effectively. One can create a situation in which anger or indignation would be natural, but before this comes out, children should be given the opportunity to analyze their reaction and let them suggest two or more responses: sharp, natural and meek, and then, with your help, choose the better.

It's also worth inventing a game or situation where, before expressing something negative or giving a bold answer, one needs to make a delay in expressing one's feelings or not voice them at all.

In games children feel free and willingly play different roles, but their minds quickly absorb the correct position and, with frequent playing out of familiar scenarios, quickly remember the covered material and make it their habit.

Daily schedule, alternating by time study, games and entertainment, getting up and going to bed, and strict adherence to this order, teaches the child temperance in excessive activity in this or that sphere of his activities and accustoms the young student to discipline.

Also important are temperance lessons in getting something immediately, here and now. One can establish terms or conditions for getting something. One can arrange games in which children learn to wait their turn. One can test their patience through promising to receive something greater, but later, than something small, but now. It's important that children themselves make the decision to choose the better and games should be organized precisely so that what will teach them temperance is chosen.

The ability to say "no" to what is really dangerous or destructive can also be instilled in games and quizzes. Good support in this type can be other children who are taught to refuse what's bad and with their influence can teach younger siblings too.

Temperance from unnecessary purchases and spending money on pleasures will teach the child to collect large sums and acquire needed things. But at the same time one should give lessons of generosity too, so that your children learn to give and give everything at once, if there is urgent need.

Having a family budget, it's necessary to show and explain to children what is important and urgent, where one can save, and where it's better to keep money to oneself. Trips to toy stores open doors to unnecessary temptations, but if this cannot be avoided, then one can learn the child's desires and lead him with many wise questions to the point where he himself decides that he doesn't need so much.

Sometimes it's worth allowing the child to decide and buy what he desires himself, even if you consider this unnecessary. Perhaps his world of values will differ from yours. But support and understanding from your side will never be excessive.

Temperance from laziness and idleness, though it may seem inappropriate in the active life of a child, but one should watch that his activity doesn't turn into ignoring direct duties and fulfilling assigned tasks.

Gadgets, and their free use by children, in this case, won't be able to support parents, but will form unnecessary problems in children.

Temperance from using electronic media in your home should be made a rule and while explaining that communication with living people is always a priority for you.

In a game about being busy with a phone one can show by personal example how this device can separate friends and destroy communication. Let them experience your ignoring their requests to play with them, and then explain that others will feel the same when your child is busy with his phone.

Games teach much and at the same time don't spoil relationships and don't create tragedy.

1. Please read Phil.4:8; Eph.4:29; Prov.10:19; 14:29; 25:28; 31:26; Rom.12:2; 1Tim.2:9; Deut.6:6-7; Titus.2:7 in light of this chapter.

2. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

3. What did you understand from this chapter?

4. What other temperance lessons do you know?

5. What else does the Bible say about control over words?

6. How to teach a child to abstain from negative thoughts and emotions?

7. How to teach a child to control anger and irritation?

8. Why do different children react differently to instructions?

9. Why do praise and approval help children establish themselves in right things?

10. How should parents react to rude or foul words heard from a child?

11. How do games help children learn to control their emotions and speech?

12. Why shouldn't parents buy children everything they want?

13. Why is it important to limit a child's screen time?

14. How to explain to a child that communication with living people is more important than with gadgets?