Training Love

There are families where two or more children were born, and each child is a separate planet that needs to be studied, raised and instructed in truth. Any mother of many children will tell you that each child from birth has their own character and features that belong only to them. And this prerogative to endow the embryo with special soul properties belongs to God. The only thing parents can contribute to the uniqueness of child's character and their gender is to pray for the future family member even before they are conceived and appear in the world, submitting to the fact that the final word remains with God. The Lord answers our requests as we desire, but sometimes He can give us what He desires, to test us and teach us what we wouldn't learn otherwise.

Twins or twins are a special blessing that doesn't fall to all parents. They differ much from children of different ages. In this case, the born babies are connected by special emotional bonds that are strong and firm until old age. But this is a separate topic.

In a classical family, the first child is the main and primary object of parents' love. And by their selfish nature, firstborns gladly accept care for themselves, having no direct competitors with whom their parents would share their love and joy. But the appearance of a second baby divides feelings and care between two children, and all firstborns immediately notice and feel this, and may react unpredictably to such situation. Parents don't know what happens in the heart and mind of the older child, but by their actions they can quickly determine how acceptable their behavior is toward the younger relative and how dangerous it can be.

The goal of raising two or more children is to teach them to love each other and love God with all their soul and all their understanding. It is written in 1 Tim. 1:5: "Now the purpose of the commandment is love from a pure heart, from a good conscience, and from sincere faith." This verse concerns not only adult followers of Christ, but also young family members who cannot yet distinguish good from evil.

To teach someone something, it's necessary first to understand oneself the importance of having this love between father and mother. Whether parents want it or not, their model of behavior and relationships with each other will influence both their relationships with children and children's relationships with each other.

But when I begin to teach others what I poorly understand myself, then I learn together with them. This is a law of learning that the Lord successfully implements in our life, sending us where we don't know and calling us to do what we don't understand.

Having made the decision together with my wife to teach our children to love each other, we see in this teaching process that we ourselves need this same love no less than our young family members, and in instructing others we instruct ourselves. How can one demand and expect from others what one doesn't have oneself? And one has to ask for strength from above and Heavenly gold purified by fire to enrich oneself and all members of one's family.

God commanded in Eph. 5:25 husbands to love their wives, and children without extra words will see this love of father for their mother. And the best instruction and example of love will be in the attitude of love of the family head toward the family queen.

We are born to love and be loved, and therefore such relationships and science of loving is easily accepted by the child and helps them resist their innate selfishness, choosing love for their brother or sister.

The older child has huge influence on their younger brethren, and therefore their upbringing and instilling good soul qualities in them subsequently produces its effect through them on all their younger relatives. They become natural instructor in those principles and laws they themselves are taught.

Personal example of parents will always be priority, but words calling children to love each other are also needed and important. When the older child begins to understand meaning and sense of words, it's necessary to tell them how to love their younger brother or sister, showing how you do this. One can stroke the baby, hug and kiss them, rock their cradle or behave quietly, teaching that this or similar behavior is also manifestation of love.

Many children are inclined to be jealous of their younger family members, seeing how parents pay more attention to these helpless creatures. Father and mother should explain that they love both those and others, and instill in jealous creatures that love for younger brother or sister is the best behavior that will greatly please parents.

Spouses need to control behavior of the older child, and if they notice their jealousy, watch that they don't remain alone with their younger relative for long. While the infant can't speak, they won't tell you how unfairly their older brother or sister treats them, but once committed sin is easier to repeat next time.

Don't be afraid to use electronic surveillance means to stop all evil in relationships between children. While the older child is not taught love, they may, without understanding it themselves, succumb to internal impulse from enemy of soul and do what wasn't in their plans.

The Lord watches what principles are instilled in children and participates in teaching love. This is His gift and His heritage, and He is no less interested than parents in forming heavenly character in the rising generation.

One should also remember the following: What parents sow in child's heart and in relationships between children, they will subsequently reap. God will grow good seed, and one shouldn't fear that your children will be good and trusting people, and everyone will take advantage of this. Love is given to be given to good and evil.

Love for each other is God's commandment that must be observed by oneself and instilled in one's children. This is that character trait without which everything else loses meaning. All those principles of love that were offered in relationships between adults are also relevant in relationships between children. And everything you want to see in your children, parents themselves need in their communication with each other and with the external world.

It's necessary to begin teaching the older child love for the younger before the second's appearance. If there's big age difference, then perhaps your older child has already decided to love their future relative and asks you for their appearance. Then this faith and love for one who doesn't exist yet must be strengthened, encouraged and supported.

The general rule for all parents sounds like this: teach your children to love each other, love unconditionally, wholeheartedly and at all times, and the Lord will bless your efforts.

As it's now pleasant for Deity to see our genuine and pure love for each other, so will it be joyful for parents to see and know that love reigns between their children. And instructed to love in youth, they will preserve this until old age.

1. Please read 1 John 3:14; 4:21; John 13:34; Col. 3:14,21; Eph. 5:25; 6:1; Ps. 127:3; 128:1; Prov. 4:23; 22:6; Matt. 18:20; 1 Pet. 4:8 in light of this chapter.

2. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

3. What did you understand from this chapter?

4. What is the main goal of raising two or more children?

5. Why is parents' behavior model in the family important?

6. What happens when we teach others what we poorly understand ourselves?

7. Why is the science of loving easily accepted by a child?

8. What influence does the older child have on younger ones?

9. Why is parents' personal example more important than words?

10. How to teach the older child to show love to the younger? What methods can be used for this?

11. What is jealousy in children and why does it arise?

12. Why is it important to watch the older child's behavior alone with the younger?

13. Why shouldn't one fear raising children to be good and trusting?

14. When should one begin teaching the older child love for the younger?