Unconditional Parental Love

Unconditional love, or as it's also called "agape," is God's gift and that unique feature that can be born and develop in every heart wanting to have this love. Without understanding God's character and how His love works in us, any kind of love will be conditional, limited by human understanding, defiled by our sinful nature. And even if our imperfect love suits us, Heaven cannot accept it as something pure and right. But the Lord set before Himself the task to teach us to love each other, commanded us this and advised us to acquire this in the message to Laodicea as gold purified by fire, so that we might be enriched.

Any unconditional love takes its beginning from God's source of life and has in itself God's wisdom and His righteousness.

Unconditional parental love is also God's gift and decision of father and mother to love each other no matter what, and love their child regardless of who they are, what they do, what successes and achievements they've reached, how they behave, whether they love them back, what shortcomings they have. Love accepts all this, covers, forgives, doesn't notice, endures everything and continues to love no matter what. A child who is loved with unconditional love feels this, sees how agape manifests in parents' life, and understands that they are loved not for something, but because they simply exist, and they don't need to earn this.

Child's perception and young age don't imply that they should respond with love to love. Children live by feelings and emotions. They're not taught what parents can do, although sometimes they're capable of touching adults with their purity and sincerity, and it's hard to resist expressing tender feelings toward this God's gift.

To expect unconditional love from a small child is as foolish as expecting them to begin walking, talking, reading and writing before the time appointed by nature. Teaching a child to love is parents' task, for accomplishing which they will need more than one year. But with their personal example and constant demonstration of this Divine soul quality they can place foundations of this principle in children's heart and lead the child to begin doing the same, responding the same and thinking about the same.

Unconditional parental love protects their children from many evils that want to burst into each of our lives. It teaches children trust, obedience, perseverance, honesty. It drives out fear and makes them victors in all their life questions.

But this needs to be taught.

Parental love raises children's self-esteem, gives child confidence in their abilities, makes them brave in many endeavors, keeps soul from evil, teaches them to forgive and share.

In my life this happens like this.

I love my child regardless of my mood, thoughts and feelings, world and political events. I love them always, even if they don't deserve it or behave exactly opposite. I love my daughter even when she rebels and openly hates me, when she's not in mood or when she doesn't want to communicate with me. I love this child when they're near and when I'm very far from home. I love them even if they make mistakes or lose in many situations, when nothing works out for them, or they bring bad grades. I love in any weather. I love not for good behavior and flawless obedience, but because I decided so, chose so, and because I'm grateful to God for such wonderful gift for whole life—to have daughter and raise her, placing in young consciousness the best that can only be imagined.

Children are the most sensitive and perceptive beings on the planet. They unmistakably determine father and mother's mood. They feel any falsehood and won't accept what you want to play, not being such in life. Although they can't express many of their thoughts in scientific language, you can't deceive them.

Don't be afraid to show love where you don't want to. Children, seeing that despite everything you still decide to love them, will respect you for this.

Children greatly value justice, and when parents forgive them from love for them, they realize this. They understand they deserved punishment, but thanks to your love they experience influence of undeserved mercy.

If a child isn't fed, they will die. If they're not given love, they also won't see meaning of life. Love is just as necessary nourishment for soul as physical food. Child's spirit thirsts for this parental tenderness and is satisfied by it when receiving what's due. You can't feed infant once and consider this sufficient. They need constant new portion. The Lord, knowing our ignorance in matters of spiritual nutrition, placed milk in mother's breast so she would take her child in arms every time and press them to herself, feeding young soul also with her love and tenderness.

The phase of parental service to children lasts until five-six years. During this time it's difficult to determine child's heart language, since they're open to perceiving all love languages and accept parental manifestation of unconditional love in any form. They can't love the same way adults do, and sometimes their feelings or internal emotions make them behave unpredictably. Parents shouldn't worry about this. Love taught them to endure many events and accept everything in right spirit.

As a rule, all parents love their children and are ready for any sacrifices and actions for them. But not all parental love is unconditional. Not all parental love is perceived by children as love, appreciating those deprivations their fathers and mothers experience. If mother thinks she expresses her love for children by standing from morning till evening at the stove, then her offspring are unlikely to appreciate this properly.

If father thinks his love for family is expressed by earning money from morning till evening so all family members live in good conditions and have everything, then he will be very surprised that children don't accept such love and don't value such care for them. Children need their parents to constantly demonstrate and prove their love for them in love language understandable to their heart and in other languages too.

If father, coming from work, tells his children he loves them, and then goes to watch TV or read newspaper and asks not to disturb him to rest and restore his strength this way, then his words of love will bring little benefit to children.

Children are social beings, and they need such mentors who will be available to them at any time and for any questions. The most important teacher and representative of God's love is their mom, who usually spends more time in communication with babies and lays in their hearts foundation for all further children's construction.

Unconditional love teaches parents to give themselves completely and fully at the right time in right amount. It's wise and universal in its influence and knows how to do and prove what's expected from it. If it exists, then it will manifest itself everywhere and to everyone.

1. Please read Jer. 31:3; Isa. 49:15; 1 John 3:1; Rev. 3:18-19; Prov. 10:12; 1 Pet. 4:8; Luke 11:11-13; James 1:19; Deut. 6:6-7; Matt. 18:3; Col. 3:21; Eph. 6:4 in light of this chapter.

2. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

3. What did you understand from this chapter?

4. What is unconditional parental love? How does it express itself?

5. How to determine whether I have unconditional love for my children or it's conditioned by something?

6. Why is unconditional parental love important for child's development?

7. Why can't one expect unconditional love in response from small child?

8. What qualities develop in child thanks to unconditional parental love?

9. Why is parental love compared to nourishment for soul?

10. Why is it insufficient to simply tell child about love?

11. What role does emotional closeness play in unconditional love?

12. Why don't children always accept parental care as love?

13. How to learn to love child unconditionally if there wasn't such love in one's own childhood?

14. How to recognize that child feels parental love?