How to Determine Your Child's Love Language?

Indifference is a disease of modern society, and unfortunately, many people are infected with it, including our children. Growing up in a house where there is no constant expression of love, the child's mind adapts to such a life and finds pleasure in what this world offers them.

But then their parents learned about love languages and decided to find out which one is native to them, and which one their child speaks.

If your home does not practice love and express it in any way, except for spontaneous decisions and holidays, then no one expects any conversation in the language native to the heart, and when familiar words or actions slip through in relationships and briefly warm the soul, the routine of indifference absorbs these random manifestations and teaches nothing to anyone, forming a habit of not being surprised by anything.

But children are given to us so that we constantly prove our love to them and teach them to manifest it toward other people. For where love is, there God and His Spirit are present. And in love, any mind will develop completely differently than in an atmosphere of its absence.

Even if parents know their heart languages, they will still have to communicate with their children and with each other in all other languages, because a united family embraces the fullness of relationships, including every reasonable and necessary manifestation of love and care for one another.

Knowing the fact of which love language is native to your children gives you a good chance to prove your love to them with enormous advantage and success.

Which of you would be pleased to give gifts that are not appreciated, or to offer help that is not needed?

Love is the best reward for every child and the highest payment for them being in your life. Love helps raise compliant men and women. An atmosphere of love drives unclean spirits from the home, and the enemy of the soul cannot be where the Lord reigns and where God's Spirit brings much fruit.

Any deeper knowledge of your children and their true feelings and desires should begin with your sincere prayers that the Lord would reveal to you the secrets of children's hearts and hand you the keys of love to their souls.

If the child is very small and does not yet go to school, then you can understand their heart language by observing their behavior, but there is no guarantee that you will be able to accurately determine what is dearest to them.

You can offer a young schoolchild a choice of games to understand their preferences. They might want one in which you can touch each other more often, or one where more kind words are spoken. The child might wish to go somewhere together or help make something. With diverse free choice, the younger family member will definitely choose what is closer to them.

A more delicate approach is needed for teenagers. They will not always tell you what you expect to hear, and upon understanding your true plans, they may manipulate your desire to show them your love and make you do what will benefit them. In such cases, it is necessary to feel out the ground in conversation with them and practice communication in each love language for some time. Specialists advise dedicating about two weeks to communication in each language, and then, after a week's break, try and apply speaking the next love language.

But in all cases, parents need to be observant, patient, attentive, and wise. The child's free decision in response to your suggestions to do or organize this or that activity in their life will help the young person determine their choice and accept what will be dearest to them.

The good news is that every child has some heart language, and you need to find it through the right approach.

If from an early age of your children you understood these laws and manifested love in all its forms and spoke about it and taught children to express it in all languages, then most likely your child will become a polyglot in love.

Children's games can show you in which love language they are interested in building and expressing their relationships with each other and with toys.

If you see that a spiritual core has been formed in your child that helps them stand firm in various trials, and there is firm confidence in the direction toward Heaven and a pull toward Heavenly life, then it is worth initiating such people into more promising relationships, telling them about the laws of love and what happiness it is to love neighbors and give them your kind attitude.

If your child does not have a sense of security in your presence, then most likely they will perceive any manifestation of your new attitude of love toward them with suspicion. Also, if they are not used to expressing their emotions and thoughts on this topic, you need to approach them with special wisdom and patience.

It is important to consider the age of the child you wish to learn more about.

When trying this or that communication, observe what brings the child the most joy and ignites enthusiasm in them.

You can find this out through leading questions: "What in my behavior makes you happy?" or: "How do you understand from my behavior that I love you?"

Listen to what children tell you, what inspires them and what makes them happiest.

If the child expresses dissatisfaction because of your attitude, then try to understand whether you are causing them pain in their native love language. Remember that any punishment in the heart language is perceived by the child much more painfully than other disciplinary methods.

Write down all your observations and discoveries and discuss them with your other half. Let your desire to know your child's love language be a common cause, and where one does not notice, the other may discover more. Or someone may be able to express their love better than the other will do.

Consider the environment and habitat of your child. Other children or people may create unnecessary stress in their life, and in such a state it will be hard for them to accept anything good from you. Listen to what children tell you. In ordinary trusting conversation, they may tell about many of their secrets and open their heart to you.

When such a moment comes and you determine your child's love language, you can comprehensively try how best to express your love in this language and build your questions about this already within the framework of these discoveries. But always remember that with age or due to circumstances, the heart language can change or be out of place if there is an urgent need for other relationships. Let your knowledge always be directed toward building happiness, love, and friendship in the life and environment of your children. And they will definitely notice this, accept it, and be happy in the presence of one who loves them so much, cares for them, and consciously accepts them as they are.

I think that in this desire to study your child's love language, it would be good for you yourself to understand your heart language and teach your child to communicate with you in this language too and sometimes think not only about themselves but also about your happiness. Tell them about how you most like to receive love from them, and let them decide how and when it is best to manifest it toward you. Love knows how to act in both directions.

1. Please read 1 John 3:18; 4:8; 1 Pet. 4:8; Matt. 18:10,14; Prov. 1:8; 3:13-18; 18:15; Ps. 88:12; 102:13; 126:3; Rom. 12:9-10; Gal. 5:13; 6:2; 1 Cor. 16:14, in light of this chapter.

2. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

3. What did you understand from this chapter?

4. Why is it necessary to know your child's love language?

5. Why can a child's mind adapt to life without manifestation of love?

6. Why is it important for parents to communicate with children in all love languages, not just their native one?

7. What influence does an atmosphere of love have on the spiritual state of the home?

8. What character qualities should parents possess when determining their child's love language?

9. How can children's games and leading questions help in determining a child's love language?

10. What leading questions can be asked to a child to determine their love language?

11. Why is it important to listen to children's stories about their inspiration and happiness?

12. What role does cooperation between both parents play in determining a child's love language? Amos 3:3.

13. How can the surrounding environment influence a child's ability to receive love? 1 Cor. 15:33.

14. Why is it important to teach a child to understand their parents' love language?