Prudence in Charity

Prudence, also known as good sense and sound judgment, is a person's ability to soberly assess a current situation, think through their actions and decisions based on available knowledge and lived experience. This is the ability to analyze all possible causes and consequences of what is happening in order to avoid traps, mistakes or rash decisions.

Prudence in charity is a combination of wisdom and kindness, mercy and common sense, caution and responsiveness. Prudence suggests how to reasonably provide help, who really needs it, teaches to distinguish need from wants and manipulations, helps not to become a victim of fraudsters, includes readiness to help and serve not for praise or reward, but from a desire to help and participate in the needs of others.

Prudence is a consistent part of personality formation and spiritual growth. It is a natural process of mind development and life experience acquisition.

Not only children, but also adults, can impulsively react to all sorts of situations, without thinking about what is behind it and how it would be better to act. Mistakes teach, and prudence helps to avoid many mistakes and make exactly those decisions that you won't regret later.

It is written: "...show in your faith virtue, in virtue knowledge, in knowledge self-control..." 2 Peter 1:5-6. These verses are also called "Peter's ladder."

Parents should teach their children to analyze their good deeds, especially in the sphere of finances. Money is such a sphere of life that very many people claim to possess, especially if it can be obtained without any effort. And cultivating charity implies teaching prudence, which will help the child avoid deception, show wisdom in any good deed, grow spiritually and have an abundance of other blessings.

The personal example of parents and their reactions to requests for help open to the child a new world of opportunities for good deeds. Wise parents, helping someone in the presence of children, afterwards explain the motives of their actions, share how necessary their help was, and also are not afraid to tell about how they became victims of deception, responding to sincere calls from fraudsters.

Children learn what they are taught.

Before helping someone, it's worth understanding the reason that led the needy person to his need. God calls us to selflessness, but He does not approve of encouraging laziness, alcohol or drug addiction, thirst for easy profit or deception of any kind.

The child's motive may be the most sincere in the desire to do good, and if he helped anyone, then encourage his action. And if you saw that it was a mistake, then ask for wisdom on how to explain it so as not to kill good motives at the root.

I have been a frequent witness to how charitable people who became victims of fraudsters and lazy people subsequently refused to help anyone to avoid being deceived again.

Helping the poor does not always consist in giving him money or buying him food. Many teach that if a person asks for fish, give him a fishing rod and teach him to catch fish independently. Such explanations help children learn to distinguish true needs from laziness.

When we begin to talk about helping the needy, street beggars, who are everywhere, immediately come to mind. Here it is necessary to give clear explanations that in helping such people one should be especially vigilant and prudent, but if you see that your child sincerely wants to help someone, then let him do it. Maybe at this moment the Holy Spirit wants to ease someone's suffering through the good impulses of a little person.

But almost all people need real help, especially those who live without God and without any hope.

Home conversations about all sorts of good deeds, parents' stories about personal charity and what good consequences their good deeds had, teach children to analyze cause-and-effect relationships and plan their good deeds.

You can invent games in which children will be forced to help someone, and then hear words of gratitude and love addressed to them.

When discussing good deeds, be interested in children's opinions on how they would act in this or that case. Why should one person be refused and another helped? Teach them to say a firm "no" when they see that their kindness wants to be used for selfish purposes.

Make the child understand that charity is not always help with money. It can be expressed in time spent with someone who needs comfort or a kind word. Selfless labor or volunteer service for the benefit of others also forms good qualities in a person's heart. Prayer for someone's needs can bring great blessings and relief.

The child should be explained why people fall into need, what reasons there may be and how to avoid this. Someone perhaps got sick or injured, someone lost their job or housing, someone became a victim of temptation and fell into addiction. Teach the child to see the root and essence of the problem and learn from others' mistakes so as not to find themselves in similar situations.

It's worth teaching children to resist manipulation from those asking, when they, pressing on pity and seeing that they won't get what they expected, begin to press on conscience and feelings of guilt, accusing of greed, hypocrisy and callousness. Let prudence suggest that refusing to help such manipulators was the right decision.

If you had cases when you were in need, prayed for a way out and the Lord answered you through His people, then be sure to share this and tell how hard it was for you in this hopeless situation, and how the Lord solved this issue and how this help supported you and eased suffering. Your personal experience will be much closer to your children's hearts than other people's experiences.

The development of empathy in this case will help them understand the feelings of others and participate in their needs.

Call, if possible, children who help someone to follow the action of their good deeds and understand what benefit they brought, what mistakes were made and how these deeds can be improved and expanded.

It's worth discussing whether it's worth giving money to those who will obviously spend it on alcohol or cigarettes, and why one cannot encourage laziness of able-bodied people with one's help, who don't want to work but want to be supported by other people.

It's important to find out children's opinions about who and how should be helped and who shouldn't. Let them share their opinion and reason with you about the pros and cons of this or that participation.

In social networks there are many calls for help that are difficult to verify and should not be reacted to unambiguously, but if the heart is inclined to help, then help.

It's worth giving examples of how Jesus served people, easing their needs, how He selflessly worked and brought light to every person. But there were always those who did not accept His service or even drove Him away. The same attitude from people awaits us, and we must be ready for everything.

1. Please read Eph. 5:17; Prov. 2:10-15; 3:21-28; 4:7; 5:1-2; 8:12-14; 11:24-25; 16:16; Phil. 2:4; Heb. 13:16; Matt. 6:1-4, in light of this chapter.

2. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

3. What did you understand from this chapter?

4. What is prudence and why is it important in charity?

5. How does prudence differ from impulsiveness?

6. How to explain to a child the difference between real need and laziness?

7. How to teach children to resist pressure from manipulators?

8. How should instructions be given to a child so that his prudence doesn't grow into greed?

9. How to teach a child to say "no" to those who try to abuse kindness?

10. Why do street beggars require special vigilance in charity?

11. Should children be told that some people stop doing charity after being deceived?

12. How to inspire children to continue good deeds despite possible difficulties?

13. Is it important to teach children biblical foundations for developing a sacrificial spirit in them?

14. Why are sacrifice and selflessness better than accumulation and greed?