Training in Obedience

It is written: "Now the purpose of the commandment is love from a pure heart, from a good conscience, and from sincere faith" 1 Tim 1:5.

Upbringing is a purposeful continuous process of forming the mind, character and personality of a child in accordance with God's principles, cultural values and social norms. Upbringing is aimed at developing volitional, moral, ethical, cultural, intellectual and physical qualities of a person. This process includes transmitting to the child knowledge, moral values, experience, abilities to distinguish good from evil for their further independent development, socialization and self-realization in society.

Obedience is a child's behavior that includes voluntary fulfillment of requests, demands, instructions and rules of parents, based not on fear of punishment or authoritarian pressure, but on a natural desire to fulfill what they are asked to do or what is expected of them.

Obedience is one of the most important skills that a child must master as early as possible, since throughout their entire subsequent life they will have to constantly make similar decisions in one situation or another, based on their desires and knowledge gained in the parental home. Father and mother, through their influence and parental authority, lay the foundation for developing principles of obedience.

A child's will is subject to strong influence from instinct, innate carnal nature, uncontrolled feelings and unbridled appetite. They do not yet know how to distinguish good from evil and make conscious choices, and therefore will naturally demand what the lower forces of the soul dictate to them. Their will, mind and conscience are pure, like a white sheet of paper, and open to learning. And it is the parents' task to instill in children those skills that will not cripple the child's personality, but will correspond to God's will and expectations.

The habit of being obedient to parents is not developed in one go, but as a result of constant influence and instruction, and personal example from the father and mother, who themselves are obedient to the higher Heavenly Authority. This habit helps in the future to be accepted in any society, to be a good friend, to be obedient to new requirements and to be a law-abiding citizen of one's country.

Obedience makes a civilized person out of a savage who knows nothing, and the goal of upbringing is for a person to learn to control themselves and subordinate all their desires and wants to God's will. We read in 1 Pet 1:22: "Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart."

Parents should always remember that God cooperates with them and in response to their efforts also exerts His influence. Our child is also God's child, whom the Lord loves and wants to see in His Kingdom. And when we call upon God's name to help in raising children, then the Holy Spirit performs His part of the work, which He will not do without us.

Teaching a child obedience based only on what the father and mother desire is a serious mistake, because they too can make mistakes and disappoint their pupils with their behavior. Parents should initially instill in children that their obedience is based on what the Lord and His law require, which is the highest Authority for both children and their parents. In such a case, parental mistakes will not destroy children's trust in God, since the child will understand that their dad and mom are also learning obedience from Higher Powers.

In a child's nature there are already seeds of rebellion and discontent, which are called heredity, and training in obedience leads this little person through various deprivations, disappointments, hardships and joys of life, to discipline them and teach them to distinguish good from evil, choosing the good. Obedience conquers all hereditary inclinations toward evil and teaches the child's will voluntary agreement in a spirit of humility and joy. Obedience from fear of punishment, due to threats and reproaches, or due to lack of strength to resist parental authority is a temporary concession that will not be permanent, but will someday lead the child's soul to indignation and rebellion, and this will cause in them a spirit of conscious resistance to the parents' will. Although the child is small, they already have a sense of justice and very strong carnal inclinations toward selfishness, and these qualities of the soul will necessarily be set in opposition to parental authority. One should not fear this, but must be ready for such actions and overcome such manifestation with a spirit of love and respect, explaining to the child their mistake and how it is better to behave.

Parental requirements, based on their knowledge of truth and fear of God, must be constant and consistent with principles. If something is not allowed to be done, then it is not allowed to be done always, without any compromises. Then it will be easy for the child to absorb this rule and mark this prohibition as a law that cannot be broken.

One should not forget that the disobedience of the first person opened the door to lawlessness and was passed down by inheritance to all his descendants. If you want to have this evil in your house and see how it progresses, then allow children to do what they want, based on their desires.

Restrictions in bad things and freedom in good things set certain boundaries in the child's consciousness, and they feel free and loved within these boundaries and develop fully, having a creative approach to life.

If I only weed out weeds in my garden, nothing good will grow. For me to get something tasty and edible from the field, this needs to be planted and cared for. The same principle operates in a child's life. They need not only to be forbidden something, but also to be taught good manners, to have the advantages of obedience explained to them, to be instilled with useful truths and to be given a good example through one's behavior. When words correspond to the parents' life, then children willingly copy this model, and it becomes their worldview. Any obedience from a sense of duty, fear or pity is short-lived, but submission that has entered the heart from love, from understanding and distinguishing good and evil, will be a strong anchor of truth, holding the ship of the child's life during storms and trials.

Obedience to a person who has power and authority is temporary, as long as there is danger of punishment and fear of responsibility for violation. Obedience from principle is long-lasting and does not require constant parental control. The child themselves does not want to do what is bad, and when this principle is established in the heart by constant instruction and encouragement in a spirit of love and friendship, then the child's will becomes unshakeable in this matter, and it is not difficult for them to resist evil without suffering from mockery or insults from worldly surroundings. Love cannot live outside of obedience, for it is obedient to God and knows His voice.

Training in obedience is not only a temporary good for today, but also the formation of a child's good character, which over the years will mature and lead an independent lifestyle and use those advantages of a godly life that they were taught in their father's house.

1. Please read Col. 3:20-21; 1 Sam. 15:22-23; 1 Pet. 1:14-15; Isa. 29:23-24; Rom. 1:30; 5:19; 6:16-17; Phil. 2:12-13; Gen. 2:16-17 in light of this chapter.

2. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

3. What did you understand from this chapter?

4. What is obedience?

5. What was the very first sin of the first people?

6. Why is obedience based on fear of punishment ineffective?

7. How to achieve children being obedient?

8. How does sincere obedience differ from forced obedience?

9. Do you see similarity in obedience between earthly children and heavenly ones?

10. Is it pleasant for you to deal with obedient children and people? What is their difference from others?

11. Does your love give the child the right to choose - to obey or not, or do they have no chances?

12. Why is it wrong to base obedience only on parental authority?

13. In order to demand obedience from children, do you need to be obedient to Higher Authority yourself?

14. Who are law-abiding citizens? Does this obedience originate in the family?