Teenager in the House

A teenager in the house is your child who confidently parts with childhood and confidently transitions to the next stage of his life called "growing up."

As in life with God, each of us goes through a crisis of faith and enters the "dark night of the soul" in order to reconsider much in our life, leave much behind and become disappointed in something, in order to then rise to a new level of relationships with God. So too in the life of a child, a transition from childhood to adult life is planned.

And if in Christianity my growth can be stopped by me and my unwillingness to move further, then in the matter of growing up there are no such stops. The teenager will grow and change, he will pass through all stages of growing up and experience all personal crises that were laid in him by the Creator and nature. But any crisis can be experienced differently. If one is prepared for it from both sides and knows what needs to be done and what should not be done, then this time will fly by in joy and blessing, and the teenager will burst into adult life with all sails set, knowing where his ship is flying. But one can also crawl into this time with broken hearts, spoiled relationships, wounded souls and a desire for this nightmare to end as quickly as possible.

With the completion of growth, age-related changes also end. The matured person calms down, gains confidence and independence and plans his further life without any emotional difficulties.

The peculiarities of modern teenagers differ greatly from what their parents and grandparents experienced at this age. Modern information technologies have so powerfully crashed into our lives and taken possession of many people's consciousness that it is already difficult to imagine life without множества gadgets. A new term has even appeared - internet addiction. And this must be taken into account by all parents, because in this sphere there are many evil communities that corrupt good morals, through which spirits of wickedness in heavenly places can gain direct access to human consciousness and destroy life from within the heart.

When I saw footage of tsunami action in some cities, I was surprised at how innocently this water entered the settlement, confidently advanced further and further in the form of a small puddle, and behind it came higher and more powerful streams of dark waters mixed with all kinds of debris. After this, the entire city was flooded and wiped off the face of the earth. But the same wave in the middle of the ocean can look quite calm, not attract attention and have no effect on oncoming ships. The difference between a tsunami and ordinary waves is that its length can reach 100 km or more, and it will not stop before anything until these 100 km of water have passed their appointed path. If a mountain range stands in the path of this wave, then those living on it will not even feel any changes in the sea. Except that the water level will rise higher and then drop to the usual level.

The same can be said about the adolescent period and its associated peculiarities. It can last from 6 to 7 years, demolishing all barriers and prohibitions, destroying relationships and lives, and then long regret what happened. Or it can only raise the level of passions, collide with unshakeable values and, having tested their strength, return to its proper place.

Your teenager is experiencing very difficult changes in body and consciousness. These are new thoughts and feelings mixed with pains and fears, uncertainty and unknown emptiness. These are constant mood swings, desire to have independence from others, closedness and attraction to solitude, constant conflicts with himself and the external world, self-determination and search for those like himself in spirit and interests. But all this is experienced by your child, and he must walk this path himself in order to leave all his childhood in the past and become a new adult person who will take from his childhood everything he was taught, what he believed in and what he learned.

During the adolescent period, many questions arise before the growing child that did not interest him previously: • What is the meaning of life? • Who am I and whose am I? • Where am I going and what awaits me in the future? • What will I become? • What does God expect from me? • What does my faith in God represent?

And to all these questions he desires to receive convincing answers.

Hormonal changes in the young body bring with them new thoughts and feelings. A special attraction and interest in the opposite sex appears, which can become a blessing for creating healthy relationships or a sensual curse that destroys soul and body.

Parents also face many different trials for which they may simply not be prepared. Rudeness and irritation from the child without visible reasons will discourage any father and mother. The teenager's unwillingness to perform assigned household duties and new interests, partial detachment from everything also do not bring happiness to the home. Partial or complete disobedience and open opposition to adult opinion can deprive of peace. Disagreement on many issues and search for new life authorities can upset inexperienced parents, but their love for their child and wisdom from above will suggest how to react correctly to all kinds of trials, what to say and what is not worth it, where one needs to be firm and when it is worth not paying attention to strange behavior.

It is also important for parents to understand that the educational process familiar to them has ended, and now the time has come to love and befriend their growing child. Although the influence of father and mother has not gone anywhere, and they continue to care for their teenager and monitor household order and rules, the approach to education itself must be radically reconsidered and changed.

The teenager needs freedom and at the same time parental care. Although he is becoming big, he still does not know and cannot do much, does not understand all the complexities of independent life and will not be able to bear this burden alone. But the more he feels love and freedom, the stronger will be his desire to test these boundaries and understand where they end. And love must be strict and have those boundaries that cannot be violated at any age under any conditions.

Of course, each teenager is unique in his own way and may experience his growing up differently than it happens with others. But parents need to understand that all crises and changes of adolescence are part of God's program for spiritual and physical human development. God does not leave His children at any age. He protects them from evil and helps them pass through many trials in the right spirit, teaching obedience and granting special blessings. The prayers of parents, and of the teenager himself, will always have power and find answers in the life of the growing generation.

The teenager has an enormous need for love, acceptance and understanding. He cannot tell about this, but he very much needs it. And if he does not receive this in his family, then he will have to seek it outside the home.

A teenager in the house is that person who needs proper guidance, wise treatment, understanding of his feelings and experiences, love and care. And when he receives this, then he will be ready for much.

1. Please read Eph. 6:1-3; Col. 3:20; Ex. 20:12; Prov. 1:8-9; 4:1-2; 15:5; 20:11; Ps. 119:9; Eccl. 11:9; Isa. 40:30-31; 2Tim. 2:22, in light of this lesson.

2. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

3. What was revealed to you in this chapter?

4. What is God's design for adolescence?

5. How can we help a teenager understand God's design for his life?

6. How can parents' prayers influence the inner world of a teenager?

7. Why is it important to befriend a teenager and not just love him?

8. Should parents properly understand what is behind a teenager's irritation and rudeness?

9. How can we teach a teenager to openly talk about his feelings?

10. How can we protect a teenager from internet addiction?

11. How can we teach a teenager to accept himself as God created him?

12. How can we maintain closeness with a teenager during the difficult times of his growing up?

13. Why is it so important to talk with a teenager about the future?

14. How can we teach a teenager to see his life from God's perspective?