Foundations of Independence

When creating the first people, the Lord created perfect personalities possessing wisdom, independence, self-reliance and freedom. Adam and his wife had the necessary knowledge; they did not need to go through survival school in the new world. They were the richest people to whom belonged the entire planet with all animals, plants and minerals. They also did not need to worry about preparing food—everything necessary grew around them in abundance.

The first people were perfect teenagers who had the necessary fullness of perfection for independent life, but also the perspective embedded in their nature for development and further learning. God Himself came to them in the cool of the day and had relationships with them in which they learned new truths and discovered new mysteries.

But it was different with their children. Cain and Abel were born as all children are born and went through the path of childhood, adolescence and youth, learning everything that an ordinary child learns. I think that the process of their intellectual development differed from the development of our children, but in its sequence and principles it was the same.

Adam and his wife were given unlimited power, but boundaries were also established that were forbidden to violate under penalty of death. The first people were to work in the garden of paradise, keep it and cultivate it. When Adam was completely alone, before receiving a life companion, he had to understand that she was very necessary to him, and so much so that the entire existing world around him lost its attractiveness for the sake of the one who was not yet with him, but who was already in God's plans as a helper, opposite to Adam but corresponding to him and his needs.

Adam possessed enormous intellect, observation and imagination. The first lessons in educating his independence were given to him when determining names for every living creature that populated the earth at that time. He had to give a name to each creature according to its appearance and habits, remember it, and then tell this name to his wife.

Observing the life and habits of animals, Adam noticed that they were created in pairs, in which there was correspondence of one species to each other, but there was a difference in reproductive organs. The first man sought someone among them corresponding to himself in appearance and intellect, but did not find anyone. His independence could not solve the problem of his loneliness, and God's intervention was required, Who consciously led man to this need in order to give him a wife not simply for entertainment, but when man realized that he was alone and the entire world could not fill his need for communication with someone equal to himself.

God could have created same-sex people and populated the entire earth with them so they would live in joy and happiness, like angels. But He had another plan. He created such a creation that could produce beings like itself and gave the first commandment that they should be fruitful, multiply and fill the earth.

From this narrative about the first people, we see that it is the basic foundation for building family relationships and values that need to be revealed to the teenager and instilled in him before hormones begin to influence his mind and feelings. Common sense and basic knowledge should get ahead of all other processes of the teenager's development. He should know and understand that he is growing in order to become adult and independent, after which he receives the right and wisdom to create his own family, to arrange personal life independently of parents, to take full responsibility for his choice.

From Adam's example we see that before receiving a wife, he received work, was intellectually literate and was ready to give up the entire world for the sake of that one whom he did not yet know. These factors made man ready to accept God's plan, which he possibly did not even imagine, although he possibly had already heard that there should be two of them.

A similar foundation will help young men understand their readiness for independent life, and young women determine how much their chosen one corresponds to the image of a responsible person according to God's plan. This understanding will help young people not to rush events and see the goal and correspondence of themselves and their partner despite their feelings.

Teaching independence begins from the very moment when the child's umbilical cord is cut and he is placed in his mother's arms. And each subsequent year adds certain additions to the development of an independent personality. And the adolescent period brings parents to that moment when they must cut the "spiritual umbilical cord" for the second time, place all their responsibility on their children and give them absolute freedom in everything, being ready to provide help and give wise advice if this is needed in the first stages of independent life.

In teaching independence there should be no "crutches" of parental overprotection. Son or daughter should understand that they are useful and needed members of their family who make their possible contribution to the common family good and are irreplaceable members of this society. Their small labor is just as needed, important and valuable as mother's care and father's industriousness.

When responsibility is placed on a child, this teaches him to make decisions about fulfilling assigned tasks. Teaching independence should touch all spheres of the child's and teenager's life—both physical and spiritual. He should learn himself to control his feelings, emotions, finances, time and strength. Parents' trust, instruction, help and support in this sphere are very needed and always relevant.

A comprehensive process of teaching and educating activity in both spiritual and physical spheres teaches the child to be disciplined, busy and have interest in learning new knowledge and comprehensive development. At the same time, any activity should have measure and not overload the young creature with excessive burdens.

If your children are taught some independent actions, then you should not remove this responsibility from them and not let them perform these duties. Even if their work will take more time, let it be so. Do not interfere with them affirming themselves in these matters.

Shifting responsibility and teaching independence begins with ordinary conversations in which parents share their knowledge, suggestions and solutions, and then announce that their children should do this or that. After which the announced activity is placed on children's shoulders, so as never to remove this duty from them.

For example: If a child began to eat independently with a spoon, then it would be foolish to do this instead of him. When he learned to dress independently, you can correct him in some cases, but not interfere with him doing this.

The teenager should first hear what he will be taught, and then feel on his shoulders all responsibility for new skills and duties. True independence is not simply the ability to live without parents, but the ability to make decisions before God in accordance with His will, independently of other people and follow this course.

1. Please read Gen. 1:26-28; 2:15-20; 2Tim. 3:16-17; Prov. 1:8-9; Phil. 2:12-14; Gal. 6:5; Luke 16:10; Eccl. 9:10; Rom. 12:2; Matt. 6:33, in light of this lesson.

2. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

3. What was revealed to you in this chapter?

4. What qualities did the first people possess in order to be independent?

5. Why did Adam and Eve's independence include established boundaries?

6. How does the lesson from Adam's life help build correct family values before creating a family?

7. What does it mean that "common sense should get ahead of other development processes"?

8. How does involving children in family duties develop their sense of usefulness?

9. Why should independence cover all spheres of life?

10. Why is it important not to remove duties from a child after they master them?

11. Why is the ability to make decisions important for true independence?

12. What conversations with children help lay foundations of responsibility?

13. Is it important for parents to study the peculiarities of the adolescent period before it begins?

14. Why should a teenager feel responsibility for his actions?