Teenage Rebellion

Rebellion is a form of active resistance against established order, authority and unjust actions that exceed their authority. Teenage rebellion is an attempt by a teenager to declare that he is no longer a child and that parents should reconsider their habitual attitude toward him. This is a natural stage of growing up that parents so fear. When it comes, their natural reaction is an attempt to maintain their power in the usual form and achieve continued obedience and respect, even if extreme measures have to be taken for this. And the teenager sees this picture completely differently, does not intend to give up and tries to express his protest as he understands it.

In a child's life there are many cases of manifestation of rebellious spirit. But with a small person this passes quite painlessly, as the little one does not yet have enough strength, and his will is not accustomed to long resistance. When he begins to walk independently and resists anyone's help in every way, wise parents understand that the time has come for his independent steps, and they are always nearby to support or approve the little one if he begins to fall or wobble. As a result, the child begins to walk independently, and no one tries to force him to crawl just because it is safer.

And when the little one learns to eat, this threatens a big laundry and general cleaning of his "workplace." But mother is not embarrassed by such a trial, and she is ready to wash and clean her child, just so he learns to eat independently faster.

But when the adolescent period comes, which is given to teach the child to be absolutely independent and self-reliant, parents try to keep him in the "stroller" of their rules or take away from him the "spoon" that he now wants to use himself. During this period, parents need instruction and teaching more than their teenager. The young person will grow up and become independent despite everything, but parents may not understand what is happening and why their child rebels against them so much, since they do everything from the heart and with the best intentions. After all, this is their child, whom they gave birth to and raised for themselves. Their own flesh and blood. We won't give him to anyone!

How do you look at a five-year-old child with a pacifier in his mouth? I think you feel sorry for his parents, who for personal convenience do not try to teach the child independent life without this pacifier. As a result, he becomes a winner, knowing how to resist his parents' will.

It is necessary to be prepared for teenage rebellion and understand what it is and why it happens. This is not a declaration of war and not an attempt by the teenager to break his parents' will, but rather his cry of soul that he has transitioned from childhood to youth and wants to learn to be independent in making decisions and bear responsibility for his choice. The parents' task is to give the teenager freedom in these independent steps, but continue to be nearby, support him in falls and continue to love him and each other despite everything.

During the growing up period, the teenager develops his own "self." He does not wish to blindly observe all rules and be obedient only because parents want it so. He wants to understand why these rules are given and why they are such and not different. His rebellion becomes self-expression of a new worldview and an attempt to independently understand the logic of family structure. It is important for him to understand how far he can establish the boundaries of his personal life in which he will not be controlled. He needs not only orders and demands, but also logical understanding and explanation: why should this be exactly so? If he feels injustice toward himself or violation of his boundaries, he may allow himself indignation.

Of course, not all teenagers are the same, each of them has his own temperament and willpower, but the principle of transition to independent life is the same for everyone.

They all experience strong hormonal and internal restructuring of the organism, enter the phase of active growth and change of psyche. This causes internal stress, which they do not yet know how to suppress—and should not do so. Parents, through their ignorance in this sphere, may create martial law at home and begin a war without winners, with festering wounds and broken hearts. But if they understand what is happening with their teenager, this period can become the best time for strengthening love and friendship with their maturing child, helping him become a full and independent person.

The teenager's environment, books he reads, or films he watches can influence the intensification of teenage rebellion. If in the society of peers to which he belongs, rudeness, impudence and insolence are accepted, he involuntarily copies this behavior model and brings this spirit into his family. It is important for parents to understand what influence their son or daughter has fallen under and show wisdom in suppressing such an unclean spirit.

Bad company corrupts good morals, but if you raised Christian virtues and trusting relationships in children from childhood, in adolescence you will not have to wage an unequal battle and fight with an inveterate egoist who cannot be managed. Children accustomed to obedience will be more compliant in their teenage rebellion compared to those raised by the internet, television and the street.

Do not respond with aggression to aggression. Your teenager is not going to deprive you of life, he is simply fighting for his rights. Calmly listen to his anger, let him speak out, listen to his words and complaints. Even if you disagree, do not hurry with an answer, but wait for a calmer atmosphere when he can listen to you. During indignation he may not accept even reasonable arguments. Give time for emotions to cool and pray to yourself for the current situation.

Try to give logical explanation for every prohibition. And do not let your pride dictate its demands in establishing dictatorship of power. You will definitely lose if you begin to act authoritatively, without explanations, simply because "I said so" or "I want this." God does not approve of such behavior and will not bless you in violating others' rights to freedom and self-determination.

Teenage rebellion existed in all times, and the apostle Paul wrote in Eph. 6:4: "And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord." Be an example of love and friendly spirit, and this will bring you victory in all relationships.

Give the teenager more freedom, but at the same time let him understand the power of responsibility for his choice. And always remember that you are confidently approaching that moment when you will have to give your teenager complete freedom and release him into this world forever, so that he lives independently of you.

The teenager's rebellion is his new language, incomprehensible even to himself, with which he tries to convey that he very much needs parental help and understanding. This is not a war to the death, but a new stage in relationships that opens a new page of independent life for the young person.

1. Please read Eccl. 12:1; Prov. 1:22-23; 10:1; 13:1; 15:5; 17:6; 20:11; 23:22-23; 29:17; Deut. 21:18-21; Col. 3:20-21; Gal. 6:9; Heb. 12:10, in light of this lesson.

2. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

3. What was revealed to you in this chapter?

4. Is knowledge important that teenage rebellion is a natural stage of development?

5. What do teenagers rebel against? And can this be avoided in one's family?

6. What mistakes do parents most often make in response to teenage rebellion?

7. How should one correctly react to a teenager's cry of soul?

8. How does peer society influence teenager behavior?

9. What is the difference between rebellion as a cry for help and rebellion as aggression? Should these concepts be separated?

10. Why is it important to logically explain your demands to teenagers?

11. How can one understand where the boundary passes between reasonable control and violation of the child's personal boundaries?

12. What Christian virtues help cope with teenage rebellion?

13. What can parents do to prevent negative environmental influence on the teenager without violating his freedom?

14. What role does prayer play in difficult situations with teenagers?