Environmental Influence

When a wheat grain is planted in moist soil, it begins its growth according to certain laws. First the green, then the ear, then full grain in the ear, and after that ripe grain. And when the fields are white, they need harvest. Our children grow and develop according to the same principles. As their body develops, so together with it the soul and spirit develop. And when God-fearing parents lay a firm foundation in their child on biblical principles, his character develops under the influence of the Holy Spirit and the seed of truth grows according to certain laws, forming a certain way of thinking of the righteous. This is quite a prolonged process, but it forms a certain worldview that will withstand any storms and trials. And, as a rule, in adolescence, such young people make a decision about concluding a covenant with the Lord, through accepting water baptism, in order to already consciously and legally belong to their Savior and build their personal relationships with Him.

This is how it happens in ideal and this is what God wants. But from life we see that not all our children choose life with God and some of them go into the world, while others continue to attend worship services but without desire to become part of church brotherhood.

Just as many factors can influence growing greenery that can slow the growth of the ear, and sometimes even stop it, so the environment into which he has fallen or which he has chosen for himself can influence the life of a growing person.

For a teenager, a social environment of young people just like himself is very important; he wants to have close friends in his environment, authoritative people, to be like someone, correspond to fashionable trends and be significant in his environment. And all these things may be more important to him than his parents' society and their words.

During the period of intensive growth, the teenager seeks his identification and wants to try everything and find his place. This is a very interesting period of formation and for believing parents it is the most anxious time when they go only by faith and prayer, hoping that all trials will be for good.

Unfortunately, many people, in order to understand that dirt is dirty and painful, need to fall into it headfirst, and then regret it for a long time, but draw conclusions and begin to value cleanliness.

In the parable of the loving Father and two prodigal sons from Luke 15:11-32, we see an example of how the world can seduce our children, and then a revaluation of values occurs in their consciousness, so that they begin to value the true and truly understand what their loving parents taught them.

Young people vitally need society of those like themselves, where they can reveal their abilities on equal rights and have personal interests. The influence of such societies is very strong and can discourage parents and cause a storm of protest. We very much want our children to be with us, under our protection and supervision. And many, for this sake, are ready to buy computer games, smartphones and televisions, just so their child is in sight and accessible. But these gadgets can also destroy the teenager's mind, just like bad communities.

The best thing parents can do for their teenager is to love him and be his friends, allowing him to choose his own life path and bear responsibility for his choice himself, but at the same time actively participate in his life with their wise influence and personal example.

Remember that your children are always watching you. They will not miss anything in which you make mistakes or do not correspond to your words.

Your correct questions can direct their consciousness in the right direction and reveal to them the consequences of their choice before they burn themselves. Our task includes getting ahead of the world and this advantage is important not to lose.

For example, a question about your teenager's friend: "How do you feel next to this person? Does he help you become better?" will give reason to think about the influence that comes from his friend. It is important not to forbid, but to guide. Become a navigator who does not scold and does not argue with the traveler, but always shows the best path to the desired goal.

It is good if your Church has certain youth groups, clubs or sections where your teenager can go. But if this does not exist, then try to organize something similar in your own home.

Also try to find out who is an authority in your young person's eyes and why this authority has won your teenager's heart. Through unobtrusive questions you can help reveal the true motives of this or that successful person, understand the direction of his life and convey to consciousness that mistakes are characteristic of all people. As a rule, famous athletes, artists, bloggers, singers attract youth attention, and instead of scolding someone, discuss together the life and influence of these people and offer your own authorities who will be interesting to your growing children.

It is important to convey to the teenager the idea that all these famous people are in trend not because they imitate someone and copy someone's life, but because they create their own image and promote their own trend.

Any hobbies, fashionable movements, popularity and fame pass, become outdated and are forgotten. And trying to build one's life on this is like chasing the wind, hoping to catch it. Friends' opinion and evaluation is important now, but it should not be a stimulus for recognition of your uniqueness. You are special and this is your value. Express these thoughts to the teenager unobtrusively. Not immediately, but in due time he will remember them and they will have proper influence.

One father decided to show his teenager how the opinion of those around is not long-lasting. He bought himself a pink jacket decorated with colorful flowers and went to the market in this outfit together with his son. On the first day many sellers laughed at such strange attire, on the next day only a few smiled maliciously at the strange appearance, and afterwards no one paid attention to the father's colorful clothing, everyone was busy with themselves and their concerns.

Trying to please everyone is the most useless occupation that is very tiring, deprives of strength and means and gives nothing.

One should not criticize fashion, but you can ask: "Why did this become fashionable now? Who earns from this? Where will this trend lead? How long will it last?"

Parents can explain to their teenager that being yourself is a feat and strength. Tell him about his strong sides, about his uniqueness, about his talents and that he can also influence others. If he sits for hours on the internet watching what others publish there, then inspire him to make his own interesting publications, create his own channel and study the interests of his audience and give this world something personally his own.

Discuss your teenager's interests and participate in them sincerely, with desire to help and support. Tell about how all outstanding people in history went against the current, against general opinion, against habitual traditions and trends, they were not afraid of condemnation and as a result achieved recognition for their persistence and principled stance. What is important in life is not recognition from friends and crowd, but internal harmony with oneself and God.

1. Please read 1Cor. 15:33; Prov. 11:9; 13:20; 14:7; 22:24-25; 24:1-2; 27:17; 28:7; Ps. 1:1-3; 2Cor. 6:14; Rom. 12:2; 2Tim. 2:22; James 4:4; Phil. 4:8, in light of this lesson.

2. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind?

3. What was revealed to you in this chapter?

4. Why does a teenager's environment play an important role in forming his character?

5. How can parents preserve a teenager's trust in order to continue positively influencing him?

6. Why is friends' opinion often more important to teenagers than parents'?

7. How can one gently but effectively direct a teenager in the right direction?

8. Why can bad friends turn out to be more influential than good ones?

9. What is the danger of imitating idols and celebrities?

10. What steps will help a young person strengthen in his choice to follow God despite society's pressure?

11. How did environment contribute to the spiritual fall of biblical heroes such as Lot or Solomon?

12. Why do some young people leave the church although their parents tried to instruct them?

13. Should parents also reconsider their own environment and determine what influences them as well?

14. How can I learn to resist negative influence without losing love for people?